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Girls weekend potentially ruined

211 replies

PumpkinQueen24 · Today 14:48

So im a mum of two (oldest 14) and have never ever left my kids to go away with friends, hardly ever go out. Me and 3 friends decided to book a weekend away for one of their birthdays. Friday-sunday abroad. We booked it a year ago and iv been so so excited to go. Now all my in laws live 8 hours away and father in law hasn't been well with substance abuse, has been going on for years and has gotten worse. Husband has turned round and said he might have to go there next week to help his family out, with it being 8 hours to get there he would be gone at least 3 days, last time was a week. I reminded him im going away and has said well you might need to sort out childcare for them...my family live 2 hours away so if he does go then im gna have to cancel my weekend away. I can't help but feel angry and disappointed. I never put myself first and finally decided to do something for myself and now I might not be able to go. I havent voiced any of this to him as I feel selfish for even thinking this as hes going through alot with his family. But there's always drama with his family as both his parents have struggled with addiction which is why we dont see them alot. He can't even go the following week to see them as we have booked a holiday for half term.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · Today 17:56

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · Today 14:51

I bet your husband is the reason you have never had a night away from the kids

This.

you are going away.

Full stop.

he can go this weekend to help and if he needs to go when your away and he has some charge if the kids then he needs to sort childcare out.

Simple.

ManchesterGirl2 · Today 17:58

He needs to sort childcare. Why should that responsibility default to you, when he is the one changing the plan at the last minute. Unless it's a genuine family emergency, he's not respecting you.

Londonwelshie · Today 18:14

Put your foot down- you’re going away and that’s that. He sorts childcare or takes the kids with him. If he’s kicking off or doesn’t agree, quietly leave for your holiday (stay with a friend) one day before he is due to travel, without telling him in advance.

That will force him to step up and arrange the logistics for childcare for once, and simultaneously allow you to enjoy your long overdue and first girls holiday since being a mum.

zingally · Today 18:16

How "convenient" that DH has to go away the exact weekend that mum, who never goes away, has a short holiday booked with friends. I mean, what are the chances?!

Bumcake · Today 18:21

zingally · Today 18:16

How "convenient" that DH has to go away the exact weekend that mum, who never goes away, has a short holiday booked with friends. I mean, what are the chances?!

Exactly! It’s clear as day what he’s up to.

You have to go on your break, he can go and visit his father any time and you both know that.

somanychristmaslights · Today 18:22

Nah, HE needs to sort the childcare.
is what he says actually true, or is he manipulating to make sure you don’t go away?

AutumnWarm · Today 18:23

Don’t you dare cancel!!!

If he needs to go that desperately he can take the kids with him. Trust me he won’t go. Call his bluff.

Bepo77 · Today 18:25

He knows what he's doing. You absolutely must go, OP.

JLou08 · Today 18:25

Why haven't you voiced it? Stand your ground ,tell him he is having the children as you will be away for the first time in 14+ years. He sounds like a selfish twat.

CatSquirrelDuck · Today 18:28

Tell him he will be staying home with his children or organising proper childcare for them himself.

Die on that hill.

Arsehole.

MrsJPBP · Today 18:31

He simply isn’t available to go and visit them this weekend. He’s looking after his kids. If he feels he has to go, he either takes them with him or he sorts an alternative. You are away, end of.

Hopefully he’s just been thoughtless but I think it’s clear he’s a twat who is trying to sabotage you. Only you know the difference. Don’t you dare cancel!!

MyFavouriteGame · Today 18:35

No, he needs to sort childcare. You’re away, he’s the one who’s chosen this weekend not to be there. Do not cancel!

openended · Today 18:38

Why is it so important that he goes up to see them this particular weekend? I would say that you have plans and so childcare was his responsibility. Now he is changing the goalposts it is his responsibility to sort out. So he either doesn't go or phones and asks if your parents can stay with the kids for the weekend or takes them to theirs.

I agree with others that it very much does seem like sabotage. You shouldn't cancel and absolutely should voice your disappointment in his behaviour. Being passive will only lead to resentment, stand your ground.

OffTheMap · Today 18:40

I would be letting him know that he might need to sort childcare as you’d arrangement is longstanding.

However I would also ask if they could stay with respective friends.

MrsJeanLuc · Today 18:42

Like everyone else I'm fuming on your behalf @PumpkinQueen24 .

But I don't understand, what's so difficult about saying "John, you do remember I am going away next weekend? If you want to go to your parents you will need to arrange childcare or take them with you."?

Why you are being so passive about this?

ChaToilLeam · Today 18:44

A decent man would say "you go on your trip, you've been planning it for a year, enjoy yourself, I'll work something out".

Why isn't he saying that?

Junglejune · Today 18:44

It’s a hard no from me. He’ll have to sort something out because you’re going on your holiday that was booked a year ago. He can call social services and tell them to support his parents until he can sort something out.

YourKeenMauveJoker · Today 18:48

Very convenient.
Your plans are a year old, he needs to sort childcare. I would make sure I leave the house before he does, then he has to solve the issue!

ThatLilacTiger · Today 18:57

You've had plans booked for a year before him so he's the one who needs to find childcare for his children because his plans have suddenly changed.

backformoreofthesame · Today 18:59

He takes the kids or finds childcare or doesn’t go

lots of choices

Anonanonay · Today 19:01

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · Today 14:51

I bet your husband is the reason you have never had a night away from the kids

This. What a coincidence he books his trip to ruin yours. C*nt.

SmashThePatriarchy · Today 19:02

Please don’t make yourself a martyr in this. Tell him they’re his responsibility and to get on with it.

BigBadPotato · Today 19:05

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · Today 14:51

I bet your husband is the reason you have never had a night away from the kids

☝️
He is just making sure you don’t go op. It’s nothing to do with helping his dad, and all about hindering your plans.

Hadalifeonce · Today 19:05

Tell him it's his responsibility to decide whether to go to his parent's, or sort out childcare as you are away.

BillieWiper · Today 19:09

OP, why have you not come back once or responded to a single comment?

I am scared of being banned for 'troll hunting' when I question these rage bait seeming threads that people do and then vanish into thin air. So just to be clear, I am just asking OP why she's not come back. Not hunting anything.