Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Well done Sleepysooz. Sounds like you are doing really well. I am soooo pleased for you. Great to hear you are going to stick with it for a bit longer.

Why is it boys seem to take longer to adjust to anything?? My DS stuill has his soothers at bed time. 1 in his mouth and 1 for each hand!!!!!
Yes, I know shocking. We have to decide when to get rid of them and when we do it will be cold turkey. I think we will go on holiday later this month, change him to his bed a week or so after returning and then we will take a look at taking away the soothers.

You are doing great sleepysooz as you have moved twins into own beds and own room. You have taken away no choice ) DS's soother dh's ear) all at the same time. You should be really proud of yourselves for what you have achieved do far. I will be looking to you for advice when DS goes into his big bed and has no soother anymore!!!!!

As regards your DS waking during the night - is there anything else he could have as a soothing item? Maybe a blanket, teddy?? It sounds like they have fantastic parents though. You have really gone to town with their rooms and I am sure those things will make a difference.

FOM - you won't know yourself when DD starts pre-school!!! You will miss her like crazy but also enjoy the free time.

thanks for the vote of confidence reece, it has been hard and is still hard though!

yes ds has a beanie toy (lamb) which I've told him needs looking after at night, and blow me down it back fired on me, I told him he could be his daddy, now he's worried the lamb has no mummy! (arh so cute) so I had to root through his toys to find a bigger lamb (sheep) I'd do anything for him to take to a new soother.

I wouldn't worry about night time dummies, specially if they are only used at night, so cute having one in each hand aswell, bless him.

When we were on holiday once, my eldest when he was 16 months old, carried 2 teaspoons around in each hand all the time, he didn't grumble when he got home (strange child).

I feel for him at the moment,(ds 10yo) he has just had full braces fitted and is worried about being bullied when they start back at school next week. He has to cut his food up as he is not allowed to bite into things, (feels a bit babyish for him) arh!

Good luck with your pre-schools next week!

fotm - super woman or what, but yes I agree its lovely when you have energy to interact well like that, kiddies are alot happier, but its not possible all the time and as soon as we start to flag, gosh don't we get moaned at and demanded!

I have had to choose afternoon sessions when the twins are 3 (in oct) because of the same problem as you - it can take us till 10am to get up, washed, drink, breakfast, and dressed! feel as if I have done a whole days work by 10am

so, you have my sympathy!

Well DS has his 1st proper day at pre-school this morning. It went so well!

He went rushing in and didn't even say goodbye. I was left walking back to the car feeling like I'd lost something

It will take 'me' a while to get in the swing of the new routine. Hopefully he will be ok. 1st days are full of novelty and excitement but that will probably wear off by Wednesday and then it could be a different story.

He was so co-operative this morning. Dressing, washing etc was no problem so I think I was lucky. He also stayed dry!!!

Don't worry FOTM - If I can get myself together and DS at pre-school by 9.30 so can you. I see myself as the most unorganised slow moving mother in the mornings in the universe!!!

Had bedtime trouble on Saturday night. DH and I were going out and I think he sensed it. He came out of his room a dozen times . I had to promise him a magazine the next day if he stayed in bed and it worked! I stole that idea from you FOTM!!! The funny thing was that he had forgotten all about it by the morning

reece, congratulations re: 1st day school, its always the case that we mums suffer more, poor you! what did you do with your spare time (look after ds2)?

Bet you wondered around like a lost soul!

Well done mini FOM with the bike!!!!

Sleepysoz - How are your nights going?

DS was great going off to pre-school again this morning but when I collected him he was all upset and crying because he didn't get raisins in his packed lunch!!!!He can be really funny about the smallest things sometimes. I have a packet of raisins ready for the lunch tomorrow now as I think he was a bit of hard work for the ladies today.

Its so hard to know what is the right thing to do sometimes. When he was at summer camp I gave him raisins etc and was told not to bother as he wasn't eating them. I thought, fair enough so I left them out. Then for some reason I put some in yesterday (a little treat for 1st day). Wish I hadn't bothered now. Oh well.

He is fine now he is home. I will be picking him up a bit earlier though for the rest of the week as I think he was getting tired. It's amazing how tired they get in just a few hours. I'm sure it must be similar to when we start a new job.

Arhhhh FOTM that is so cute. I always wished my boys would have a favourite cuddly teddy or something but the closest they have come to it is their teddies in bed. Still cute though!

I think you have dealt with it the best way you can and I'm sure afrer a few days she won't miss teddy anymore. I made the mistake of letting DS take a small matchbox car to pre-school during summer camp and it was lost for the next 2 weeks. He was most upset that it couldn't be found and drove me nuts going on and on about it.

Try not to worry too much. She may surprise you.

DS is at pre-school for 2.5 hours as well. He is wrecked by then.

Remember to be 1 of the first mums to collect so DD isn't waiting for you.

YAHOO! 2 nights on the trot now, going to bed by themselves - the twins have slept right through the night, well ds 1st time last night, dd does it anyway, gosh to think where we were and all that worrying a couple of weeks ago, POP! sorry just got the champagne out!

