AIBU for telling my son that who I date is none of his business?

[OneJollyTealLemur]

To keep it short, I was recently approached by a guy at the gym, and we just hit it off from the start. We're both really into working out, exercise in general, sports and that sort of thing. I'm having an absolute blast with him as my fitness buddy and boyfriend. The thing is, he's 27 and I'm 53. This past weekend, he was staying over at my place when my son turned up for a visit unannounced. I've kept this relationship private because I've never been one to make a big deal out of my dating life, so my son had no idea. To say my son wasn't happy about my new boyfriend would be an understatement. When we were alone, he said he'd really appreciate it if I ended things with this guy because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and weird. I told him that it was none of his business. He's 31, has a girlfriend and a life of his own, and he can do as he pleases, just as I can. He just scoffed and said, "Whatever." I've been thinking about the whole thing ever since, but I honestly can't see why I should have to justify my personal life to my fully grown son.

I can understand him being concerned, and upset. If I'd found my dm in bed with someone 25 years younger, I'd have been upset too, and never gone home again. You're his mum and he sees you in a certain way. That's inevitable.

That doesn't mean you are in the wrong. Maybe it's time to take away his key.

Why is he "embarrassed" - you aren't going on double dates with him and his GF presume you aren't doing PDA in front of his mates?

Tell him to get a life

Where does OP say her son "found him in her bed"????

Bit weird, but it's your life.

I mean he's got a point, it is fucking weird to be shagging someone younger than your kid.

A boyfriend is just a friend with enhancements. Surely it's good to have a friend, no matter what his age? It won't last forever. The time will come when he wants kids and a family, but enjoy it, however long it lasts. And tell your ds to butt out and mind his own beeswax.

You’re right that it’s none of your sons business who you date, however I can understand his distaste.

I was with you until I saw his age. (And your age.)

I can't really fathom why a young man of 27 would want to date a 53 year old woman sorry @OneJollyTealLemur That's a heck of an age gap, and it won't last. No reason why you can't have a bit of fun, but your son is right to be concerned IMO.

Yea catching you both in bed 69'ing must have been a shock to your DS tbf

You're making shit up.

Eh? Where did the OP say this?

Tbh I am with your son on this and I would be really concerned if you were my mum. I would feel the same if it was a man in his 50’s dating a woman in her 20’s.

Sorry that age gap is yuk

Yes I agree. If it was a 27 y.o. woman and a 53 y.o. man I would feel the same.

No. It's a bit weird. The age gap is too big.

Dating a man who is younger than your own son is a bit ick isn't it? In general it's none of your son's business who you date so yanbu on the overall principle, but stick to your own generation. The idea of having a step parent who is younger than their step-child is distasteful regardless of the sex of the various people involved.

The replies would be so different if you were a bloke.

It’s grim. I’m with your son. Would be one thing if the guy was older than your son, but he’s even young.

And quite honestly no self respecting 27 year old bloke wants a woman that much older unless; (A) he can’t get a woman his own age or, (B) he’s after money, or something else.

It's none of his business, but dating someone half your age is questionable. I also wouldn't be impressed by a parent running around with someone who's my junior. Seems a bit icky.
He'll get over it though.

You both have really good points to be honest but if I were you I wouldn’t want to alienate my own son but saying what you said to him. Perhaps a proper conversation with some understanding on both sides would be the thing to do. Because boyfriends come and go and let’s face it the 27 year old is definitely going to go but your son is there for life. You don’t want him excluding you from his life.

I think any adult would be unimpressed if any parent started dating someone younger than themselves.

Of course he's concerned, seeing a parent with someone half they age would be concerning, especially if this isn't your usual pattern of behaviour.

Yeah I’m with your son. I think dating someone younger than your kids is a bit gross. If I were him I would also be worried that this young man would be taking advantage of you.

No. The replies would not be different if the OP was a bloke and the 27 year old woman he was dating was 26 years younger. It's still grim whoever is the older one!

.

It isn’t the age gap for me but the fact your own son is older than the man you’re dating.

The other poster started it! 🤣

Euw

I’m on team son