AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

Didn’t you suggest for your daughter/other housemates to actually speak to her. Don’t be so devious just get them to ask ‘How long is your mum staying here?’ Has she got a flight home booked…..

The daughter must speak some English to be studying in the UK - why don't they just ask her? Presumably they do talk to this girl, given they have been living with her for a fortnight!

That poor daughter - imagine having your mum stuck to your side at the start of a new experience!

Is it student accommodation or private renting?

speaking to the landlord (university or private) is hardly reporting her. I thought you were going to suggest calling the police

Your daughter needs to speak to the student and tell them this is not ok and the mother needs to leave or they will report it.

This is all kinds of wrong.

Is this university housing or a private landlord? I think the flatmates should get together and ask the girl when her mum is leaving. If they are comfortable doing so, they can reference the housing contract.

If there is no satisfactory answer they should report the situation to the housing manager, whether that is a university office ir a manager for a private landlord.

The standard UK tourist visa is for six months, so that is not likely to be a limiting factor.

Good luck to all.

if this is uni provided accommodation she should just tell the person on site and in charge.

this isnt acceptable

Flatmates need to speak to the daughter. No need to go to student services, unless she says another few weeks etc, which would be awful. Poor girl!

Leave her alone. Why is it a fire safety issue but wouldn't be for any of the other flatmates? Something to do with her being foreign?

Haven’t they asked the girl?

Oh yes, of course it’s to do with her being foreign. It’s commonplace for British parents to squat in their dc’s uni accommodation to help them settle in. Happens all the time….🙄

It's a fire safety issue because the housing register shows 5 students (or whatever) in that flat

Not 6 people. If there is a fire then no one is coming to look for her or checking she is out of there. They don't know she exists.

Fuck all to do with being foreign. It's to do with common sense and legal requirements.

Hardly. The spirit of going off to uni is badly violated when a flatmate’s mum moves in, with no end in sight. The girl may be mortified. (If she isn’t, that is a different kind of problem which she and her mum have no business imposing on flatmates).

And this is a violation of the housing contract. Hell of a way to begin.

TBF there could be short term visitors on any given night, as I understand OP’s description of the housing contract.

What do you mean if the mums visa runs out? Why do you think there’s a visa issue that impacts this?

Report it yourself if concerned

Maybe more to do with her getting free accommodation that everyone else has to pay for.

Its halls of residence. They have asked the girls but she evades the question.
She says she doesn't know.
Its just very awkward and weird. The girl doesn't really leave her room and if she does her mum is there. If the ithers put something in the oven and leave the kitchen if the girls mum is in the kitchen the mum switches off the oven!
They (dd and others) have had friends over and the mum has come out and shouted at them( no one understood), then the daughter came out and apologised. It was 11pm,they were about to go out.
Surely it's odd?

Would you feel the same if it was the girls dad that had moved in without asking anyone or paying any rent?

That’s not true. Any housing provider is aware that the residents may have guests over or may not staying there themselves overnight and all plans are based on not knowing exactly how many people are in the building. That is just common sense

@Ablondiebutagoody

good lord !

Surely you realise this is odd? 😂

I can totally see why the mum is taking advantage of free accommodation but your DD still needs to inform the housing manager. The girl and mum won’t even know it’s her who told them!

Too strange and too wrong, OP.

They need to ask the girl one last time, pointing out that this is not allowed. If she stonewalls, report to the university. Include some detail showing that the mum disrupts life in the flat, as you have now done.

Best wishes to DD and all, including the poor girl.

Report it to whoever is in charge of their housing. Mum shouldn’t be there. Full stop.

Sounds utterly grim having an interfering adult staying uninvited and unwanted in halls. The students should just tell the uni hall management - she's basically squatting!

The girl may be silently begging her flatmates to raise a stink with the halls so her mum is told to get packing. I don’t think your daughter should feel any guilt in reporting this.