AIBU for feeling awful after trying to get pregnant without DH's consent?

[PaperKingfisher]

I’ve done something really bad. I’ve name changed for this and I feel absolutely horrible about it.

My DH has always been against a second child, since we had our first and he was really hard work & intense.

I’m desperate for another and so many people I know are having babies at the moment, it’s like a biological urge. Particularly strong at the moment as I’m ovulating.

My DH won’t have sex with me without a condom. Which I hate as it is.

Now this is the part I feel I need to share as I can’t tell anyone else. After we’d ‘finished’ I took the condom from the bathroom bin and you can imagine the rest…
Yes it was hugely impulsive and wrong and I know I’m the worst person. I’m just so desperate for another baby and every time I see my DS I’m so sad he won’t have a sibling.

I very much doubt this method will get me pregnant, but I just don’t know what to do, I’m so depressed and jealous of my friends. My DH won’t change his mind. In this sense it would be ‘accidental’.
I’m so frustrated and angry that he gets the final say in this and I only get one life, I’m already late 30s so time is running out for me.

Thats just fucking wrong on so many levels.

Just imagine a man deliberately impregnated you without your consent. He would be on criminal charges.

I knew of someone who did ‘accidentally’ got pregnant and her husband never forgave her. They ended up splitting up because he never trusted her after that.
Sometimes we have to accept what we have as a blessing. If it’s that much of a deal breaker then you t would best best to split up and find a man who wants a child with you.

The first reply has it nailed! This is so out of line it’s untrue! He is actively trying to prevent it! I have no words for you

Absolutely LOUSY thing to do.

If you want another baby and DH doesn’t, and you want that baby more than your current life, then you know what you need to do - it’s not tricking your husband and forcing a baby on him he doesn’t want, it’s leaving him and then supporting yourself into having a second baby.

You feel like that because you should, op. Totally totally wrong on every level.

It’s like a form of rape. Outrageous.

Wow. I cant believe you did that op. Thats low.

This is disgusting. Hopefully another one of those fake research posts.

Why do people feel entitled to child?

You need some counselling asap.

You also need to respect his decision, even if it’s not the one you’d like him to make.

In counselling, you need to decide what is more important to you - keeping your existing family unit together and living with your husband and existing child, or your ending the relationship to pursue the possibility of having a second child in the future with someone else. With no guarantees that would happen either.

There is no middle ground when it comes to having children. The person saying no gets the final say because there is no other choice that’s fair on a potential future child.

As if! Men rape with impunity, never mind mucking around with condoms!

If he never wants another child, why doesn’t he get a vasectomy?

I have a friend who did this. Twice.

OP, that's absolutely awful and unforgivable. I can't believe that someone can be so utterly selfish.

These replies are pretty harsh, this is a woman desperate to have another child. And did something impulsive in a moment of madness. You're very brave posting this.

But in all seriousness, you can't do this again.

You should consider getting therapy. You need to come to terms with being happy in your current life. Destroying it by betraying your husband or eventually just breaking up your family from discontent is not in the best interest of the child you do have.

He uses birth control.

“So sad he won’t have a sibling”
We have two and they’ve fought like drunks since the day the second was born. I imagine when DH and I are dead they’ll have nothing to do with one another. Absolutely do not have a second because of some imaginary sibling friendship/support network.

Nah this is borderline rape. Its disgusting.

Oh wow that is honestly terrible. You should feel ashamed.

Your poor dh doing the responsible thing and your there trash diving for the use condom.

If my friend told me this I’d have to find a way to warn her dh tbh.

'These replies are harsh, this is a man desperate for another child, and he penetrated her without her consent in a moment of madness'.

Give your head a wobble.

It doesn’t matter. He’s actively trying to prevent by using condoms. Yes they’re not 100% but why should he have a vasectomy. He should be able to trust his partner to not do something so selfish. I would be gone like a shot if I found out. She’s so stupid it’s untrue.

There's a reason they're harsh, because what OP did is absolutely disgraceful. Hopefully these replies make her realise that.

Wow, not sure I’d have shared that, some things are best kept to yourself when you do something heinous,