Page 5 | AIBU to snap after DH dragged out simple holiday hotel advice?

Subsets2026 · Yesterday 09:23

God help you.
He sounds like a complete moron.
I'd be tempted to give it a miss.

Swizzbizz · Yesterday 09:23

G5000 · Yesterday 09:08

Do you remember Alex from next door?
No.
Oh, you must. The Martins’ son.
Nope.
You went to school together!
There were about 900 people at my school.
He was only a year above you. Tall boy, dark hair?
Still nothing.
You used to see him at the bus stop!
Mum, I genuinely have no idea who you mean.
His dad had that blue Volvo. And they had that little dog that was always barking.
No.
You went to his sister’s birthday party!
When?
When you were about six.
I’m 42.
Well, surely you remember Alex.
I really don’t. Why? What about him?
He’s got an air fryer.

My gran always did this. But the end was “well, he died.”

sigh.

Warmlight1 · Yesterday 09:24

G5000 · Yesterday 09:08

Do you remember Alex from next door?
No.
Oh, you must. The Martins’ son.
Nope.
You went to school together!
There were about 900 people at my school.
He was only a year above you. Tall boy, dark hair?
Still nothing.
You used to see him at the bus stop!
Mum, I genuinely have no idea who you mean.
His dad had that blue Volvo. And they had that little dog that was always barking.
No.
You went to his sister’s birthday party!
When?
When you were about six.
I’m 42.
Well, surely you remember Alex.
I really don’t. Why? What about him?
He’s got an air fryer.

Aah that was my mum! Fond memory now. X

Barbarella73 · Yesterday 09:26

My husband was like this. We’ve been divorced for years now and I still think sometimes how lucky I am not to be in a state of constant irritation.

AmberTigerEyes · Yesterday 09:29

I agree the conversation was a waste of time, but your question ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ was super vague and repeating it over and over didn’t make him any wiser on that you really wanted to know ‘what were the names of the hotels he recommended?’

If I were asked ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ I would comprehend that as a yes/no question and just said yes or no.

So if you’re not getting the specific information you wanted from saying ‘did you ask him about the hotels? It is normally recommended in communication classes to change your question to one that specifically asks the listener the exact information you are looking for. Repeating the same question over and over usually results in getting all kinds of information the listener thinks you want.

Swizzbizz · Yesterday 09:33

AmberTigerEyes · Yesterday 09:29

I agree the conversation was a waste of time, but your question ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ was super vague and repeating it over and over didn’t make him any wiser on that you really wanted to know ‘what were the names of the hotels he recommended?’

If I were asked ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ I would comprehend that as a yes/no question and just said yes or no.

So if you’re not getting the specific information you wanted from saying ‘did you ask him about the hotels? It is normally recommended in communication classes to change your question to one that specifically asks the listener the exact information you are looking for. Repeating the same question over and over usually results in getting all kinds of information the listener thinks you want.

Edited

Are you autistic?

Steeleydan · Yesterday 09:44

Diagno · 01/10/2026 23:04

I’m trying to book a holiday but DH said his mate from work goes to this holiday spot every single year and he’d been telling him all about it and would be able to give us some great advice. I know how this goes … DH will hang on this guys every word no matter what I say so I said to him “ok, well I’m a bit stuck on hotels so ask him about that tomorrow (today)”

Do he comes home from work tonight and this was the convo

Me: did you ask your mate about hotels?
DH: yeah he was saying he goes every year without fail so they know all about it
Me: ok, what did he say about hotels?
DH: well, normally they go in November time but he was saying this time he got a last minute deal for October!
Me: and what did he say about hotels?
Dh: well he knows how how to get the best deals, he said they pay £3k max, nothing like the prices you were getting
Me: did you ask him about hotels??
DH: yeah he said you should ring him and he’ll tell you all about it …

At this point he starts to do an impression of me ringing this guy up complete with me typing the numbers, holding the phone to my ear waiting for an answer, saying hello etc etc … I let this ridiculousness complete and then said …

Me: well it’s just hotels I’m interested in really, did you ask him?
DH: Yeah, he recommended a few, he said you don’t need anything fancy
Me: DH!! Can you just tell me the hotels he recommended for the love of god!?
DH: I wrote them down but left the paper at work, I’ll get it tomorrow

FFS he could have just come in and said “spoke to mate, I’ve left the recommendations at work though so I’ll get them tomorrow”

WTF does he do this?? He does it all the time! It’s like he deliberately withholds the important information you’re waiting for but why?

