AIBU for telling my son that who I date is none of his business?

[OneJollyTealLemur]

To keep it short, I was recently approached by a guy at the gym, and we just hit it off from the start. We're both really into working out, exercise in general, sports and that sort of thing. I'm having an absolute blast with him as my fitness buddy and boyfriend. The thing is, he's 27 and I'm 53. This past weekend, he was staying over at my place when my son turned up for a visit unannounced. I've kept this relationship private because I've never been one to make a big deal out of my dating life, so my son had no idea. To say my son wasn't happy about my new boyfriend would be an understatement. When we were alone, he said he'd really appreciate it if I ended things with this guy because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and weird. I told him that it was none of his business. He's 31, has a girlfriend and a life of his own, and he can do as he pleases, just as I can. He just scoffed and said, "Whatever." I've been thinking about the whole thing ever since, but I honestly can't see why I should have to justify my personal life to my fully grown son.

On one level I'm have fun it won't last, but given it's unlikely to last is it worth damaging a relationship with your child over. Just don't make your son call him Daddy.

Several people have actually said it’s fine! So yeah, read the replies before you quote me. 🙄

YABU, it’s very odd and inappropriate to be dating someone younger than your son. This 27 year old is using you.

Agree with this. It's not his business, but I would find it really uncomfortable. Which would mean in my case that I would be in contact less.

As you say, you both have your own lives.

So op if you son (or daughter if there was onel) was in this type of situation would you have no opinion at all?

Fine for you to be having fun with someone younger, fine for him to be unhappy about it.

Nobody's is in the wrong but nobody has to be happy about the other's position.

Op, when you were 30, how would you have felt if your DM was in a relationship with a 27 year old? Or is that "totally different" and ridiculous...?

Of course its not his call. But I think many woukd find it icky.

It is gross but who cares, it's your life and it's none of your son's business

Enjoy the short term, if what you are after is sex and some fun, but be prepared for the "I've met someone else" or "I just need to borrow a few pounds to sort things out" or "When I move in you will put me on the deeds won't you?" speech at some point.

Odd,that is way way too young .. but you do you ..

OP I take it you’d be absolutely fine if a 62 year old woman was dating your son?

He can't expect you to end tge relationship because he is embarrassed, but surely you can understand why he is?

For the people saying the young man is using the OP, it's also entirely possible the OP is the user. I can't imagine she's at a disadvantage, soaking up that young man's (possible) virility/basking in the knowledge she can 'pull a young un'..

LOL, I wonder if the OP will come back and answer this!

I'm not surprised your DS has a problem with it - this bloke is younger than he is! I'd have been disgusted if either of my parents was shagging someone younger than me.

No point asking, she will say it’s fine regardless to support her own view

Repugnant.

Of course your son is disgusted. Anyone with the slightest hint of morals would be.

I don't care if you are a man or a woman, if you want to sleep with someone younger than your own children you are a creep.

Honestly, I'd have been happy that my mum still had it. Unfortunately, my mum is the sort of woman who's aged prematurely because of a controlling, abusive husband.

Probably not.

It isn't your son's business but it is absolutely grim that you are shagging a guy younger than him. Imagine a father shagging a girl younger than his daughter....it's no different.

I agree.

He’s probably concerned you are going to get hurt, or scammed, or both.

It’s the dating someone younger than your own son that’s questionable. No one thinks a man dating a woman younger than his own daughter is a good thing. This is the same. Technically yes it’s not his business, but on every other level he rightly finds it unsavoury. You’re old enough to be his mother and that rarely goes down well with family.

So sleeping with anything is ok if 'have it' sure dont care what your child thinks but what kind of life have they been raised in?

At 31? He could date a 100-year-old for all I care. He's a grown man.