Husband enabled me to embarrass myself

[HiyaWishy]

Husband was sat on the couch with his earphones in playing a game on his phone. He often wears earphones, not just when on a phonecall.
He's got the dog next to him.
I go over, fuss the dog and ask him if he's showering today as he doesn't shower every day. I've no idea why, it gives me the ick. Last week we made a point of making an effort to have sex. I actually said "you've not showered since Saturday. It's Wednesday today. It's not conducive to you having a shag." His response "yeah, I'm sure Bob really wanted to know that'"
He was on the phone!!! I am mortified!!!
I know Bob and have been to his house, know his family.

We've been together 20 years and have two older teenagers.

YABU: I should have checked before talking that he wasn't on the phone

YANBU: He could have prevented that whole situation and if he wanted a shag, he'd shower and instigate it rather than leaving it to me to manage (like everything else).

Oh he sounds like a great catch...

Crusty pants is the only person who should be embarrassed. Yuck. I couldn’t have him sleeping in my bed. Tell him that people are not stupid and notice the unwashed in their circle, he’s not hiding a secret, it’s obvious that he doesn’t wash regularly.
Five days is rank unless he is too ill to take a shower.

I think we need an update!

Showering could now have become coded foreplay.

Exactly. I walk a lot, and tend to have 2 showers a day some days. (One in the morning when I get up, and then one after walking/exercise.) Even 3 showers some days in the very hot weather. #SorryNotSorry.

My first shower will be 5-7 minutes, depending on if I am washing my hair, and the subsequent ones will be 2-3 minutes, just to freshen up and get the sweat off. We have energy saving everything in our house, and have always shared a car, and recycle as much as possible, so I am not apologising for sometimes having more than 1 shower a day.

I have lovely soft smooth skin. It's nonsense that having a shower a day - or more than 1, will dry out your skin, and damage it.

You don't need to be embarrassed, he should be embarrassed! Now his mate knows he's a filthy minger 😂

It might be relevant.

Is he suffering from mental health issues?

when did you start sleeping separately? Did he feel this was a point of rejection, at which point he stopped making any effort for you?

not criticising you btw, I am in a long term marriage and it’s hard. We still share a bed but rarely have sex anymore (illness, stress and exhaustion all to blame - but also my libido is generally shot, I fancy him in theory, eg still like the way he looks, but not in practice apparently)

A fair few of them are though. I started this thread a couple of days ago as the fact threads similar to this kept popping up got me thinking about this very subject!https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5585495-have-you-had-male-partnersfriends-who-smellhave-bad-hygiene?reply=155157600

Ohh I am so jealous at the idea of being able to have a 5 minute shower that includes a hair wash!!

I shower most days and can go for two or three a day in a heatwave, but hair washing is a different thing 🤣

I agree with previous posters but to decribe ALL men as Gross is wrong to say the least. I hope this mishap encourages him to become more hygenic.

He should be the one who's embarrassed about being gross and unclean. You said something private in a private space and it's weird of him not to make it clear that he's on a phonecall.

Yeah.. literally an excuse to be a stinker

With respect OP,she must be interacting with the wrong men.

I disagree - I have never been close to any man who doesn’t shower frequently or has disgusting personal hygiene. You see it on here, and I wonder who puts up with this shit!

I really hope she isn't interacting with 'men' when it comes to getting close and personal - she's 16.
It's normal isn't it at this age, the silly insults and having a laugh? Stinky boys and all that. With big brothers am pretty sure I'd have said the same as a 16 year old. I stole 'smeg head' from Red Dwarf to describe a lot of chaps!

Do not shag the man today/tonight. He’s having a sulk, let him sulk in his own bed on his own. Gross that he doesn’t shower everyday. Good that you’ve embarrassed him enough to take a bloody shower though.

SevenYellowHammers I think I love you

😂

I find people who shower infrequently really hard to understand. I hate, hate, hate it if I can't jump straight into the shower when I get out of bed in the morning for some reason, and as for going for days without...

Sleeping separately is more common than you think. I wouldn't share a bed with anyone and my husband still gives me butterflies 🙄

OP ignore the pickers of crap you're getting on your thread, they need a hobby . Your husband has shown himself up to his mate for being a scruffy fucker who can't get laid because of it. It's nothing for you to feel embarrassed about.

A healthy person does not need to shower daily in order to stay reasonably clean and not smell.

Twice per week is perfectly adequate, unless doing something to get dirty or particularly sweaty.

This thread has so many examples of bad grammar/typos. I can't help thinking that some of it is AI or posters doing it on purpose.
'Of' for 'Have' etc.

Your marriage sounds dead tbh

I think that you're in the minority.
I don't care, nevertheless, you are in the minority.

Obviously the OP has contempt for her dh and should leave.

He may have crusty bits, she's mean-spirited inviting further contempt for him from random people here.
What for? It's obviously not acceptable not to shower for so long.

I don't know the full story because yet again this is a tedious hygiene thread.

@StripyShirt

ew, no.

just Shower. It’s really not that hard.