WIBU for snapping at him and telling him what a waste of time that whole conversation was?

Sounds like he hangs on every word this idiot tell him like he's the next coming of christ!
Just say until you give me the relevant information I require the matter is closed

F63C · Yesterday 09:53

Elsvieta · Yesterday 08:58

Far from the point I know, but I would actually be asking questions about the "car with no handbrake". I mean, some don't these days, right? (Mine doesn't, it has a little button). And is there a difference (for everyone else) between having the road blocked by a car with and a car without...?

Show quote history

Since you mentioned......the two sons from No. 43 came out and pushed it. Their father then came out to assist and SIL could see that he has a tag on his ankle. He shouldn't wear joggers either with his enormous belly.

They stopped it moving by putting bricks from the wall of No. 31 which was knocked down by the postman in his van but nothing has been touched because he is disputing this. Her at No, 30 has it all on something called a wing camera or something so 'it will go to court'.

The two sons from 43 are as different as chalk from cheese. One is a 'high flyer' and the other 'will never leave home'. This is the first time she has seen the younger one outside in a twelvemonth. He is allergic to dogs but his Mum refuses to get rid of the dog. They are thinking of putting a caravan on the drive but whether this is for the son or the dog or the postman remains to be seen.

😝

bitterbuddhist · Yesterday 09:55

Weaponised incompetence, OP. I'd just do what suits me and let him tag along - or not.

If your DH wanted to, he would. He doesn't so don't do it on his behalf.

Janetwin · Yesterday 09:56

Toothsome · 01/10/2026 23:31

My dad used to do this with a friend of his whom he, for no reason that was ever clear, worshipped and saw as the font of all knowledge on anything from childbirth to de-icing your windscreen to world peace. This friend, as I mentioned on another Mn thread recently, once put a tinned steak and kidney pie, in its sealed tin, in the oven when his wife was in hospital and blew the door off the oven.

Every time dad quoted his friend’s unassailable knowledge after that we all just shouted ‘Steak and kidney!’

brilliant. That made me laugh

sunflowersintheday · Yesterday 09:57

LTB

Notimeforaname · Yesterday 09:59

JLou08 · 01/10/2026 23:12

Maybe he wants a conversation with his wife that lasts more than 30 seconds. Or maybe he is tired and not thinking straight.
You sound quite harsh.

I agree with this.

I can be annoying with things like asking unnecessary questions in a conversations, I realise it's a habit that bothers my nearest and dearest but then again, it's not the end of the world, we all have annoying things about us that bother other people.
I wouldn't say he's withholding the information on purpose. Could be just him and how he thinks/speaks sometimes.

5foot5 · Yesterday 10:00

Toothsome · 01/10/2026 23:31

My dad used to do this with a friend of his whom he, for no reason that was ever clear, worshipped and saw as the font of all knowledge on anything from childbirth to de-icing your windscreen to world peace. This friend, as I mentioned on another Mn thread recently, once put a tinned steak and kidney pie, in its sealed tin, in the oven when his wife was in hospital and blew the door off the oven.

Every time dad quoted his friend’s unassailable knowledge after that we all just shouted ‘Steak and kidney!’

Ha ha! I remember FIL telling me he had a work colleague who did this. Poured himself a beer, fell asleep in the chair and woke up to the explosion.

Can't be the same bloke though cause I think this one was single and FIL certainly didn't see him as the fount of all knowledge, clearly thought him a bit of an idiot actually.

ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 10:03

He did an impression of you ringing the guy? Including dialling, waiting for an answer and saying hello?

The rest of it is rage-inducing but I can understand that some people just can't answer a question and have to go round the houses. But the impression of you ringing the guy and all that? I don't get it. Was he being horrible? Was he suggesting you're too stupid to know how to phone someone? What was that actually about?

