Half cringing. Half admiring. Turning up at wedding after being uninvited.

[SlothsRUs]

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

Hotel should have called the police and had them removed!!! Appalling behaviour!

Depends though whether you think the brother is behaving badly wanting his stepson included at a wedding he was meant to be best man for!

I agree it’s a shame they made the day about them but agree with OP that I admire their balls and can understand their morals behind it.

While I think it's was mean to exclude the stepson and the grooms brother had every right to feel upset, I can't agree with what they did. The poor son and stepson, what a horrible position to put two kids in just to make a point. It just makes them look petty to be honest, trying (and probably succeeding) to ruin a family members wedding.

Brother and Groom awful people. They did this to the kids.

I’m just trying to get my head round this. Groom’s brother has an ex-partner and son, but also a wife and step-son. The groom’s biological son invited, but step son not invited.
Was the ex-partner invited?

i can see the groom’s brother was in an awkward position trying to treat both son and step son as equals…but wtf!

YABU to seem to be relishing this & enjoying the drama.

The brother was hurt, the stepson presumably knows he was unwelcome, the groom undoubtedly feels like shit, the Mother of the groom was upset and the bride's wedding day has been eclipsed by gossip.

It sounds really horrible for everyone actually involved.

Why was the 12 year old actual son / nephew crying?

Does he not get on with the stepson?
Was he hoping he could get away from him at the wedding?

Going to the Church and sitting quietly at the back - fine. It is a public event, anyone can go in and I can understand why someone might want to see their brother married even if not on the best of terms. But I think they should have slipped away as soon as the service was over and going to the reception was totally out of order. I can't see any motivation behind that other than to cause disruption to the couple and wider family and there is nothing admirable about it. The brother made his point when he stepped down as best man and I think that was a reasonable thing to do, but it shpuld have ended there.

It was a stupid time waster.
Fair enough stepping away from the role, turning up to cause upset was foolish at best.

I think the ex best man’s son was invited, but his step son wasn’t.

Ex best man tried to stop his son going to the wedding but presumably the boys mother took him.

Ex best man then turned up to the church with step son and new partner/ wife ( which they are technically allowed as anyone can witness a church wedding.)

They then turned up at the reception venue and upset the grooms mother and the ex best man’s son.

Not very dignified, and not a positive experience for either of the children. I think there is a difference between making a point and acting spitefully .

Weddings are public events, anyone is supposed to be able to attend, otherwise the bit where they ask "if anyone knows of a lawful reason why these two people should not be joined" would be pointless and invalid because you'd just be able to exclude anyone who might be able to object. The uninvited would have done nothing wrong so long as he hadn't also tried to get into the reception, which can legitimately be private for invitees only.

Disgraceful behaviour from the groom’s brother. If he wants to express disappointment in the groom’s decision regarding inviting his stepson there’s a time and a place for it, and it’s not at the wedding.

Why would you want to force yourself into an environment where you’re not wanted, even if it was to prove a point? And showing up to the church in casual clothes. Shameless chavvy behaviour.

Also, grooms brother has demonstrated he couldnt give a flying fuck about his own brother, it was never about wanting everyone he loved there to celebrate a joyful day, because if he actually cared about his brother he simply would not have done this knowing full well it would cause upset and gossip and draw focus - it was all about him and his ego.

Once again I say ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ and that just because step child didn’t get invited doesn’t mean the step dad can behave like a twat.

But a very tiny part of me is pleased to see a dad stick up for a partner and child. I know it’s wrong but I read about so many men who don’t stick up for their family.

Nobody comes out of this looking good. It was hugely divisive and graceless not to invite the brother‘s stepson in the first place (unless it was a deliberately small wedding with a handful of guests, which doesn’t seem to be the case). But given that he/they weren‘t invited, it was equally graceless and petty of the brother to throw his toys out of the pram and try to ruin the wedding. What a family!

The uninvited did nothing wrong

Can only imagine the calibre of person you are if you truly believe this.

Same, who is the nephew and who is the son who was stopped from attending?

They are married, not just shagging.

Families come in many different forms.

Did the ex drop the 12yo off then? So he and MIL both cried when they saw the groom's brother. Was it embarrassment/anxiety do you think? Or were they upset he wasn't included?

presumably the boys mother took him

I bet she did.

What little boy? I thought you said the son was 12. Why was he distraught?

Horrible behaviour from everyone in the family.

Yep. Nobody in this story comes off with any dignity, and none of them are thinking about the actual welfare of the kids involved.

All a bunch of posturing, point-scoring idiots on both sides.

They aren't brothers

And the award for the most convoluted OP goes to…