AIBU to wonder if I am neurodivergent and burnt out at work

[RosaXx]

In recent years, I’ve wondered if I am neurodivergent. (some examples for context:)

• Struggled with insomnia and anxiety since childhood. Around age 10.
• Sensitivity to noise. I can also pick up on noises, such as beeps and buzzes that other people around me can’t hear.
• Dislike being in crowded places and can become extremely panicky and stressed.
• I have been told I have a very serious face, even when I am happy or enjoying something.
• My school reports were “Rosa is a pleasure to have in class, is intelligent but needs to contribute more”. I would never contribute in class. I preferred to observe and stay silent.
• I am a hoarder. I find it very difficult to part ways with things. Even clothes I do not like and haven’t worn in years.
• I struggle with time keeping in my personal life. No matter how much I prep for something I am always running late by a few minutes and flustered when leaving.

Anyway, I have worked in corporate roles for the past 10 or so years. I believe I interview very well. Despite my anxiety disorder I can fake confidence very well. I have been offered the job for every interview I have attended. I have very good IT and admin skills, great attention to detail and my colleagues often ask me to check their presentations for any mistakes and feedback.

However, I feel like I really struggle within this “world”.

• I hate any type of “mingling” and networking. I can’t do it. I can’t go and chat to random people. I often have to excuse myself and hide in the toilets at any type of thing like that. I prefer to be alone.
• Same with “team away days”. I feel they are pointless and have even rang in sick to avoid going to them. I hate them. I panic. I would rather sit by myself in the office and just work rather than play games and listen to presentations that I can’t concentrate on, because I can hear other people breathe, cough, take a drink etc.
• After work I am mentally exhausted. It is a struggle to get changed or cook a quick dinner. Sometimes I go straight to bed and just lie in silence even though I cant sleep until 3am.
• I sit through countless meetings which are pointless. Or meetings about an upcoming meeting. Everything could be so much more simpler in an email. With clear short instructions. At the end everyone says how helpful and insightful they are. But I just sit there thinking “WTF is this?”
• I feel I work best when I do work from written clear short instructions. I panic with verbal instructions and often follow up for clarification via email.

Although I enjoy my role and do think I am a good worker I am feeling more and more tired or “burnt out”. I feel I may not be compatible with this type of work, but what else can I do? Administration in corporate has been my job for my whole adult life since leaving university.

Is anyone similar to me and do you have a diagnosis for ADHD/Autism? I am not sure if a diagnosis would help or change anything but I am curious.

I realise this may be very very long so thank you if you have got this far.

All your symptoms are part of having anxiety plus being an introvert. Surely if you have done research, then you have come across many many people say the exact same things as you have posted about? Its all so common. It seems you dont want to hear that for some reason though and would rather everyone tell you that you are ND.

I can’t see where hoarding, messiness, and sensitivity to sounds and smells and lots of other things are due to anxiety.

I am sorry but I just can’t. I can’t find the research that points to it.

I don’t want to hear it because it doesn’t make sense.

Yes clocks! I cannot have clocks in my house. I can only focus on the ticking if there is a physical clock nearby. Fridge buzzes, beeps, and high pitched noises. I feel like I go crazy because I can hear them so clearly but others either can’t hear them at all or can block it out.

I love animals. Would love to work with just animals and no people. But I’d end up getting too attached and too upset if one died.

A ten second google

all three strongly linked

Some people are just messy too. Some people are neat freaks. Not every human trait points to ND.

No-one here can really say whether you do or do not have ADHD, really. Many of the things you describe can as easily emerge from an acute, prolonged period of social anxiety disorder (or a number of other MH conditions) as they could be indicative of ADHD or another ND condition.

You are describing how you are right now but, for an ADHD diagnosis, it has to have been observed when you were a child by 3rd party witnesses. So a report from a parent or what has been written in a teacher’s report etc, has to show that the things you are describing were present when you were a child, for it to be definitively ADHD. If it has only emerged recently, then it is more likely GAD/MH related. The good news is that if it is the latter, with treatment/medication/time, you may recover whereas if it is ADHD, it is neurobiological and, whilst you can get support and learn to manage it with medication and treatment, you will never overcome it fully.

Your best bet is to do the following online test

https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

If the score it gives is indicative of ADHD, you can then take it to your GP and, under the Right to Chose, request a referral for assessment.

I will leave the thread now. I am mentally finished.

ChatGPT thinks my symptoms align much more to AUDHD rather than just my anxiety disorder alone. To me this makes a lot of sense.

I will ask for a diagnosis, and if be, perhaps some understanding, clarification and the right medication will finally help me navigate my life and my struggles more easier.

Chat GPT:

These traits align much more closely with neurodivergence—specifically profiles within the autism spectrum (AuDHD or autistic traits) and ADHD—rather than a primary anxiety disorder alone.
While anxiety frequently co-occurs with neurodivergence, it usually acts as a secondary effect or symptom rather than the root cause of this specific combination of traits:
• Sensory Sensitivity & Crowds: Sensitivity to light, smells, and sounds, along with distress in crowded environments, is a classic hallmark of sensory processing differences common in autism and ADHD. Anxiety can heighten sensory awareness, but inherent sensory overload is a sensory processing trait.
• Communication & Social Preferences: Needing written rather than verbal instructions points toward differences in auditory processing or working memory. A strong preference for direct, topic-based communication over small talk and mingling is a standard autistic communication style (infodumping or topic-focused interaction).
• Executive Functioning & Space: Hoarding behaviors, messiness, poor time awareness ("time blindness"), and insomnia strongly point to executive dysfunction, which affects planning, organization, impulse control, and sleep regulation (often tied to delayed sleep phase syndrome in ADHD/autism).
Anxiety often develops as a result of trying to navigate a world not set up for these processing differences (e.g., social exhaustion, sensory overwhelm, or shame around time management), but the underlying pattern described here is rooted in how the brain processes sensory input, information, and environment.

Don’t speak to chat GTP - do the assessment test above on the ADHD website and take it to your GP.

Thank you for the link. This is what I got:

Your Section A Score Is: 4

Your Section B Score Is: 6

Understanding your results:

Section A: A score of 4 or more indicates that "the patient has symptoms highly consistent with ADHD in adults and further investigation is warranted". Only a clinician can diagnose ADHD.

Section B: Your results for section B are not used directly in diagnosis but are instead used to help inform the conversation with your clinician.

I will definitely seek an ADHD diagnosis.

I have.

Thank you everyone. Logging off.

I will definitely seek an ADHD diagnosis.

or rather it should be “I will definitely
seek an ADHD assessment”

Yes 100% by the sounds of it - from the first of your posts but then confirmed further!

For all the people saying “social anxiety” - that’s just a symptom of the neurodivergence

Great. Take the print out with you - or even screenshot it and send it as an attachment to an eConsult ahead of an appointment. The GP has to refer you under Right to Choose.

Sensitivity to noise isn't exclusive to being ND. My sensitivity to noise and light are because of physical health things. I know people with sensitivity to noise who aren't ND