Immense baby name regret

[SLNM]

Baby is 3 months old, and I have started to regret her name. We named her Desiree (which is a name that DH had suggested). It is mainly the comments of others that are causing my regret. When we go to the shops, we get reactions that seem negative when someone asks what her name is. My parents do not like her name. I want to change her name but am not certain that I will be able to convince DH. It doesn't help that she is likely to be our only child (which only makes the regret stronger).

We had considered Isabel, Jacqueline, Lucy, and Scarlett as well, but DH wasn't as keen on those as I was. What would you do?

100 million percent this. Despite all the 'oh who cares what all the ignorant, badly-educated, plebs, who know sod-all about CULTURE think' type comments, the FACT is that the OP is having massive doubts about the name HERSELF, and this is why she has posted this thread!

As the OP said, people - in real life - are reacting to the name badly and negatively, and whilst some posters are claiming the name is 'classy' and 'lovely' and she needs to ignore any negativity, clearly the reactions from some in real life (as well as on here) are proving that the OP calling a baby girl this name was not the best decision, and it probably is a good idea to change it.

I like it, and it has nickname potential which will develop once in school.
My ds has a name that definitely isn’t well received on mn and I don’t care because I love it. Did have a few random comments when he was a baby that I laugh about.

That's not quite true and is very negative.
The original name will remain on the birth certificate, but the new name will be on the certificate too, where I have circled in red. The baby's name will officially be the one in section 17.

Once you have a passport, the passport is almost always enough ID.

I know a white English Aliyah in her 50s, but I realise you were just choosing a name at random!

I have had to go back and re-read my post because that is literally, exactly what I said, and I can't work out what you are disagreeing with. The new name is added and the original one is not removed, as clearly demonstrated by your example - thank you.

If OP is being encouraged to make a change to a document which will stay with her daughter for the rest of her life then she is entitled to the details of the process so she can make an informed decision, rather than just a breezy ‘you can change it before 12 months’ which is the received wisdom on MN. I certainly had to provide my full birth certificate (and my parents’) when I got married, and I know that colleagues have needed to produce them for enhanced police checks when working abroad in some jurisdictions.

It’s not necessarily negative but it is true.

I would associate the name Desiree as a stripper or drag queen name. Especially if the names Desiree Joy are together.
Joy is a lovely name by itself or with another name.
Though, your daughter might really like having a different name.

@ZoyaTheDestroyer , "Perhaps you know this but I don’t think many people realise that it isn’t possible to ‘change’ the name in the sense of completely removing the original name. The new name is added and the register amended. Desiree will always appear on OP’s DD’s full birth certificate."
What your post implied is that her name won't officially be changed. It will.

that is literally, exactly what I said, and I can't work out what you are disagreeing with.
It wasn't literally what you said, because you implied that the name would not be changed.

I have only needed to provide my birth certificate on a handful of occasions in my adult life.

That's what I said earlier.

Perhaps you just want a row, but I'm afraid you'll have to find it elsewhere.

Saying the name can be changed might imply to many that the old name can be permanently removed. It can't. The new one is added, the old one is not removed. We're both saying the same thing although you have applied your own, erroneous inference to my posts and I really don't know why. Have a nice day.

@ZoyaTheDestroyer , I didn't say that the name on the birth certificate can be changed, and I showed where the new name would appear.

@SLNM , If the name in section 2 was Desiree Joy Citizen, it would not be crossed out or removed. The baby's new official name, Jacqueline Joy Citizen would be in section 17.

I don't know anyone who has made such a change, but I know someone whose child's name was misspelt on the birth certificate, and they got it changed.
The name change was something like Rapheal James Citizen and the new name Raphael James Citizen.

Louisa was actually on my short list of baby names, but my DH didn't like it - luckily we found something else we loved, but I think it's a beautiful name! It's so classically elegant, and always makes me think of Louisa M Alcott, so has good associations.
It must be frustrating to always have to correct people though - I wouldn't have thought that would be an issue!

Well no need to google, I'm French, she is well-known (to us). Actually there are even two old films about her, a French one and an American one. Possibly the US one is why the name became popular over there.

I started off the thread thinking "Noooo", but somewhere between page 1 and page 11, I've started to like it, but can someone tell me how it is pronounced? I have always assumed it was Dez-ear-ray, but after reading some of the comments, I'm thinking that's not correct?

I have a fairly unusual name (at least it was when I was born in the 60s - you do hear of a few more of me in recent years). I hated not being a Sharon, Paula or Jane at school, but as an adult, I wouldn't change my name for the world. It gets some lovely compliments from people. If you truly like the name, it doesn't matter a jot what others think.

Ps. and whilst everyone else is thinking of a 90's singer, my immediate thought was the spuds my late Dad used to grow on his allotment!

Both Desirée and Joy are beautiful names. God knows where anyone's getting "chavvy" from. I think baby name regret is normal though. You have to finalise your choice in such a small time window that it always seems as though there may be something better along soon (bit like husbands, lol). I certainly wouldn't change it because of what other people think, and I think it's very rude for anyone to be voicing a negative opinion anyway. Maybe you should change your friends instead.

@Linenspots I have no idea what sounds “Des-ear-ray” would make in your head, you haven't indicated which syllable has the stress and I suspect that “ear” does not have a rhotic (audible) “r”.

I would say it is pronounced DES-uh-ray with the “uh” almost imperceptible (hence why the singer went by “Des’ree” professionally.)

Well, I’m Irish and I’d heard of her too. I don’t think she’s that obscure.

It's a French name, our vowels aren't like yours and nor are our Rs but Désirée in English sounds roughly like 'Daisy ray' with a slight emphasis on the ray. Say Daisy ray with a joke French accent and you'll be close 🙂

Pretty, though I think I'd personally perhaps include the original accents so she's Désirée, which is in keeping with the name's French origins (derived from the Latin root, meaning desired).
Thus it would lean less towards the American popular spelling/dialect, if comments have been getting under your skin.

Congratulations on your lovely little girl.

If you both love it, stick with it and bugger everyone else

I didn't need to Google either. I have known about Desiree Clary since I was a young teen and read Desiree by Annemarie Selinko on which the American made movie was based. Besides being Napoleon's first love, more importantly, she married French Field Marshal Bernadotte and together they established the ruling house of Sweden which continues to this day.

She is really not all that obscure.

You like the name so keep it. 😊 It's a pretty name and unusual names are much less of a big deal these days. Your dd will likely be in a class at school where the children will have families from all over the world, and so they will have a huge variety of names. She's very unlikely to get teased for it or anything.