Immense baby name regret

[SLNM]

Baby is 3 months old, and I have started to regret her name. We named her Desiree (which is a name that DH had suggested). It is mainly the comments of others that are causing my regret. When we go to the shops, we get reactions that seem negative when someone asks what her name is. My parents do not like her name. I want to change her name but am not certain that I will be able to convince DH. It doesn't help that she is likely to be our only child (which only makes the regret stronger).

We had considered Isabel, Jacqueline, Lucy, and Scarlett as well, but DH wasn't as keen on those as I was. What would you do?

I don't like it.

I don't understand all the nickname suggestions either. Why choose a name for them to be called by something else entirely. Dizzy for example is ridiculous. Ray is rather nice but why not just call her that to begin with.. Not that Ray Joy flows well, but my point is keep the name and call her that, or change it completely.

Absolutely stick with it if you both like it. Agree maybe shorten it to Desi.

I love the name Joy too, by the way.

And you've gifted your daughter with such warm, positive names.

I guess so and perhaps I’m naive or overprivileged but I really don’t see why it’s a problem.

I think it’s the sort of name you have to grow into. My friend called her baby Bradley and it just seemed so weird for a tiny newborn. Now he’s a teenager and it seems totally normal (if not a name I would choose).

I think Desiree Joy is beautiful.

I'd be a bit confused by a white child having that name in truth.

But on the plus side, at least there won't be another 5 of them at school when she goes. My darling middle granddaughter has got a beautiful but popular name and there are 5 other kids with that name in her school (2 in the same year) - hence having to use the initial of their surnames as well as their first name all the time. She hates it now she's older and often says why can't she just have a name that no one else at school has

Ray Joy sounds like something you would get from Love Honey! 😬

Sorry to say that was my first thought too so definately not name I would choose.The name is actually a lot more common than you realise too.

But if you like it, stick with it. No name is ever perfect for everyone. She may like her name. If not maybe she can change it herself when she's older.

It’s a reasonably common name in Germany where the short form Desi is pronounced Daisy.

I would use Ray or Raya as a nn.

Both my 2 have typical 1990s names, and I can't count on the fingers of one hand the amount of children/people they have met who have the same name (within 5 years of their age.) Both of them were the only ones in their primary school (of 400 children) in the early noughties with their name. Yet they were both in the top 40 names of the 1990s. It doesn't follow that just because a child has a popular name that every third girl or boy that they meet will have the same name.

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Well Joy is a lovely name.
Each to their own.

Your husband sounds positively dreadful.
Only liked one name and wouldn't consider any others?

Just awful.

I would keep it as her home name and choose another for her official name if you are really regretting this so deeply.
I think desiree is really sweet and it’s uncommon. I think she could style it out. But choose something else for peace of mind. The fact you feel strongly then I would change it. And keep it for her family name. My son has two names

Having it as her 'home name' isn't going to change the fact that it's still her name.

Another vote for stick with it! I like it.

I'm white with a name that is more common in black American Christian communities. Hasn't caused me any problems and I like my name too.

I had assumed you were black too. I know three black women called Joy so when you said that was your DDs middle name I was even more convinced.

I think you either need to embrace the name and just own it and politely tell people very confidently We love it!’ Or change it now to something more conventional that you are more comfortable with. Lucy, Isabel and Scarlett are all lovely and no one will bat an eyelid when you say her name.

To me Desiree is a black American name, for a white British person it is up there with Chardonnay or Destiny for me as a chavvy name IMO.
I also think if everyone prefers the nicknames to the actual name then it's probably not a great choice.

I think Jaqueline Joy could end up as JJ which IMO is awful so I wouldn't do that. Scarlett Joy would be my choice. I love Raye but Raye Joy is not good.

OP I hope you are reassured by the positive reactions here.

I strongly suspect that the reason you are getting negative reactions when you tell people is that they are imagining her name is Daisy-Rae and think it is chavvy.

I agree that it is known as being more popular amongst black American people but so what? It’s not a recently made-up name, it has credible history. (And Desiree Burch is brilliant). The meaning is very similar to Aimee/Amy.

Well done to your DH. You can easily call her just Ray from day to day, that is a very cool name at the moment. Jacqueline is a middle aged British woman name, pretty meh.

I really like the name, it’s unusual which is why people are probably having reactions, but I wouldn’t assume it’s because they think it’s a bad name.

A lot of people will associate that spelling with a pronunciation of Deh-Zeer-ray though so prepare yourself for that.

If you and your husband like the name though, don’t change it based on other people reactions and what you are assuming they may be thinking.

Jacqueline will get shortened to Jackie which is v 70s.

Something I find interesting is why names are never considered to be examples of cultural appropriation.

White people having dreadlocks/cornrows is cultural appropriation, as is wearing a turban as a fashion accessory. But for some reason, using names that originate from a certain country, or are strongly associated with different cultures, is not considered to be cultural appropriation. I wonder why that is.

Yes but it’s a nice name. The more I’m thinking about it the more I like it actually!

im thinking that because op is feeling so regretful, another name just gives more choice in the future.

I have a son with similar vibe name and not what I would have chosen myself. But it’s him and he has to style it out. The father chose names

@OP surely when you read comments like this you realise that you are mad to care in the slightest what such ignorant people think of your daughter’s name? You wouldn’t care about any of their other opinions, would you?

I like Rey. What about that as an alternative?

I knew a woman - much older, different generation - and her name was Dadzlee.Dadzlee!

So are Anya and (King) Edward but I don't see anyone cautioning parents against calling their kids those names. Lots of first names are used for fruits, vegetables and plants, because - obviously - growers often name their varieties after people.

It's a very feminine, pretty name.

It's of French origin, as you probably know.

I wouldn't let the ignorance of the general public sway me from naming my child a beautiful name.