Immense baby name regret

[SLNM]

Baby is 3 months old, and I have started to regret her name. We named her Desiree (which is a name that DH had suggested). It is mainly the comments of others that are causing my regret. When we go to the shops, we get reactions that seem negative when someone asks what her name is. My parents do not like her name. I want to change her name but am not certain that I will be able to convince DH. It doesn't help that she is likely to be our only child (which only makes the regret stronger).

We had considered Isabel, Jacqueline, Lucy, and Scarlett as well, but DH wasn't as keen on those as I was. What would you do?

FWIW- I didn't like DS1s name. We named him for a family member of DH. I thought it was boring, ugly. I really wanted something else, and it was a compromise name.

I LOVE it now. Loved it from when he was about 3 years old. I just sort of mentally changed my mind. We have had mixed reactions from 'You don't hear that much anymore' to 'Oh how lovely and traditional for a change' to 'How boring'. (Literally 'how boring' from a friend of DHs who followed it up with 'We assumed you'd choose something pretentious'. I mean- who says that to someone's face?

So I say ignore what others say. YOU both love it, and it is a really lovely name. And it's your DD's name. It has such a lovely meaning and is a blessing upon her.

In this case, Desiree is of French origin. It may "sound black" to some, but its origins aren't. I don't exactly think that its possible for white parents to culturally appropriate a name from another European culture.

I think people are so fucking unpleasant when it comes to the names of babies. Some of the most ridiculous shit you hear is “will luna get a degree/job/be an exotic dancer”. It’s a name. A name never stopped anyone going to university. Not all people have to be named Katherine or Michael to flourish.
I went to school with a kid with a dreadful family, he ended up in a specialist provision for kids with anger issues. He had shocking upbringing and his name was pretty out there. Theory locally was his parents named him something unusual so if he was removed from their care they’d be able to find him easily when he was an adult. The name now isn’t anywhere as near out there, it’s just when we grew up most boys names were Adam, Kevin or Andrew. Anyway this kid with odds stacked fully against him now runs his own very successful building company employing young lads from shitty backgrounds. He and his “council housed and violent” upbringing is more successful than the kids who grew up relatively wealthy by comparison.
Names don’t stop people achieving fuck all. Nor does an accent. If people are shitty because your kids names aren’t in the top five then fuck them. Anyway often people don’t realise (not necessarily an age thing, just once you’re not naming kids of your own you’re out the name loop unless you work in a school) but names have come back in. My grandma said before she passed away how our neighbours DD would be teased for her old fashioned name. The name is massively popular and she’s probably one of 5 in her class now. (Margot if you’re interested)

If you like your DDs name, which I happen to think is lovely. Keep it. Whatever you choose someone will ask if the name is a pet name/too old/bit dull/chavvy/anything else they can think up to say. Honestly fuck em all.

In The Simpson’s, Reverend Lovejoy pronounced it: jac kwa leen.

I'm not 100% sold on the name - and definitely not Jacqueline. BUT it has nothing to do with me or anyone else.
Saying that, I love the name Ree (or Ray) as you pronounce it so I would probably go down that route. And others I'm sure will dislike that suggestion. You'll never please everyone OP x

This x 100.

(Love the name Margot, @BrendaThePoodle!)

I love it, OP. The reactions are because it is unusual, not because it is bad in any way. My children have unusual names too, and I expect we get similar reactions. If I lacked etiquette, I'd be doing 'reactions' when someone told me their child was called something really dull and commonplace.
You like the name, your H loves it - I say embrace it, embrace being different. And you have good nickname options to pick from too. Even DJ is pretty cool.

Congratulations on your baby girl.

It's a nice name but I just associate it with a type of potato. It's a very nice type of potato though and good for stews :).

I do like my name being referred to as neutral and simple. In all my 36 years I have never found anything with it on badges mugs etc, and I have given up correcting people who call me Louise.

I deeply regret one of my name choices and I wish I had changed it. Do it.

Louisa is such a beautiful name.
So elegant and timeless.

Yes, it's a name heavily associated with the Swedish Royal Family. One of the current king's sisters was Princess Desiree (recently deceased). The Crown Princess of Sweden has Desiree as one of her names.

I think it's a lovely name.

Keep the name you like and then sing her You Gotta Be as her motivational song every day.

Not RTFT. What would you do?

I'd be thinking long and hard about whether or not I liked the name.
Do you feel you were forced into using the name?
Are your regrets based on people's reactions?

When you ask someone what their baby or child is called, they'll probably say 'That's lovely' or 'That's unusual'. Some rude people will pull a face or be negative.
The 'That's unusual' will be about any name that is not currently popular, so Jacqueline would probably get it too.
Amelia Grace, Ellie May or Lily Rose would probably be 'What a lovely name' because they wouldn't need to think about it.

When you are asked her name, how you come across will affect how people react. If you say 'Desiree' or 'Desiree Joy' in an upbeat way, they will respond far more positively.

Would you be happy if your daughter was called Jackie, Jacqui or Jac/Jack/Jax?

If you feel you are obsessing about the name, speak to your GP. It might be PPD.

I think it would take me a while to get used to the name but it's a refreshing change from the currently overused ones. I know children with names like Bernard, Jade and Arnold and you soon get used to the names.

I wouldn't let other people's reactions get in you head.

I gave my daughter a fairly common French name which has been in the top 100 for well over a decade.

My Mum said it was "hard to say" and she didn't like it (it's really not hard to say!) I've had countless people mispronounce it as the similar English version of the same name and also people confuse it with the German version. Also lots of people saying it's so unusual when it really isn't- she's met several other children with the same name at nursery and school.

Desiree is not a common name but it's certainly not unheard of and I'm surprised so many people on here claim not to know how it's pronounced.

The naming landscape has changed a lot since my own school years where there were multiple Sarahs, Sophies, Jessicas, Heathers, and Emilys in every school year- the "most popular" names are nowhere near as popular as the most popular names were in the 80s and 90s, now everyone has access to thousands of name choices and millions of people online. There's loads of "weird" names in my daughter's class and no-one cares.

Desiree Joy is beautiful. Love Daisy or Rae as a nn and DJ is great!

I really dislike Jacqueline and all its diminutives though. It’s very old fashioned and I don’t have good associations with those I know with the name.

O come on, don't be so ridiculous.

It may not have been your taste and wouldn't be made these days but at the time it was immensely popular and extremely successful show, and plenty of people with normal and, shock horror, even high IQs, watched and enjoyed it. So many catch phrases entered the language and everyone knew where they were from eg "I'm a lady", "computer says no" etc.

So if someone gets their Desiree association from there( and I'd completely forgotten until that poster mentioned it) then you just make yourself look like a dick by implying they're educationally subnormal.

It ruined the pink tracksuit… especially for bigger girls 20 years later and you’d still get called Vicky if you tried

Back in the 70s I had an American penpal called Desirae (slightly different spelling).

I think Desiree Joy is really lovely.

You're welcome.

Still plenty of time to change the name.

I'm sure if that poster just wanted to point out that was what the name brought to mind then she wouldn't have added the laughing face emoji. But she did.

So if she wants to quote a show which as you admitted wouldn't be made today and use it to mock a baby's name, then I don't think there is an issue with me comparing her to other people who do that.

Perhaps you know this but I don’t think many people realise that it isn’t possible to ‘change’ the name in the sense of completely removing the original name. The new name is added and the register amended. Desiree will always appear on OP’s DD’s full birth certificate.