Husband enabled me to embarrass myself

[HiyaWishy]

Husband was sat on the couch with his earphones in playing a game on his phone. He often wears earphones, not just when on a phonecall.
He's got the dog next to him.
I go over, fuss the dog and ask him if he's showering today as he doesn't shower every day. I've no idea why, it gives me the ick. Last week we made a point of making an effort to have sex. I actually said "you've not showered since Saturday. It's Wednesday today. It's not conducive to you having a shag." His response "yeah, I'm sure Bob really wanted to know that'"
He was on the phone!!! I am mortified!!!
I know Bob and have been to his house, know his family.

We've been together 20 years and have two older teenagers.

YABU: I should have checked before talking that he wasn't on the phone

YANBU: He could have prevented that whole situation and if he wanted a shag, he'd shower and instigate it rather than leaving it to me to manage (like everything else).

Initially I thought Bob was the dog!

Close. Dog's called Bert!

No, she embarrassed him.

This! 😳

You potentially embarrassed him more I would of thought. I don't see why you need to be embarrassed. I wouldn't be married that long to a man who showers so infrequently. He needs to up his game.

This

"I'm sure Bob didnt want to hear that"
"Maybe your friends need to hear you are a tramp and cant get sex anymore because you stink"

Simple, to the point and lets Bob know your DH is gross.

But does he smell is he actually dirty?
my dad used to shower or have a bath twice a week NEVER smelt
think it went back to his military days where they had a proper good wash

And this !

I don't think there is a drip feed? I genuinely have reflected and can't see one.
Box room became practical after I went through a phase of not sleeping so was keeping him awake and then him snoring was disturbing me. So it seemed daft to both be sleep deprived. I don't love anybody enough to go without sleep. Not even the dogs.

😂

Why are you with this lazy, dirty man?

To be fair. He genuinely doesn't. If I went that long, I would hum. Absolutely hum. But he doesn't smell. I would be brutally honest and tell him if he did.

You should have checked he wasn't on the phone - YABU.

That said - your husband sounds gross.

All men aren't disgusting penisheads.

MOST men aren't disgusting penisheads.

Your man is, however, a disgusting penishead.

I would say you were the one who embarasses your dh, not the other way round.was he not speaking to 'Bob'?

My husband never smells either. He does shower every day - but. If he's been to the gym and is sweaty, or on holiday, or working outside doing heavy work, he never, ever smells.

This is defo not you who needs to be embarrassed.

We've already explained this one. @AutumnWarm missed the comma. @jella corrected them. @SevenYellowHammers rightfully stated it should have been a semi colon really.

It's embarrassing to you that you're with a stinky bloke?

Or it's embarrassing to your husband that now his mate knows he doesn't wash?

I'd say it's not remotely embarrassing to you for someone to overhear that you have no desire to have sex with someone with a smelly grubby penis. So it's him who should be ashamed not you?!

If I am on the phone with earphones on and someone talks to me, the person I am talking to doesn't hear. I know because I am often talking to my sister or mum and one of the dc comes in and says hi and the person I'm talking to doesn't hear at all unless I put it on speaker.

Are you sure Bob heard and that this is not your husband using it against you?

So you are now sleeping OK?
Did you work together to cure his snoring?

Most married couples like to sleep together.
At least for part of the night.

In any case you said you came here to unpick this.

I don't think so. You just came for a whinge. Congrats. Yet another tedious hygiene thread.

I think as unhygienic as he is, you're not much better coming here to complain about him.

You've obviously got complete contempt for him. We don't know why but the lack of showers is probably just a side issue.

Just leave him for goodness sake.

If with a partner, I bet Bob went and had a shower when their call ended... maybe the penny dropped that women don't like stinking men?! Public service, that's what you provided!

The shame belongs to your husband. It's just one of those unfortunate things, him being on a call but it's also quite funny. Don't worry OP, brush it all off and laugh :-)

your husband embarrassed himself not you. He also sounds revolting, if you have to remind him to shower and conduct basic hygiene I wonder what else you have to pick up around the house for him

“Men are just gross”

They’re really not. Some men are not gross at all. They shower daily for a start.

I think it’s sad that some women and girls actually believe men as a whole are gross. There are some decent (and clean) men out there. Women and girls should set their bar higher. I could not be with someone who doesn’t shower for 4 days or brush their teeth twice daily (there’s endless posts about men’s hygiene!).

To be fair on @AutumnWarm it is an incorrect use of a comma. It does make the meaning less clear when reading it fast.