That will be my next worry, playschool in October when twins are 3, again dd will be ok but ds mardy little thing, clings to my skirt! (ah bless)

keep me posted with your pre-school efforts, hope mini reece is ok tomorrow, I found with my ds1 that whn he went to school first time, alot of the emotions when they come out of school is cause they are knackered and so pleased to see you and get a bit overwhelmed, don't understand their own feelings so they blame the upset on the first thing that comes in to their heads - although they are genuinly upset about that thing but couldn't obviously show their true feelings at school for fear of looking silly, but the upset is overdramatised because of the overwhelming feeling!

Sorry I hope you understood that bit of waffle! its the champagne! hic I'm just so chuffed.

Mind you I still don't get that much sleep cause my dh is obviously now back in our bed after 3 years of sleeping downstairs with dts, and he keeps me awake with his snoring all night! aaaahhhh! shut up snoring! hic!

WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sleepysooz that is fantastic news!!!!! I will have a glass of champagne for you

I am so pleased it is working out for you. Your twins will more than likely be much happier children now as well because they will be getting better sleep.

Now, onto your DH and his snoring. You could start up a thread on tips for stopping the snoring!!! I will jump on too. My DH does it as well when he has a cold or has too much to drink. It drives me barmy. I went out and bought some special tablets to stop snoring but funnily enough they disappeared before he got to try them. Hummmm.

Well 3rd day at pre-school went really well
I am so pleased with him. I do think the summer camp has helped a lot in getting him to settle in and be away from me. Before summer camp he was rarely out out my sight so it was hard for both of us to let go.

Some children don't need to have gone to summer camp though and they seem to settle in really well straight away. Unfortuntley for DS and I this wasn't the case for us. You may be lucky FOTM.

Anyway, so far so good.

Yes, 2.5 hours is really tiring to a 2.10 yr old. He was however much more tired following summer camp in July. Maybe the heat then contributed to his tiredness but he started napping again during the day. I was wondering if this was going to happen this time but he hasn't wanted to nap. The thing is - he is wrecked by 4pm and the afternoons can be a bit testing. I have just been making sure he has lots of calm time reading, watching tv etc.

DS didn't get out of room last night.
I agree with FOTM though, sleepysooz, just be prepared for the odd glitch as they can try it on every now and then even when you have cracked it.

Good luck tomorrow FOTM. I think your DD will love it.

Sounds like you will be fine FOTM.
You will be such a proud mummy when she starts to bring paintings, crafts and homemade cookies home
It's a wonderful feeling and you really realise that they are growing up fast.

How was Trisha FOTM?

Well you have day 1 over and done with and it wasn't too bad eh. My DS was exactly the same as your DD. He kept asking me if I was going to stay a little bit with him and I would say no. He wasn't happy with that but had no choice.

As you have said, be prepared that she may be upset tomorrow.

She may get upset for a few days or you may be ok. DS was upset during summer camp for the first 8 times he went. Then suddenly he accepted the situation.

I will always remember what one of the girls at DS's pre-school said to me. She said that most new children go through the upset,crying thing at some point whether in the first week or the next. Its just one of those things. Then they settle in and all is fine. Its so true so if DD is upset tomorrow try to keep smiling, say bye bye see you later and walk away without looking back.

I feel for you shedding a few tears yourself. So did I for 8 days!!! I also shed some on Monday. We are so bonded with our lo's that when they aren't with us there is a huge void in our lives.

Good Luck tomorrow.

Hia! [yawn] well, how bazaar, get kids off to sleep and dh's driving me insane, I am getting 4 hrs sleep a night with his snoring, he'll end up on bed/settee downstairs again if he's not careful + he seems to come to life about 3am (if you know what I mean) we have single beds put together making a superking size bed (6ft) wide (family bed) I think I am going to separate them or push them apart when I feel him coming closer, so he falls on floor! JUST LET ME SLEEP!

Anyway, I am now off my soap box, its lovely to hear your playgroup stories, takes me back 8 years ago when my eldest went, he cried for 8 weeks solid and they rang me after half an hour to pick him up, he was alot better when he started pre-school 3.6 just opposite and lively, still is!

I am having an early night tonight, taking myself off with a bar of chocolate, watch tv in bed, probably get 3 hours in before snoring hog comes to bed!

FOTM - thats exactly how I feel! I would love to be a fly on the wall at DS's pre-school. It would be lovely to watch him with all of the class and see what things they get up to, enjoy etc. It is a wierd feeling not knowing and not really getting the time to ask either.

As for using the toilet, would your DD's pre-school allow you to take her potty in? You may not want to do that though, especially if she has been using the toilet a lot at home anyway.

When I collected DS from pre-school yesterday he was in his change of clothes and later that afternoon he wet his pants again . I hope this is just a glitch and not the start of regression again.

sleepysooz - lol re: bar of choc to bed tonight . That's what I love doing. I am so exhausted today. DS2 woke at 3am. DH was into him twice but he wouldn't settle so brought him into our bed. He still wouldn't settle just wanted to play and spent the next 2 hours slapping our faces etc. I ended up taking him downstairs and he fell asleep in my arms at 6.30am. Just as I took him upstairs to his cot he woke screaming again. I don't know why he was like this but I'm guessing he's teething. Anyway downstairs we went again. Then DS1 came out of his room at 7am. I am wrecked. How did you get through such sleep deprivation sleepsooz???