Half cringing. Half admiring. Turning up at wedding after being uninvited.

[SlothsRUs]

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

Fair play to them.

Is the step-son a child that lives with them?

Christ. So they were willing to basically ruin the wedding for everyone? I actually think that's terrible. If they wanted to make a stand then do that by not going not by turning up and therefore making yourself the centre of everything.

Wrong though to make it about them. Not the time and place to protest. Because thats what it was, however much he tried dressing it up as wanting to be on the periphery. If i was the groom and my brother had ruined the day by behaving so badly i would never speak to him again. Twattish behaviour.

I'm confused, so brother of the groom stepped down as best man due to his stepson not being invited, then turned up at the church and hotel with his wife and stepson? And stood around at the hotel entrance for four hours?

and the groom had tried to stop his own son from going to the wedding? Was it a child free wedding out of curiosity?

It is horrendous behaviour, I don't understand why the vote is so close or the other posters are celebrating it.

The bride and groom should be able to invite whomever they want.

If they are dicks about who they invite then the only acceptable course of action is to stay away.

Jeez, I wouldn't admire that. Ok, choose not to go in solidarity but to intentionally gate crash is appalling

I’m not sure what I think tbh. In an ideal world the stepson would have been included, but not everyone has the same criteria for what makes a ‘family.’

How old is the nephew and why was he being comforted by ushers? How old is the stepson and was he old enough to know it is odd to hover in entrance for hours if a venue where h was not invited?

Making his own DM cry outside the church in her DS’ wedding? All a bit shit as it wasn’t her fault her step-grandson wasn’t invite, I presume.

Either attend or decline a wedding, but hovering with children to make a post just seems a bit off to me.

Askandyforcompo

DH and his family agrees with you and my logical side does too but couldn’t help admire him.

Groom’s family feel he upset his own son who cried when he saw him at hotel.

At breakfast the consensus was that he could have come to church on own without wife and stepson.

How old is the stepson? If he's a child, it's really unfair to put him in that situation.

Anyone can turn up to the ceremony though. At least they didn't object when the time came.

I actually think anyone can attend a church wedding can't they? To go to the church part would have been enough of a statement IMO. It kind of borders on harassment to hang around the reception for 4 hours. Although the groom was probably unreasonable to not include the stepson.

Agree with this. My partner was excluded from my brothers wedding and to be honest both brother and his now wife totally ignored me three days before the wedding anyway so I did not feel in the least bit invited myself. My parents tried to push me to even just go to the ceremony itself which would have meant my partner driving me there and waiting outside to collect me which would have put the attention on that instead so we just did not go at all. I was gutted not to feel wanted but by the same token it was their day so did not want to have any attention on anyone but them. I think turning up in casual clothing to the church is very petty. If you want to prove a point then just do not go but do not try ruin such an occasion for the couple out of spite.

Im sure it’s me, but your 3rd and 4th paragraph aren’t clear to me?

What a stupid thing to do. Especially if this stepson is a child, it’s a horrible position to put them in.

I think not inviting your brother’s stepson is a bit shitty, unless there’s something going on we’re not aware of. But that isn’t at all an excuse to turn up at the church!

The groom invited his own nephew but nephew’s father tried to stop him going . He looked about 12. He was distraught when he saw his dad at hotel.

Stepnephew looked about 9/10 and I don’t know if he lives full time with stepdad.

I agree with your post, it's kind of 'shameless' behaviour even though that's an old fashioned concept these days when 'anything goes'. They are bullies really.
Saying that I think it was mean-spirited not to invite the step son and the bride and groom did not handle this well.

Sounds like a bunch of horrible people : both the bride and groom for excluding the stepson even though other family children were invited, and the brother and his wife for causing a scene at someone else's wedding, and for making a fuss in the first place. It wouldn't have killed brother to attend with his DW and leave the child with someone else. All this point scoring is ridiculous.
I might add that I have been married for 35 years, but still managed to attend a family wedding without my spouse just this last weekend, as did several of my cousins. It was fine.

Im a little confused.

So the guy who is getting married - his brother stepped down as best man as brothers step son wasnt invited? Is that right?

Where does grooms own son come into this?

Fuck all to admire about this.

In the process of trying to be some kind of hero it sounds like he has really upset his actual son. He just sounds like a bully really, and there is nothing admirable about that.

Wait, so the brothers own son was invited, but his stepson wasnt, and he succeeded in making the whole situation so stressful that he made his own child cry? He's an absolute fucking dick.
For what its worth - as a child of a blended family, i think its really bloody weird when people try and insist that other people consider someone as 'family' just because they've started shagging them/their parent. I have lost count of how many people have tried to insist my parents partner is my stepparent and have got offended on my behalf when im not included in things, or I dont include them in things. Guess who decides if someone is my 'family'? ME. Its nothing to do with anyone else. The father has behaved like a petulant little child.

The groom does not have a son.

The groom’s brother has a son and the groom’s brother tried to stop his own son going because stepson wasn’t invited.
This little boy was distraught when he saw dad with stepmother and her son at hotel.

Twattish behaviour all round. Behaviour is shocking but then so is not inviting step son but inviting his brother. Just dessert's really.

The brothers family all should have avoided it though and just not spoken to them again.

Groom's brother sounds like an arrogant and self absorbed cock to do that to a couple on their wedding day, as well as the wuder family

Sounds like there is a big backstory here if the wider family had to intervene to ensure the nephew attended. Was the second wife an affair partner and now thinks her son should be seen and treated as an equal grandchild?