And if he's got the guy's number, why didn't he just ring or text him for the hotel recommendations?

sunflowersintheday · Yesterday 10:05

ThatCyanCat · Yesterday 10:03

He did an impression of you ringing the guy? Including dialling, waiting for an answer and saying hello?

The rest of it is rage-inducing but I can understand that some people just can't answer a question and have to go round the houses. But the impression of you ringing the guy and all that? I don't get it. Was he being horrible? Was he suggesting you're too stupid to know how to phone someone? What was that actually about?

And if he's got the guy's number, why didn't he just ring or text him for the hotel recommendations?

Yeah I'm going to say that's really nasty and unpleasant of him. Why can't he just have an adult conversation?
Someone will probably say he's ND.

Ohdearnotthisagain · Yesterday 10:06

He sounds like a complete idiot.

sunflowersintheday · Yesterday 10:12

Ohdearnotthisagain · Yesterday 10:06

He sounds like a complete idiot.

Absolutely, he'd get on my nerves. Why would anyone be so irritating?

Janetwin · Yesterday 10:14

I just this morning had to reply to a friend asking if I was closer to knowing when I would be free to do book a “breathing and meditation” class with her, to say that I was still waiting on DH to book our holidays and confirm the dates, but he was waiting to make sure he could get an emergency passport because he didn’t renew his passport 3 months ago when he should have… Jesus Christ.

reading some of the messages here make me feel better just to know I’m not the only one! Hope OP enjoys the holiday

NarnianQueen · Yesterday 10:15

I’d just give him the job of booking it all

booksnbaking · Yesterday 10:15

Elsvieta · Yesterday 08:53

Patronising git. I'd be doing "imitations" right back. "Why don't you ask him about it? You could say (deep voice), 'Hey Steve, what was the name of that hotel you said was so good?'" etc...

Just get something on booking.com and don't even mention it until he brings it up.

Please do this. Please. Every time.

And @AmberTigerEyes‘ point about changing the question to the exact information you want - “Which hotel names did your mate give you?” - is a very good one.

I have a friend who does the whole “Was it Tuesday? No, it was Wednesday, and I know because Mrs Nextdoor always goes out on Wednesdays and her car wasn’t on the drive” schtick and the impressions thing, but at least the impressions are only about things in the past that actually happened, not some weird role-play-as-preparation thing. (She has a heart of gold and is always doing favours for people, so I suck it up as the price to pay. That system doesn’t apply to spouses.) Does your DH have dreams of becoming a life coach, perhaps? 🤔 😁

5foot5 · Yesterday 10:16

I'm trying to book a holiday but DH said his mate from work goes to this holiday spot every single year and he’d been telling him all about it and would be able to give us some great advice.

TBH my initial reaction to this would be that the mate doesn't sound very well travelled or adventurous if he just keeps going back to the same place year in year out so I wouldn't put much value on his advice.

Yeah, he recommended a few, he said you don’t need anything fancy
And this would really put my back up. How the hell does he know what you want? Frankly I wouldn't be holding my breath for this guy's list at all.

morart · Yesterday 10:19

The worst part of this is you being willing to wait to book your holiday on the advice of a workmate of your DH who is just a run of the mill holidayer.

AmberTigerEyes · Yesterday 10:27

Swizzbizz · Yesterday 09:33

Are you autistic?

Show quote history

Autism is neither here nor there.
Whether the person is autistic or not, the interpersonal communication recommendation is to adjust your question to be more specific if the person isn’t answering with the exact information you need after asking a general style question. Repeating the same general question over and over generally hinders effective communication in this situation where a person is giving you answers to your question, but not giving you the specific information you really needed.

EmeraldShamrock000 · Yesterday 10:29

He is not responsible enough to complete the task. Learned stupidity.
Just read the reviews online. You’ve no idea what is okay in his mates book.

pinkyredrose · Yesterday 10:30

morart · Yesterday 10:19

The worst part of this is you being willing to wait to book your holiday on the advice of a workmate of your DH who is just a run of the mill holidayer.

Yep. Just get online and check out hotel reviews! Don't make this mate the provider of your holiday!