AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

Do you think that students don't regularly have people staying over in their rooms? I did it when I was at university and so did my daughterbwurm she was. How is that any different or less of a fire risk then the mother staying?
I assume the mother is just there until she is confident the daughter has settled. Why does Ir bother the other students? I don't expect she stops the others from doing anything. If it bothers your daughter so much why not just talk to the student. Reporting her sounds mean

If your DD and the others have already spoken to the girl and she has been evasive with answers then it’s time for them to go to the housing officer at the uni as it’s halls of residence, it’s a completely reasonable course of action as the agreements are an overnight guest for a maximum of 2 consecutive nights. It isn’t appropriate that the mum has been there for 2 weeks and is clearly being unreasonable - turning the oven off / moaning about the noise and visitors ( a touch ironic ! )

I agree. Most of us would be mortified.

But even if the facts are otherwise, it is the right thing to do.

The mum sounds deranged! They should definitely report her!

Report her immediately.

What a pain in the backside. It’s ruining everyone’s uni experience.

No parent should be staying in halls of residence.

Given they've tried to broach it with the daughter and are not getting a coherent response and the mum is shouting at them and turning the oven off when they're cooking dinner, they need to go to the uni accommodation department she can't be there

Have you just not read OPs posts?

I think you should encourage your daughter to talk to the accomodation office because the mum has been there for 2 weeks with no end-date, and she has shouted at the residents. The fact she has limited English and may or may not need a visa and the length of that are irrelevant. However, your daughter and her flat mates (assuming you're not in Scotland) are adults and you can only advise her what to do, they have to take the action. That said I'm a bit surprised the cleaning staff haven't picked up on it.

It is worse than odd, she needs gone. They pay so much for halls it is fresher and someone with no command of the English language is shouting at them at 11pm. Not ok! Go to student housing and get it sorted

Yes I think your daughter should report. It’s inappropriate. Most have rules re how many times a week someone can stay over. My DD’s halls it’s 2 nights a week. The face mum is interfering with the others who actually pay to be there isn’t on at all.

This happened at DS halls. The mum stayed 3 months. They need to report her ASAP

Sounds like her mum is very overprotective and possibly trying to prevent her from getting homesick

while also cramping everyone's style during fresher's fortnight etc

The irony being, the longer that mum stays there trying to help her daughter settle in, the more alienated her daughter is going become from her flatmates - who don't want to be starting uni with someone's mum gatecrashing.

On a related note, the halls I was in, there were 2 Spanish girls and one of them invited her mates over to stay for a few days, I have no idea how many of her friends were staying overnight in that single room with minimal floorspace, but based on the many pairs of shoes outside the door, it looked to be 3 people.

As for her mum shouting at the other flatmates for daring to use the shared oven, that's insane and controlling.

They'll have a halls manager on site and if not, student accommodation services. The longer it goes in, it will sour the experience for everyone for Year 1..

Maybe you should report her because this is unacceptable. She sounds unhinged.

In my second week at uni (in co-ed halls), a girl
moved her boyfriend in. She was fully convinced everyone thought he was such a laugh that they wouldn’t mind. We tried speaking to her and she shrugged it off and in the end someone spoke to the housing office and reported her and someone came and told him to leave. Made for an awkward and frosty rest of the year but it got the job done….

She should be paying if living there report her now .

Absolutely report. Whilst an occasional over night guest was allowed in my child's halls, a regular visitor wasn't. It's uncomfortable for the other residents and absoluetly bat shit behaviour for a parent to be sharing her daughter's halls of residence.

@noctilucentcloud they are in Scotland, does that make a difference?

Speak to the University first. It is not acceptable to have non students living in a hall of residence.

If I were you I'd be ringing the housing management myself and follow it up with email.
Further to my call to you on date I am sending g this email to have a data trail that the matter was reported to your office.
My daughter is not getting what she has paid for.
She cannot use her occupancy according to the contract.
The interloper is interfering in her use of the accommodation eg turning off the oven while she is cooking.
I trust you will take speedy action to remedy this situation.

The fire risk is unchanged by her being there weeks though

Its not different to if there was a guest staying legally for a night or two.

while tongue in cheek, the fire risk is actually reduced while she's there,

because she keeps inexplicably turning the oven off whenever anyone wants to use it to cook food

I think because Scottish students can be still 17 when they go to university. So technically not an adult.

Given they have asked the daughter and got nowhere, I do think they should now go to the halls manager. The student union may offer housing advice and be able to navigate supporting the daughter.

I would have no hesitation in telling your child and flatmates to go to student services. Poor kids can’t even relax in their own home! And no end in sight? Na not on.