Page 8 | AIBU to snap after DH dragged out simple holiday hotel advice?

Diagno · 2026-10-01T22:04:03+00:00

I’m trying to book a holiday but DH said his mate from work goes to this holiday spot every single year and he’d been telling him all about it and would be able to give us some great advice. I know how this goes … DH will hang on this guys every word no matter what I say so I said to him “ok, well I’m a bit stuck on hotels so ask him about that tomorrow (today)” Do he comes home from work tonight and this was the convo Me: did you ask your mate about hotels? DH: yeah he was saying he goes every year without fail so they know all about it Me: ok, what did he say about hotels? DH: well, normally they go in November time but he was saying this time he got a last minute deal for October! Me: and what did he say about hotels? Dh: well he knows how how to get the best deals, he said they pay £3k max, nothing like the prices you were getting Me: did you ask him about hotels?? DH: yeah he said you should ring him and he’ll tell you all about it … At this point he starts to do an impression of me ringing this guy up complete with me typing the numbers, holding the phone to my ear waiting for an answer, saying hello etc etc … I let this ridiculousness complete and then said … Me: well it’s just hotels I’m interested in really, did you ask him? DH: Yeah, he recommended a few, he said you don’t need anything fancy Me: DH!! Can you just tell me the hotels he recommended for the love of god!? DH: I wrote them down but left the paper at work, I’ll get it tomorrow FFS he could have just come in and said “spoke to mate, I’ve left the recommendations at work though so I’ll get them tomorrow” WTF does he do this?? He does it all the time! It’s like he deliberately withholds the important information you’re waiting for but why? WIBU for snapping at him and telling him what a waste of time that whole conversation was?

SquirrelsEatingConkers · Yesterday 16:10

AmberTigerEyes · Yesterday 11:42

Are you sure you’re not biased towards thinking that because you already knew that she really wanted names of hotels?

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Her husband already knew that she wanted names of hotels because they'd already had a conversation about it where he'd said he'd ask his friend for the names of the hotels his friend recommended. The names of the hotels was literally the entire point of both DH conversation with his friend and OP conversation with DH. With any reasonable, sane, ordinary person the fact that the conversation was about the names of the hotels goes without saying, because they've already had that part of the conversation another day.

OP is not the one with the communication problems here and I doubt that her DH found the conversation annoying - because he spent it saying exactly whatever he wanted to say and didn't appear to care one jot that he didn't answer her question at all because he'd left the list at work. He's a poor communicator and an annoying twat, which is what this thread is about, OP venting and getting some sympathy for that. It's not about her getting advice on how to communicate better with a twat who doesn't actually want to communicate at all, he just wants to monologue at her. Instead of getting snippy with people, you could do with working on your "reading the room" skills.

Roomforapony · Yesterday 16:28

Excessiveagitation · Yesterday 15:57

Have you ever watched Friday night dinner? Because I think you've married a Martin...

😂
Does he like a “nice bit of squirrel 🐿️” @Diagno

GrouvilleMaLuv · Yesterday 16:28

G5000 · Yesterday 10:33

If I were asked ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ I would comprehend that as a yes/no question and just said yes or no.

so if someone asks if you know what time it is, a reasonable answer would be 'yes' and not telling them the time, because they didn't ask?

Apologies but a slight derail.

We asked one of the wait staff in a restaurant if she knew what the soup of the day was. She said ‘No’ and walked off! My friend and I did laugh about it though.

Swizzbizz · Yesterday 16:30

Oh Lordy, the game of charades in every conversation. God help you OP 😂

WiddlinDiddlin · Yesterday 16:44

Mine will start a story with a full biography on everyone who was present... no matter how irrelevant they are to the story... by the time we get to the story I've fallen asleep.

He is also turning into his bloody, worry-wort wittering father, has to triple quadruple check every thought or concern .. then IGNORE MY ANSWER ... and carry on until I am (usually) proven right.

[Selling a handmade item on FB]

Him: 'This persons contacted me wanting to buy X, but they seem a bit sus, profile only created yesterday, look: waves phone at me do you think they are a scammer?

Me: 'Yes, also thats a very male name, female photo, vague question that doesn't really match what you're selling, it's a scammer. Block them.

Him: Yes probably but I'll just message them anyway...

Me: 'Really don't bother, it's a scammer'.

Him: Well yes but now they're asking if they can have it in black and can they have two and they'll send their cousin to pick it up... i think it might be a scammer...

Me: 'Really don't bother, you don't have them in black, and they are a scammer.

