Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

we've had a v big clear full moon here, hence the term 'moon sick', normally not one for 'supernatural' things, but really the kids couldn't sleep and neither could DH , they were all just tossing and turning in bed. glad its over!

Hi Mirchops.
Keep the chin up. I know how you feel.
I recently joined the gym to get some 'me time' and to get fit and lose weight at the same time. It has given me some self esteem back and I now have some kind of goal for myself. I simply need to have a sense of achievement.

When you spend your days looking after your children no-one tells you that you are doing a good job, there are no annual reviews, no pay rises or promotions etc. No lunch breaks, no holidays, no office parties etc.

I only seem to be reminded that there are shirts for DH to iron and that the fridge could do with a clear out!

The work is never ending........ but it's worth it I wouldn't want anyone else to be looking after my kids and I feel priviledged that I can.

yeah you're so right. I actually have both my kids in half time nursery now but i still don't seem to have enough time on my hands to do all the housekeeping and everything that goes w the job. but you're right it's still a privilidge that they don't have to be in nursery for more than 4 hrs a day! Gym sounds like a fabulous idea! Will look up my local gym asap! thanx for the tip!

Forgot to mention that the gym could also possibly be increasing my energy levels.( having said that last night was a killer, I came home and conked out on the sofa!).

Yes, its great. I even get the luxury of taking a hot shower for as long as I like .

I have also been in better spirit since joining. I do still have my bad days as you can see from other posts but don't we all?!

Hi everybody! Well twins actually stayed at playschool for a whole 2 hours yesterday, yipeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! put the flags out!

HV coming again tomorrow, see how we are all getting on with the Award charts etc, I couldn't put stairgate up at the twins bedroom door though, as they have night terrors (new thing), but saying that, they only get us up from 10pm - 1am then 5am now so thats an improvement, a whole 4 hours solid sleep! (am I supposed to be happy about that)?

Moods up and down, doctor said she was happy for me not to take AD's - as they don't suit me! but its very hard, one minute I'm happy the next I'm crying like a baby!

Oops gotta go to work now, till 10.30pm [yawn] Bye!

Sounds like you are doing ok sleepysooz. Great that the twins are settling into playschool and you finally get some time to yourself. Believe me, once they are fully settled in you will be able to relax a lot more. It won't be long now

My lo's are still sick with colds. its been going on for over 7 weeks now (runny noses, cough etc). Poor things. They are sleeping much better though and so are DH and I I have had the flu bug so its really been tiring looking after the kids. Seem to be getting better now though.

DS1 has been blowing hot and cold re: potty again. He has been brilliant today. He went off and did a wee and a poo all by himself . Yesterday was another story - a few accidents and his new trousers as well .
This has been going on for 6 months now! How much longer do I keep smiling when he pee's all over my cream carpets!?

Still haven't moved DS1 into his big boys bed!!!!! We decided to leave it a while as he has been sick and then DS2 got the bug as well. Once things settle down again we can get organised.

How is eveyone else getting on? Halloween treats still causing tension????

You must all be doing ok as no posts for a while

DS1 has started to push and hit DS2 again. I think it is probably becsue DS2 has started to stick up for himself and is also taking toys from DS1! The fighting has begun!!!!

DS2 has been difficult about getting dressed in the mornings the last couple of days. He kicks and screams. Don't know what has kicked this off but hopefully it will pass like it did with DS1. DS1 is getting easier to dress etc.

Hia reece, well we've just got back from our 1st full morning at playschool, looks like DS just likes to cry for me, so put the flags out again, as twins stayed for whole session!

Been very busy, DS1 had Concept2 Indoor Rowing Competition at Birmingham at the weekend and he came 4th in the Country, and the team achieved Gold medals, so well proud of DS atm

HV visit went brilliant and she says she will keep visiting me every couple of weeks, cool! actually she is really supportive, which is what I need atm with my depression. She did say I was doing fine and that I should stop expecting too much too soon, to take it slowly and one step at a time.

Twins ok, their behaviour doesn't warrant 'Supernanny' anymore, I think its working all this MN support!

My parents (in their 70's) took twins to Nottingham on the bus this week,to give me a break, I got so much housework done, then my mum asked if I'd had a rest, bless her, if I knew thats what she expected me to do, I would have!

Still tired and lack of sleep but hey, can't have everything.

Hi sleepysooz. Well Done to your DS for his rowing. Thats brilliant! It must be a wonderful feeling when your children grow up and achive things that make you feel so proud.

Well done to DT's as well for staying at pre-school. Sounds like they are settling in now.

Your parents are fab to take the DT's for you. Lucky you!

DS1 has been really well behaved in general over the last couple of days. Yesterday he did just about everything I asked of him I couldn't believe it. He was like a different child.

Both boys are over their colds now thank goodness but now I have coughed so much I have a bad back and am on medication for the next couple of weeks. Been told by Dr to try and off load children to someone else for a week. Who I ask??? I don't really have anyone that could do that for me so I have to do my best. Dr said DH will have to be full hands on with DS's all weekend and I was to take it easy to try and recover . When I told DH this he didn't believe me! Ummmmm.

I am not one to sit idle and can't bear to be stuck indoors so its going to be hard to follow the Drs instructions.

Hey FHOTM - Where are you? How are things going for you?

Reece - we've caught your colds! decorated the lounge, been to playschool (successfully), moved furniture, built a new fireplace, slept 5 hours a night, and KNACKERED

But after feeling ok for a few days I seem to have come down to earth with a bump! the support I had from my mum seems to have run low, so now I am back to feeling grumpy!

