AIBU for telling my son that who I date is none of his business?

[OneJollyTealLemur]

To keep it short, I was recently approached by a guy at the gym, and we just hit it off from the start. We're both really into working out, exercise in general, sports and that sort of thing. I'm having an absolute blast with him as my fitness buddy and boyfriend. The thing is, he's 27 and I'm 53. This past weekend, he was staying over at my place when my son turned up for a visit unannounced. I've kept this relationship private because I've never been one to make a big deal out of my dating life, so my son had no idea. To say my son wasn't happy about my new boyfriend would be an understatement. When we were alone, he said he'd really appreciate it if I ended things with this guy because he finds the whole thing embarrassing and weird. I told him that it was none of his business. He's 31, has a girlfriend and a life of his own, and he can do as he pleases, just as I can. He just scoffed and said, "Whatever." I've been thinking about the whole thing ever since, but I honestly can't see why I should have to justify my personal life to my fully grown son.

It's a bit grim that he's younger than your son.

Lucky you!!

This.

Your son is probably wondering at which point you started being sexually attracted to his peers.

I agree whataboutery like contesting someone being vulnerable due to their age is unhelpful especially when you know vulnerability is not defined by age.

Your son needs to mind his own business. A gap between consenting adults is their business alone and 27 is very much a grown adult with agency.

I'm not randomly attracted to every man that happens to share my DH's birth year, are you?

Enjoy it as a bit of fun because how can it possibly last, would you even want it to? It is strange for a young man to want to bed a woman so much older than himself. Some lovely young gym bunny will soon come along and he will move on. I can understand why it would give your son cause for embarrassment. It is a bit icky.

After reading other posts, I realise how this could end up badly. Does he come from the UK? There could be so many ulterior motives. Please be aware that you may be a means to an end and at the very least become a disrespectful laugh between him and his mates.

By the way, it works for Joan Collins.

Good old Percy.

If you were my friend and you told me you were having sex with a 27yo you met at the gym, I’d be thinking “good for you, enjoy it!”. If you told me you were in a relationship with a 27yo you met at the gym, I’d be horrified and worried and would be seriously questioning your judgement. What on earth could come
of this that wouldn’t end up being completely dysfunctional? No dating/relationship in this situation would end well.

Your son is right. If it’s just sex you should have been discreet, taken your key away from your son and never mentioned it to him. No matter how old the child, some things shouldn’t cross the parent-child boundary (or any boundary in any relationship).

@OneJollyTealLemur
I say good luck to you!
You both realistically know its probably not forever
So enjoy the time you have together,
And your son will just have to suck it up won't he? because
He's a big boy now.

Oh that obviously makes you more attractive than other 53 year olds then 🥱 two bizarre agendas you’re pushing now and we’re still not buying it.