Husband enabled me to embarrass myself

[HiyaWishy]

Husband was sat on the couch with his earphones in playing a game on his phone. He often wears earphones, not just when on a phonecall.
He's got the dog next to him.
I go over, fuss the dog and ask him if he's showering today as he doesn't shower every day. I've no idea why, it gives me the ick. Last week we made a point of making an effort to have sex. I actually said "you've not showered since Saturday. It's Wednesday today. It's not conducive to you having a shag." His response "yeah, I'm sure Bob really wanted to know that'"
He was on the phone!!! I am mortified!!!
I know Bob and have been to his house, know his family.

We've been together 20 years and have two older teenagers.

YABU: I should have checked before talking that he wasn't on the phone

YANBU: He could have prevented that whole situation and if he wanted a shag, he'd shower and instigate it rather than leaving it to me to manage (like everything else).

Shouldn’t he be mortified that Bob knows he’s gone 4 days without showering??

The only person there who should be embarrassed is the grown man who washes so infrequently and now his friend knows he has to be parented by his own wife.

It’s good that Bob heard, as now Bob knows your DH is a dirty guy (not in the fun way).

I've no idea why, it gives me the ick
You’ve no idea why? Really?

Nothing embarrassing about wanting to shag your own husband (but only if clean). Massive embarrassment at not showering in 4 days!

Agree with PP that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure Bob is aware that after 20 years of marriage and a couple of kids, you will have had sex - at least twice.

Your husband, on the other hand, should be mortified at having his poor hygiene brought into the light. Yuck.

How could he have known you were going to launch into a comment about his personal hygiene and your sex life in that moment before you did so? Power of hindsight and all that.

Don’t be embarrassed OP. It’s definitely your DH who should be embarrassed that his mate now knows he’s a dirty soap dodger!! And yep, I totally don’t blame you for getting the ick, I wouldn’t let DH near me if he hadn’t showered for several days 🤢

I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who didn’t shower daily.

I wouldn’t be mortified, but he should be!! He doesn’t shower every day?! I wouldn’t even sleep NEXT to him nevermind with him! Does he “forget” to brush his teeth before bed as well? Why are men so grooosssssss

I've no idea why, it gives me the ick. Not I've not idea why it gives me the ick.

So I've no idea why he doesn't shower.
Not I've no idea why him not showering gives me the ick.

I’d have joined in the conversation with him and Bob and asked Bob to also nag him to have a shower!!!

I agree with everyone else.
DH should be the one that is embarrassed

You’ve got way bigger problems, your husband is vile. Always wearing headphones and doesn’t shower? Fuck that. You get one life, stop wasting it with a loser.

If Bob is a decent guy he probably thinks your H is disgusting for not showering regularly, and if Bob is not a decent guy who cares what he thinks 🤷‍♀️

But you do realise that your H not keeping on top of his hygiene is indicative of his contempt for you?

This isn’t a healthy marriage and I’d put money on the lack of showers being just one of a thousand things your H does to disrespect you.

Pretty sure this is how he feels. He's taken the dogs out.

Are you familiar with commas and their usage?

OP, was he definitely on the phone, or was he just trying to rile you?

This specific incident isn’t worth a second thought. Why you’re in a marriage with a man who doesn’t wash and habitually wears headphones is more concerning.

Scruffy, dirty bastard! He should be the one mortified. Not you! I couldn’t (wouldn’t!!) even be in the same room, never mind bed, as someone who is so utterly disgusting! 🤢 What a pig!

Separate rooms. I've made myself all cosy and snug in the tiny box room. Got my books next to me and a little salt lamp. Absolutely love it! ❤️

Men are just gross. Myself and DD16 call them penisheads.

Properly laughed at this!! 😂

Respectfully, OP, men as a group aren’t ‘gross’, if by ‘gross’ you mean ‘don’t wash’. You just married a minger.

Was he embarrassed that his friend now knows that he is a soap dodger?! Your husband should be embarrassed. I'm surprised you still want sex with this man when his hygiene is so sporadic.

Sorry, OP, but this was funny 😂
Anyway, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about, he does.

He absolutely did shower before we married. I would not have married someone who didn't. Something has happened. Or not?
But yes, it's minging and I should not have to parent an adult. And this thread is exactly what I needed to hear.