Him( a short while later): I've given them my paypal details, they say they've paid but I don't see any money...so this seems dodgy.

Me: THEY'RE A SCAMMER.

Him: Oh now there's an email saying my paypal isn't a business paypal and needs to be converted to one and I have to send £200 and then they'll refund it and it seems odd I don't know...

Me: That's not how you turn a personal paypal into a business one, I know because I've had one for years. It is a scammer, look: points at email Paypal don't use '[email protected]' as an email address... THEY ARE A SCAMMER, BLOCK THEM.

Him: Ok I blocked them, obviously a scammer.

Me: ffs.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · Yesterday 16:47

Just book the hotel you fancy. Can’t be doing with others recommendations. My expectations would be different from other people.

CheerfulYank · Yesterday 16:57

whatsnewbuttercup · Yesterday 07:59

”There is no tape!”
Liam Neeson in his best ever role: what inspired casting that was!

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My favorite thing in that whole episode is how smug Michelle looks when Colm is droning on. He’s all “well, you say that now, but there was a lad up’n Pennyburn callllled Diego” and Michelle’s face/little gesture is hilarious. 😆

CheerfulYank · Yesterday 17:04

Anyway, my DH barely speaks, which is honestly a perk. The older I get, the more the idea of a man in my house, blathering on at me all the time annoys me.

But he does, even with his limited speech, have one bit that never fails to make my blood boil.

I can ask him the most innocuous thing, like “did you send the box of snacks in with DS” or “do you know if it’s recycling week or just garbage” or WHATEVER and often he will say something like “hard to say” or “I dunno guv”.

NO IT IS NOT HARD TO SAY BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHETHER YOU DID OR DID NOT 🤬🤬🤬 JUST TELL ME!

He’s working from home today, diligently putting in new windows, and hasn’t said either of those things at all. However, typing it out here has enraged me and I may need to go pick a fight 🤣

Humdingergum · Yesterday 17:12

XMissPlacedX · 01/10/2026 23:38

My DH is like this, can’t answer a simple question ever, even a question that requires a simple yes or no
is impossible with him. Makes my blood boil. I’ve put it down to either one, or a mixed contribution of:
A: He likes the sound of his own voice
B: doesnt listen to what I am actually saying
C: He has moments of when he turns into a complete moron and can’t understand a simple sentence.

9 years and I’ve still not worked it out

All of these describes my dh. He will go into the minutest of details.
His mother is the same. Can't just say that she went to a doctor's appt and this and that was said. It starts from when she sits in the waiting room. She once asked me if I was watching a t.v series which I wasn't and not my thing. Then proceeded to tell me the whole plot after it had started 6 weeks ago!!

Bryna · Yesterday 17:33

Mine is prone to rambling and also has the very annoying habit on making a comment on everything’s he sees:

I put the kettle on, oh do you need some hot water?
sees me checking on food in oven- oh are you checking it?
sees a random cat in the garden- oh there’s a cat (there’s many!)
Then there’s the rambles about work describing the place he was working that day and asking me if I know the layout of the place from last time- the answer is no, I’ve never been there🙄

I’ve found that I’m a quiet person who’s happy to sit quietly doing something until there’s something that needs saying, however he just can’t cope with quiet and has to fill the void with random observations (unless he dozes off, even then he snores-more noise!)
I think I’ve become more intolerant to it over the years!🙈

Calling · Yesterday 19:32

Thepeopleversuswork · Yesterday 07:58

My OH does this and it drives me mad. I had this conversation (almost verbatim) with him this morning. He makes me guess things that are not particularly interesting to guess and when I don't have time.

"Guess what we're having for dinner tonight?"
"I don't know OH, what?"
"Guess"
"I don't want to guess, I need to be out of the house in ten minutes, I need the toilet and to feed the cats. Just tell me."
"It's your second favourite meal."
"Just tell me OH I don't have time for this."
"Go on, just think about what you've told me about your list of favourite meals."
"I DON'T HAVE A 'SECOND FAVOURITE' MEAL! JUST TELL ME ALREADY."
"You don't have to get arsy!"

It's excruciating.

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Mind you, apart from being annoying, he is trying to please and he is cooking...

Calling · Yesterday 19:33

Swizzbizz · Yesterday 09:23

My gran always did this. But the end was “well, he died.”

sigh.

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That is funny, in a way!

Specialagentblond · Yesterday 19:37

Just say that’s great just let me know when you’ve booked it. Then if he hasn’t done it by the end of the week, just book it yourself.

