Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Gee mummyluvsyoo I haven't really had that happen to me (yet). At least he is being nice and cuddly though. I'm sure it is a phase like you said so it will pass sooner than you know it.

Hi Reece
Oh yeah, he's always cuddly anyway and has always been carried around and cuddled even now that he's walking. But at the moment he's just so obsessive with it - and won't even play on his own with his toys. He goes to nursery two days a week and he's fine when he's there. I love him cuddling me but after two hours of nipple tweaking it gets a bit much IYKWIM!

Countdown to going in own beds tomorrow night, absolutely dreading it. DH and I have taken a week off work to cope with it.

Twins chose bedding/accesories, trying to build them up to it with encouragment/excitement. Hey ho

Don't know whether to go down the supernanny approach, (keep placing back in bed with no comment after 3 attemps) or putting stairgate up, as stairs 3 feet in front of door, but then how long do you leave it before going back when both screaming?

HELP!

fotm - thanks for that, I'm dreading the whole experience, cause we have tried it before and we were knackered! gave up after 2 months of 4-5 hours sleep per night! so I think we're in for a rough ride.

Do you think letting them listen to a story tape in their bedroom once we have left the room will do more harm than good!

Hi everyone. Sorry quick post as my parents are staying til next Tuesday.
Just wanted to wish you luck sleepysooz. You will be fine
Just remember - don't let them beat you and try not to get worked up. If you are calm they will soon get bored and realise you mean business.
I would definately put a stair gate up at top of stairs to make your life easier and keep the lo's safe.
If you can lock the other bedroom doors even better so they don't go on an adventure!!!!

Not sure about the story on the tape aqs have never done it. Just run them around outside before bed time to wear them out. Then do bath etc and stories to get them all relaxed. Then go for it.

You will be fine. Open a bottle of wine

Let us know how you get on.

Its awful! I knew it would be - twins in beds now dd ok but ds has to have his dad's ear as comfort, its like putting him in a new bed without his dummy/comfort blanket!

I have a stonking headache, 4 hours broken sleep in 2 nights, I have the added interuption of dh back in our bed and he snores, plus him having to console ds 6 times in night, I just can't get back to sleep!
This is how it was last time we tried beds, I lasted 6 weeks of 4hrs sleep per night then gave in, I just need my sleep, to manage twins next day!!

Keep it up sleepsooz. I know how hard it is but you may get it cracked a lot sooner this time around.

I sometimes consider myself too soft with my DS but when it comes to bed time I consider myself a bit too tough The thing is it works though. I have left DS cry many many times and not done any head stroking, soothing etc. The only time he gets this is if ill at bedtime or is in an absolute quivering and shaking breakdown!
Then he is too tired to play us up again and goes to sleep
Just remember the more attention they get through this, the more they will seek and it will take longer to crack it. I know its a fine line but sometimes it is kinder to them settling into heathier sleep patterns in the long run.

Hope tonight goes ok Who is winning then? DH or you?

Well I think I am cause my dd sleeps through, she's brill, although I did stroke her cheek last night to get her to go, they get past the tantrum side and start to cry from the belly, a real sob, we havent heard this sad cry before so we're not used to dealing with it, its almost a frightened cry!

Ds gets really sad, its a frightened cry and of course without his dad's ear(his comfort thing to hold) he finds it the hardest getting to sleep and through the night without it! its a bit of a wrench for him!

Oh well, will try again tonight, but if after 10 days and its still bad, I'm going back to our old routine, cause we are old parents, we need our sleep to cope with the next day!

At least dd has nearly cracked it, (thats half the battle)

last night was awful, had to get up 10 times to sort them out! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah [cross, tired]

fotm - Sorry you're having it rough at bedtimes, I know how hard it is, we have weakened with the twins already and let them fall asleep then carry them to bed, seems to work better for them (at the moment) we are old parents and need our sleep, we'll try anything at the moment.

I know putting them to bed awake is the correct method, but I find it so hard getting up in the night, actually I'm lucky, my dh does it normally, although I'm awake listening, he's more patient in the middle of the night, I know there is no patience needed for just placing a child back in bed but when it happens 10 times in 1 night I turn into a bear with a sore head (understatement)

Oh well just think in 10 years time, we'll be fighting to get them out of bed not in! thats the only light at the end of the tunnel, gosh I'll be collecting my pension then though!

FOM - Hi there. Sory to hear you have had a couple of nights with DD getting out of bed. DS has done it the last 2 nights as well. It's as if just as you have anything cacked with them, they throw in a joker to catch you out!