Surprising how if people around me are happy and jolly I'm ok but the moment its not there, SLAM DUNK! I'm on my knees begging for solitude! and moaning I can't cope!

Still can't leave twins to go to sleep by themselves, I need to go through that screaming barrier before things improve, although I do kneel on the floor at their door, but they know I'm there, so its not successful! so when they wake they need me back there to get back to sleep!

Well I'll just have to learn the long way round, made my bed now I have to lay in it!

Sorry to hear you were feeling grumpy sleepsooz.
Hope things are better now.
My DSs had gotten over their colds but now seem to be getting another one
DS1 is doing really well. I have really notived a change in him over the last couple of weeks. Dont get me wrong - he still occasionally ends up on the 'bold cushion' but his behaviour in general has improved. He seems to be more willing to follow instructions. Getting dressed etc. in the mornings is a lot less stressful with him now (more stressful with DS2!) and he loves helping me around the house. He has been doing some really nice things for his brother and he has been coming up to myself and DH and giving us hugs and kisses . He seems to be much happier at the moment.

He is still having the odd 'wee wee' accident but when he does there is no fuss from any of us. His accidents have reduced since we had the carpets cleaned

Fingers crossed all stays like this.

Hia Reece, hope you're getting in the xmas spirit, I have so much shopping to do, and I can't get into Nottingham, twins and Notts don't go together!

Next week is even worse, either DS1 doing 4 day play, and DTS have playschool church nativity and playschool and playschool party!
Roll on the end of next week! should really enjoy it but too many children too much to do not enough hours in days!

Twins seem ok atm, although getting up to mischief! emptied potties dropping contents all over bathroom floor ended in wee wee seeping through floorboards into kitchen below! LOVELY!

Toothpaste slimmed all over bathroom, and this is all in the time I am on Mumsnet, bah!
Still smiling though! either that or scream!

Health Visitor still coming, I feel soo lucky to have her input, she is a great help, I know all the ropes I just need to tie them up, (not the kids)

Been on e-bay alot trying to find xmas pressies for the twins, just had loads of bills so am totally broke, I don't think they will notice a few 2nd hand toys, mind you I might as well go in the loft I bet there is loads from DS1

Oh well off to work now so hope you are all fine and dandy, bye!

Reece, hope everythings ok!
MERRY CHRISTMAS xxx

Happy Christmas everyone.
Haven't been on here for a while. Things have been a bit hectic here but settling down now.
DS1(nearly 3.1)has been pushing me a lot over the past couple of months. We have used Time Out quite a bit in that time but things are calming down now.
I am so glad because I have been quite low and drained by the stress of it all.
Anyway - I feel much better now and we had a great Christmas.

Have a great new year!

Hello Reece, Glad you had a great Christmas. Haven't read all of thread, but remembered a tip from when I had three little ones, and that is that remember to show them with your face and body language when they have done something to upset you - not just to remain eternally patient with that sort of monotone voice that stressed mums tend to do. I used to find a (with a sharp intake of breath) "I can't believe you just did that", and rather overacted, was quite effective if used sometimes! Apologies if anyone's already said this.

Hia! we are trying the 'supernanny' approach to bedtime routines atm, going terrible, and have had to give up for a few days over christmas, re: illnesses! dreading starting it again! by the 5th night it was getting worse not better, and we were so proud of ourselves for actually doing everything by the book, but twins seem to be a little more tricky, as they wake each other up, only 3bed house so no room for own bedrooms! we were putting twins back to bed (in silence) between 100 & 200 times a night!!!!!! get one to sleep the other woke up then again they went to sleep then the other woke up, on and on and on and on! in the end I yelled, 'look mummy and daddy are tired and we are going to sleep, night night' and lo and behold DS took himself off to bed, (that was 3.30am) then DD woke up!!!! till 4.30am! got to sleep at 5.00am up at 7.00am whooppeedoooo!

sorry for that little moan!

fotm - thanks for the support, it is really tough at nights i know!

We have just started the 'supernanny' approach again, but instead of keep taking back to bed, after the third time we just turn all our lights off (except bathroom) and pretend to be asleep and after 20 minutes or so of crying on landing or in our room DS just takes himself off to bed, if he wakes in night we completely ignore him, (after we have taken him back to bed twice) DD (as they are twins in same room) holds her ears, she hates her DB being upset! so far so good, 2nights on the trot, hope we have cracked it, will let you know if the 'Ignoring' approach works!

Good luck with your new job, I work 14 hours a week and love it, I think just to get away from the 'grindstone' helps!

HIA REECE! howz things? are you ok?

Hiya everyone. Not getting much time to post these days.

Sounds like you are doing well sleepysooz with the 'ignoring' bedtime routine. Hope its still working for you. Hope things are going ok for you FOTM.

We have no problems putting our 2 DS's to bed really. If they have had long daytime naps it may take a few runs up and down the stairs serving demands for drinks etc but this normally doesn't happen as DS1 doesn't really nap anymore at all and DS2 just sings himself to sleep.

The problem we are experiencing at the moment is with DS2 (22 mths). He has been waking up between 5am and 6am every day for about 4 weeks now. It is so tiring for all of us as he sometimes wakes DS1 as well.

We have tried everything. Ignoring him, pick up put down (if closer to 5am) and unfortunately have fallen into the forbidden rut of bringing him into our bed. We know that this has now created a habit as he will cry for an hour or so until we bring him in. He beats us every time!

Any advice on what to do would be gratefully welcomed. I have wondered if he could be teething again but can't see anything happening....