I have a first date in a few hours, now he’s texted me something that’s put me off

[Jtfrtj]

I have a first date tonight with a man I’ve never met, we started talking online. He knows I’m very into cooking/baking, and just now while texting him I told him I made some protein pancakes. He asked if he could have some, I joked back that I would make him some, and because they’re protein pancakes they will make him strong. He replied “Strong so I can lift you in bed yeah 😏?”. I’ve never even met this man before. Now I feel that expectation and pressure for sex is there now and feel less excited about meeting him. It also feels very presumptuous of him, like he thinks because I’ve agreed to a date I’m up for sexual activity. I’ve not texted back yet because I’m not sure I want to go now.

For context; I have never made any sexual remarks towards him before or him to me, we have been talking for almost two weeks. I am conventionally attractive but I am not provocative in how I dress or how I present myself online. Most of my photos online are of my travel pictures, scenery and food etc. I don’t think I do anything to invite these remarks or give off the impression that I’d be into that so prematurely, but for some reason men will always try and initiate a conversation about sex before the first date. I’m getting tired of it. Am I overreacting?

Gen X'er here, plenty of online dating 14 years ago and a dick pick was already quite a creepy thing to get plus an imediate block, unsolicited dick pics haven't become an illegal thing for nothing. Inuendo was creepy too (unless you were on an adult website).

Of course he did! He’ll be cursing all women now as ‘prick teasers’

Urgh.
Good for you OP, lucky escape there.

The "calm down" because you set a boundary is worse than the initial comment tbh. Making sexual remarks to a woman then crying she's "hysterical" or "needs to calm down" is just a typical misogynistic man technique to try and take advantage then denounce all responsibility for making the woman uncomfortable, or worse.

Good call to sack him off. Hopefully he'll learn not to do it again, but somehow, I doubt it...

Result! Saved you doing it. Very well handled

@Jtfrtj confirmation that your instincts were bang on - don't doubt yourself next time - have your standards, have your boundaries and enforce them.. as they say - if you don't stand for something... you'll stand for anything.

I’d be tempted to have not responded to the calm down message and just stood him up xD

Damn missed a trick there 😂

Like some PPs I'd have thought you were referring to making pancakes for breakfast tomorrow thus implying an overnight stay...thats by the by given his latter responses, you are well rid

I bet you are gutted! Not. A good choice not to meet him and I would have done the same. I often stick up for men on here because sometimes I think they all get bad press. However, in this case, why did he have to mention sex before you had even met. His second reply was patronising and stupid.
Have a lovely evening OP.

Thank you 😘

Well, I'm now looking at the high protein yoghurt in my fridge in a different light 😂 😂.
Well done, op

You didn’t disprove anything. I have been very happy in my relationship for fourteen plus years and have two amazing kids and didn’t adopt your strategy. I met lots of people. Had a brilliant time doing so and found two people who were wonderful and settled down with one of them.

Oh how awful. Thank goodness you didn’t meet him. What a patronising horror of a man. Ugh.

A dick pick was an excellent filtering mechanism for sure.

You said have high principles online and stay single

There you go. OP being referred to as ‘prick tease’ as I predicted

Whatever you do don’t dare mention to any male that you happen to own high protein yogurt, you’ll only be encouraging them and making them believe you want your way with them 😂 (according to some posters)

Jtfrtj
Are you willing to name the site you encountered this Romeo?

So light flirting with someone is an excuse for them to talk about sex?
Don’t be ridiculous! If I tell you I like your hat does that give you an excuse to bring up your cock? Of course not.

I weight train and he is an athlete, we talk training and protein previously, that was the context. You suggesting I’m a ‘prick tease’ says more about you than me ☺️

"presumably you are dating in the hope that things will progress to sex?"

Maybe she's getting to know him to see if she wants to keep seeing him with no expectation of sex straight away?

"possibly even one that he thinks you lined up for him with all the talk of protein."

Urgh. She didn't line him up for anything by mentioning protein pancakes FFS.

I wonder what proportion of posters on this thread are men.

" I think we used to use the expression "prick tease" at school..."

A disgusting victim-blaming expression!