If DS wakes during the night we just return him and he goes back to sleep (most of the times).

Sleepysooz - Sorry to hear you have been having it tough. I know how hard it is. I didn't realise they were getting up during the night. I thought the problems were getting them to stay in their rooms at bedtime or are you having problems with both?

Please please try to stick with rapid return no matter how hard it is. I know it's easier said than done but it will pay off in the end.
Of course you could always try a sticker reward chart if not done that already. (works for some, not others).

Wish I could help you during the night waking. It drives me insane when it happens. I love my sleep and when its interrupted I can be like the devil himself! The difficulty is that the calmer you are the better chance you have of lo's settling back down again. How do you hold your cool at 4am when half asleep, exhausted etc...??? It's a tough one isn't it.
Anyone else on MN got advice on night waking and how to try and break the habit????

When my little ones went through nights and nights of waking and crying, I'd feel so low. It made me tearful in the day through lack of sleep I've since found a fantastic little book (and not expensive!) called The Greatest Baby & Toddler Tips in the World, by Vicky Burford (mother of 4). This had a step-by-step guide to getting a peaceful night and a hundred or more other really helpful parenting suggestions. A really really useful book that will give any new mum/dad/grandparent loads of support. Have a look at \link{http://thegreatestintheworld.com}.

Thanks for that funnybunny. Looks interesting.

Hey sleepysooz how are you getting on?

I read other thread on moving from cot to bed. Are things any better?

My DH snores at times and its awful. Sometimes its so bad that its worse than getting up to DS in the night half a dozen times.

Things are clam here during the night at the moment but 2 weeks ago it was hell. Each time we settled DS1 from night waking he woke DS2 up. Is this happening with your twins?

sleepysooz how are you???? Still hanging in there or did it get a bit too much???? You poor things. It must be so hard trying to handle twins at this stage in their development.

DS2 is teething at the mo again!!! Woke up twice during the night but only for seconds. It was enough to tire me out this morning though.

The countdown to pre-school for DS1 is on. 3 more days to go. I even dreamt about it last night! I just hope he settles in ok and we don't have to go through the trauma of separation again. It was awful last time. The poor thing was clinging to my legs saying mummy don't leave me... It was so upsetting. They suggested that I drop him into creches during the break but I never did.

Hi FOM. Great to hear from you.
The girls at DS's pre-school are exactly the same - they like you to say a quick goodbye and leave. On our 1st day of sumer camp (which was at the pre-school) I took DS in and stayed for a while (maybe 5 mins), then I told him I was going for a little while and would be back later. He was so thrilled with all the toys, books etc that were there that he didn't seem too bothered about my leaving.

By day 3 it had sunk in that this was going to be a regular occurence and then the difficulty started. He hated me leaving but I still gave him a hug and a kiss and said I would be back later. The girls gave me great advice. They said keep a smile on your face even if he is crying and clinging. If he sees I am happy he will soon get over the seperation. They were great. They called me after the first few days of difficult goodbyes to tell me he settled down as soon as I left.

Try not to worry too much as they will pick up on your tension (like everything else).

By week 3 DS was loving it and hardly said goodbye to me!!!!!

DS has not really spent much time being left with others so you may have a beeze with DD.

Enjoy the 'mummy' time It's fab even with DS in tow.

Hia ladies!

Well what a tiring week that was. Twins in own beds has worked a little, DD cracked it but DS again was up 10 times last night, he finds it really difficult to sleep by himself, even though he has his sister in the same room!

We went to ingolmels yesterday, had a lovely day, they slept in car coming home, we thought we were for a late night, but we just put them straight to bed, they were fine. (for the first hour)

Ds has to go to bed without his comfort 'dh's ear' so I think thats why he wakes up so much.

We are going to carry on with it, cause their bedroom has cost a small fortune, I bought them a little rug, a beanie toy, winnie pooh fairy lights (so cute) winnie pooh poster, helium balloon each, a secret box, new bedside tables, curtains etc....

They love their beds and will go to bed, I have bought them a little CD player which plays lullabys, they love that too. DD takes longer to get to sleep, but she stays asleep (most of the time)

Twins are also going to be starting pre-school soon when they are 3, can't wait, but ds will scream I know! I can't leave him anywhere, he even screams at work in the creche till I take him out!

Oh well must go, I hear screaming downstairs, I've left twins with dh making shell pictures from the seaside (glue, aaaaah)