I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

You can choose to not go on any date you want. For any reason you want. Trust your gut.

Red flag to me . Very presumptuous

You’re not overreacting.

Block and move on.

Also google the burned haystack dating method.

Enjoy a peaceful evening

YANBU. A comment like that before even meeting would be a turn off for me.

Yeah that would put me off too

Don’t blame you at all. It shows a lack of judgment apart from anything - you’ve given him no reason to assume you’d find that funny / appealing - so I’d be thinking it wouldn’t work for me. Either go with low expectations or cancel and save yourself the time/ effort. Sorry, how disappointing!

Cancel. That is very presumptuous of him.

Don't bother meeting with him. You thought you were chatting online with him while he thought he was flirting online with you - crossed wires.

Don't meet him. He's a creep.

Yeah, that’s grim.

Block and move on. He's obviously after one thing, and it's not a meaningful relationship. What a ridiculous response to your innocent comment about making pancakes.

sorry. deleted

Yuk.
Who do these men think they are?
And their warped view as to how they think women want to be approached.

I would reply: Suddenly lost all interest. Bye. And block

At best, he's being honest and indicating to you what he's hoping for - this is best because then you can use the information to make your decision. At worst, he's trying to come across in some way that he thinks he should - this is worse because he's misselling himself and thereby confusing matters. My now dh did this twice early on, but it was in person and verbal so I could see him being terribly awkward about it and it clearly wasn't "him" so I was able to let it go - 20 years on and I was right, he's been an absolute gem and a gentleman. Contrastly, someone I'd been on one date with, and afterward making it super clear that there would not be a futher date (he was nice, I didn't get anything negative from him but there was no lure/reason for me to see him again), but because of the amount of contact before the meetup he was aware of an event I had coming up. He got in touch to ask how it was going, I messaged back that I had to miss it becuase of illness, and he offer to come over with nightnurse, look after me, and then "look after me". Red flag.

I’ve just replied “Bit presumptuous of you no? We haven’t even met yet. I know you’re joking but chill on the sex remarks.” and agreed to a time he’d suggested to me, (he suggested an hour later than planned) and asked if he was having a busy today.

His reaction will tell me everything I need to know. If he leads with the typical “it was only a joke chill out” then forget it I’ll be home for the evening.

Thanks for the responses so far, I don’t like asking my friends because I feel they’re don’t always give entirely honest advice and like to say things to make me feel better.

It’s awkward and weird, if you’re getting cold feet on account of it that’s fine.

I will say that it’s possibly just a very cringe attempt to flirt so if all else is / was good I might give him the benefit.

”Lift you in bed” is so peculiar, I’ve got an image of him grimacing as he raises you overhead.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks.

TBF to him, presumably you are dating in the hope that things will progress to sex?

I think he's made a joke that's landed badly, possibly even one that he thinks you lined up for him with all the talk of protein.

”Lift you in bed” is so peculiar, I’ve got an image of him grimacing as he raises you overhead.

My ick is getting stronger 😂😂

Gross. They just can't help themselves can they.

Bin.

He could be a creep or he could be making stupid jokes out of nerves. I think you have handled it perfectly and agree that his response will tell you all you need to know. Hope he comes back with a face palm and an apology!

I think your response is very forgiving and aiming to make the peace. I would be very careful he doesn't see this as some kind of cat and mouse game. I'd have said I think it's best if we leave it, and blocked him.

That would totally put me off. See what he responds with and decide re the date.
If you go, you have set a reasonable boundary, see if he respects that.
If not, then bin him. You’re worth more than that.

TBF to him, presumably you are dating in the hope that things will progress to sex?

There’s a time and a place for everything, why is that so difficult to comprehend? I also hope to get married and have children one day with somebody, doesn’t mean I should start making ‘jokes’ about our kids names before we’ve even met though does it?

possibly even one that he thinks you lined up for him with all the talk of protein.

I wasn’t lining anything up, I train a lot at the gym I’m an ex semi-pro athlete, and he’s athletic too. It was general chit chat.

Why waste your time? He’s given you the ick.

This