EveryoneUsingOutro · Yesterday 20:04

BillyBites · Yesterday 07:11

I would not take the advice of anyone who tries to tell me that I “don’t need anything fancy” regarding a holiday I am looking to take.
Find something YOU like the look of and check it out on Trip Advisor. Then, perhaps consider leaving your DH at home and going with a friend.

Yeah that was a bit rude wasn’t it! Anyone who knows me knows I love a bit of luxury, if DH’s “mate” said that, I’d be raising a very sarcastic eyebrow.

Actually that would never happen as DH is far more sense than OP’s H sounds. He makes his own mind up about things! And gets on with stuff!

EveryoneUsingOutro · Yesterday 20:31

SquirrelsEatingConkers · Yesterday 16:10

Her husband already knew that she wanted names of hotels because they'd already had a conversation about it where he'd said he'd ask his friend for the names of the hotels his friend recommended. The names of the hotels was literally the entire point of both DH conversation with his friend and OP conversation with DH. With any reasonable, sane, ordinary person the fact that the conversation was about the names of the hotels goes without saying, because they've already had that part of the conversation another day.

OP is not the one with the communication problems here and I doubt that her DH found the conversation annoying - because he spent it saying exactly whatever he wanted to say and didn't appear to care one jot that he didn't answer her question at all because he'd left the list at work. He's a poor communicator and an annoying twat, which is what this thread is about, OP venting and getting some sympathy for that. It's not about her getting advice on how to communicate better with a twat who doesn't actually want to communicate at all, he just wants to monologue at her. Instead of getting snippy with people, you could do with working on your "reading the room" skills.

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THANK YOU!!

I was about it to type out a reply and you’ve put it perfectly!

OF course it was names of hotels as previously discussed.

@AmberTigerEyes is being ridiculous. Deliberately I assume. Trying to take the title of most annoying person on the thread away from OP’s DH. 😂

WhatDoRacoonsSay · Yesterday 20:39

My Dad used to do this.
Dad, what's for tea?
Weelll, I'm peeling carrots, there will be peas, and some creamed potatoes, (creamed potatoes also pissed me off), then Mum was in Marks at the weekend and looked at pork chops, and lamb, but bought sausages.

Sausage, mash and veg then, whhhyyy the long drawing out of it?

PussInBin20 · Yesterday 20:48

CountryGirlInTheCity · Yesterday 01:50

My mum goes all round the houses like that. A simple enquiry about her hospital
appointment last Friday seems to require her bringing me up to speed on the previous three days as a kind of run up.

And if she’s recalling an event it always involves pointless chatter about which day it took place on: ‘last Tuesday…no it was Wednesday..or was it? No it was Tuesday because I’d been to the dentist beforehand and that was first thing on Tuesday’. and so on. It never has any relevance at all to the actual event.

If she relays a conversation you get EVERY line that someone has said:
She said ‘We haven’t had any post for four days’
I said ‘Well I have because I got a bill yesterday’
She said ‘Oh did you?’
I said ‘yes’

She’s a kind and lovely lady but man she can spin out a tale. I don’t think I could live with it all the time any more. I’ve been with DH for well over 30 years and he’s a man who doesn’t speak unless he’s got something worth saying. It’s a more peaceful life!

Gosh I think we have the same Mother! Mine does exactly this - replays the whole thing in real time. You think she’s getting to the point soon but when she eventually finishes you think “was that it?”.

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 21:03

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 02:24

Go on holiday on your own. And wherever the hell you like.

And if she’s recalling an event it always involves pointless chatter about which day it took place on: ‘last Tuesday…no it was Wednesday..or was it? No it was Tuesday because I’d been to the dentist beforehand and that was first thing on Tuesday’. and so on. It never has any relevance at all to the actual event.

My mother does this, but it's worse because my father gets involved!

"When we were in town on Tuesday, or was it Wednesday...."
Him - No it was Thursday
Her - It wasnt because ....

And so on for a good ten minutes, on a good day you then the not very funny or interesting story. However on a bad day it descends into a full on row with my mother (who is NEVER wrong) angrily jabbing at the calendar. When she is proved wrong the calendar is thrown across the room with something along the lines of "Well of course I am just stupid aren't I?" And then she takes to her bed to sulk for at least 18 hours.

And have literally just put the phone down on this again!!

Asking father if he had sorted an appointment.

"Yes, I went on Monday, or was it Tuesday"
Ma - "It was Tuesday"
No you were at the hairdresser on Tuesday and it wasnt the same day as that
Ma - Must have been Wednesday then
No it was beginning of the week....

and so on for a good five minutes.

FFS!!!!!!!!!!! Just tell me what they said!

