AIBU to snap after DH dragged out simple holiday hotel advice?

[Diagno]

I’m trying to book a holiday but DH said his mate from work goes to this holiday spot every single year and he’d been telling him all about it and would be able to give us some great advice. I know how this goes … DH will hang on this guys every word no matter what I say so I said to him “ok, well I’m a bit stuck on hotels so ask him about that tomorrow (today)”

Do he comes home from work tonight and this was the convo

Me: did you ask your mate about hotels?
DH: yeah he was saying he goes every year without fail so they know all about it
Me: ok, what did he say about hotels?
DH: well, normally they go in November time but he was saying this time he got a last minute deal for October!
Me: and what did he say about hotels?
Dh: well he knows how how to get the best deals, he said they pay £3k max, nothing like the prices you were getting
Me: did you ask him about hotels??
DH: yeah he said you should ring him and he’ll tell you all about it …

At this point he starts to do an impression of me ringing this guy up complete with me typing the numbers, holding the phone to my ear waiting for an answer, saying hello etc etc … I let this ridiculousness complete and then said …

Me: well it’s just hotels I’m interested in really, did you ask him?
DH: Yeah, he recommended a few, he said you don’t need anything fancy
Me: DH!! Can you just tell me the hotels he recommended for the love of god!?
DH: I wrote them down but left the paper at work, I’ll get it tomorrow

FFS he could have just come in and said “spoke to mate, I’ve left the recommendations at work though so I’ll get them tomorrow”

WTF does he do this?? He does it all the time! It’s like he deliberately withholds the important information you’re waiting for but why?

WIBU for snapping at him and telling him what a waste of time that whole conversation was?

I’d prefer a refund to an exchange.

I have very little patience with people who ramble. My sil does it and I die a little each time. At least I don’t have to live with her though.

If I were asked ‘did you ask him about the hotels’ I would comprehend that as a yes/no question and just said yes or no.

so if someone asks if you know what time it is, a reasonable answer would be 'yes' and not telling them the time, because they didn't ask?

Oh I hate it when people say, it was Tuesday, no Wednesday, no it was definitely Tuesday, and it turns out the day of the week is completely irrelevant to the story. 😭

That is so irritating. A colleague ran a local half marathon one weekend.
On the Monday, I asked him how the marathon went. He said "I didn't run a marathon".
I didn't say "half marathon" so he wouldn't reply.
Dick.

Another useless bloke

I also have a DH who thinks his mate (not always the same one through 30 years) knows everything and I know nothing. That is what this is. It doesn't change. It is a disrespect problem.
If you find a way to cure it, however many years in the future, please post back here for the rest of us. I'll be watching the thread.

Me too. It’s not annoying.

Christ, no, this drives me up the wall - my OH does the same sometimes. I just wait for the nonsense to finish and then point out that he hasn't actually answered my question. Then we get there! I always say he'd make an excellent politician with all the avoidance of answering and the waffle.

Speaking in an inefficient manner really annoys me. Just answer the question or relay the information in as few words as possible! If a question can be answered with yes or no, just say yes or no!

That’s a different sort of question where social convention says that is how a person asks someone to tell them the time.

There is no general social convention that applies to the OP’s question.

Agreed. And asking good questions is part of efficient communication.

There surely is. There was a clear question about the hotels. Her could easily have answered.

Of course OP wanted to know what the friend said about hotels, why on earth would she be interested in yes/no answer?

Absolutely. Hotels are not an abstract construct.
He's gaslighting.

So… you are autistic? I’m asking in the most precise way possible.

“Interpersonal communication recommendations” sounds like the kind of bollocks you’d hear in some corporate workplace guidance. The OP is not the one with a communication problem here.

No, the question she repeated was general and not at all clear that she wanted the names of hotels until the very end:
“Me: did you ask your mate about hotels?
Me: ok, what did he say about hotels?
Me: and what did he say about hotels?
Me: did you ask him about hotels??
Me: well it’s just hotels I’m interested in really, did you ask him?
Me: DH!! Can you just tell me the hotels he recommended for the love of god!?”

”about hotels” is vague, what about them? Location, amenities, reviews,
prices, etc.

Only when she finally asked clearly for the hotels recommended did she get the answer she was looking for from the start.

Could have skipped everything else if she’d asked a clear question in the beginning. Extremely inefficient communication and not entirely the fault of her DH. In future, it’s a good practice to ask for exactly the information you want.

I disagree. OP failed to clearly communicate that she wanted the names of recommended hotels. Once she did, she got the answer she was looking for, a list of recommended hotels exists- although the DH had forgotten the list at work, but he know knew what information she wanted, she knew he had gotten it and it would be in her hands the next day.

I can s this is annoying if he does it all the time. But I had to laugh to myself at the mime of a phone call ...my mum does exactly this whenever she mentions making a call.

Actually, OP didn’t want to know what the friend said about hotels, she wanted the names of hotels.

My reply to the the OP’s question would have been a yes because I’d want a follow up question asking specifically what does OP want to hear about the hotels.

What's the point of it? I don't understand at all. Is she trying to be funny?

He didn't ask the mate

Why on earth would you only answer "yes"?

I got annoyed reading that so you are not being unreasonable.

By the way, that’s not gaslighting. Failing to understand specifically what OP wanted to know about the hotels and giving a bunch of information about the hotels hoping it was what she was looking for isn’t gaslighting.

Gaslighting is when an abuser invents an alternate false reality and tries to convince the victim that the false reality is what happened.

Oh dear god.
Ok
I'm off.
Good luck, @Diagnowith all that nasty, irritating pedantry....oh and gaslighting