"Oh I have broken my toe" Right. And you focus on what day you went not what the outcome was because THAT is the most important thing. Okaaaay.

spanishcheese · Yesterday 21:10

Book your own choice of hotel and leave the prat at home.

PussInBin20 · Yesterday 21:11

G5000 · Yesterday 09:08

Do you remember Alex from next door?
No.
Oh, you must. The Martins’ son.
Nope.
You went to school together!
There were about 900 people at my school.
He was only a year above you. Tall boy, dark hair?
Still nothing.
You used to see him at the bus stop!
Mum, I genuinely have no idea who you mean.
His dad had that blue Volvo. And they had that little dog that was always barking.
No.
You went to his sister’s birthday party!
When?
When you were about six.
I’m 42.
Well, surely you remember Alex.
I really don’t. Why? What about him?
He’s got an air fryer.

😂😂😂

WhatDoRacoonsSay · Yesterday 22:32

Diagno · Yesterday 15:46

Thanks everyone for the replies, I wasn’t expecting so many!
I can now confirm I have the “list” of hotels which features 2 actual hotels. One is a dive, the other one is ok but not what I want so I’ve decided on one I found myself.

To answer a few questions … the impressions DH does are not meant to be piss taking believe it or not … he does it all the time! Examples:

“We could go out for burgers?” (He’ll then do an impression of himself taking the top off a burger, putting sauce on, replacing the lid and then eating it with both hands)

“breaks my heart to see that” (he’ll then do an impression of himself suddenly experiencing chest pain and keeling over)

“hope that chicken was ok otherwise we’ll both be glued to the toilet tomorrow” (he’ll then do an impression of someone gripping their stomach and clutching their bum whilst making groaning noises)

So the impressions have been a feature for a long long time and he does them about himself as well as other people so I don’t think there’s malice in it, it’s just bloody annoying because some go on for ages whilst you’re waiting to resume the conversation.

The round the houses conversations drive me INSANE though. An example from last week

me: did you go to your GP appointment this morning?
DH: yeah, did you know they have closed the round about on top of Cherry lane?
me: oh? Anyway what did GP say?
DH: it’s going to be closed until next month!
me: the GP said that did he? Haha … so what did GP say?
DH: haha no I saw it on Facebook
me: Right, are you going to tell me what GP said or not?
DH: yeah course I am, that car park at the surgery is a nightmare, it’s such tight corners (Insert impression of him manoeuvring tight corners complete with gear changes etc)
me:And the gp said?
DH: well … I got there at just gone 9 and …
me: Look sorry but I’m waiting to go out, just tell me what the GP said please
DH: oh … it’s nothing, just a normal mole

Jesus H Christ

I'm guessing you don't have sex

SquirrelsEatingConkers · Today 01:04

EveryoneUsingOutro · Yesterday 20:31

THANK YOU!!

I was about it to type out a reply and you’ve put it perfectly!

OF course it was names of hotels as previously discussed.

@AmberTigerEyes is being ridiculous. Deliberately I assume. Trying to take the title of most annoying person on the thread away from OP’s DH. 😂

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Actually I assumed that, as another poster asked and she declined to answer, she's possibly autistic and was trying to be helpful giving advice. But she was also killing the vibe of the thread with sniping and pedantry, which was annoying. To give her her due, she has STFU.

@WhatDoRacoonsSay I've never heard mash called creamed potatoes, is that a local dialect thing or did he make it up?

I was an adult before I realised half of the things my mum said were made up and nobody else knew what they meant. Was like re-learning to speak (because of course I'd picked it all up having lived with her all my life). She also mispronounces people's totally ordinary British names, even if she's been told what it is and not just seen it written down, not that that's any excuse since she can read perfectly well. Goodness knows what that's about.

WhatDoRacoonsSay · Today 01:18

SquirrelsEatingConkers · Today 01:04

Actually I assumed that, as another poster asked and she declined to answer, she's possibly autistic and was trying to be helpful giving advice. But she was also killing the vibe of the thread with sniping and pedantry, which was annoying. To give her her due, she has STFU.

@WhatDoRacoonsSay I've never heard mash called creamed potatoes, is that a local dialect thing or did he make it up?

I was an adult before I realised half of the things my mum said were made up and nobody else knew what they meant. Was like re-learning to speak (because of course I'd picked it all up having lived with her all my life). She also mispronounces people's totally ordinary British names, even if she's been told what it is and not just seen it written down, not that that's any excuse since she can read perfectly well. Goodness knows what that's about.

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I think he was being a twat posh.
Its mash ffs.