AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

Well some unis do insist on it. Presumably for health and safety reasons

Maybe they’re a bit stupid.

DS’s halls guests had to sign in and out. Also had turnstiles to go through, which released if you had your student card. Guests had to be physically let in (after signing in) by security

Many buildings/organisations have some form of signing in procedure when entering their premises

It sounds a bit sad actually. Sad that they need to do this and dont realise how inappropriate it is. Maybe a gentle chat to point out that it"s inappropriate and why is it happening ??

Apparently I'm wrong for saying the same

I have visited students in many different halls over the years - although not overnight. DD definitely needed a keycard/key to enter the building but nobody is standing at the door checking who is going in and out, or asking them to write names.

Just as well there wasn't a fire when I was visiting her and dropping off cake/shopping, or i'd have been burned to a crisp.

Any updates, @Boxingshibes? Has the mum definitely not been seen again!?

You clearly haven’t read the OPs update!

OP tell your daughter to report them and if the mother tries that again to tell her to guck right off!

I did do an update, but she's gone. Girl is lovely and vv up for going out. She apologised and made a meal for everyone tonight. Apparently it was very tasty and they have now gone to student union to introduce her to UK drinking culture,which may be a shock to her.
No classes tomorrow due to strikes.

That's lovely for the girl, I hope it's the start of a beautiful friendship group! Thanks for updating.

A cousin of mine went to Uni not too far from home. His father decided he was going to land on the poor kid every weekend, then somehow inveigled his way into his hobby and social groups... going out at night with him and his mates, coming back pissed to sleep in his digs... having a whale of a time.

Cousin's friends at last refused to share with him, he had to move in with strangers to do his finals. The kid had no chance of developing himself as an independent adult and went back to live at home after scraping a degree, no girlfriend, doing non-graduate jobs so he can stay local to Daddy Dearest, who still boasts to all and sundry about his great University experience...

So your DD and her friends have done that girl a solid! 👍

It certainly sounds like the girl felt smothered by her mum being there. She is lucky to have such lovely flatmates as your DD @Boxingshibes

excellent result - I bet the girl felt really awkward with her mum there

It's not anymore of a safety issue than when a visitor is staying for only two nights.

Op your DD should just ask her flatmate and if the mum isn't living soon then she can complain but if it's temporary I'd just put up with it. Why make a fellow student's life more difficult unless it really bothers you?

It can be a huge fire safety risk. If you have an overnight guest, you are required to sign them in and out of the building, as well as ensuring they know the fire escape plan. When I was at uni, I lived with a company called “Digs” and they had a requirement for all none-residents to be registered with them before they arrived, they were photographed and had to sign in and out of the building. They were only allowed to be escorted in and out when the resident they were visiting was actually in residence, and had to leave when the resident left. There is also the insurance part of it: most student insurance companies insure the number of rooms in a flat/hall space and allocate 1 person per room. More than 1 person and they can refuse to pay out if there’s an issue.
Luckily the mother has already been sent packing (via her own daughter) as per OPs last update.

Well done to OP’s DD and flatmates! Glad the mum has gone and the her daughter is joining in with the others now!

Ah, Edinburgh, by any chance? We're out on a long slog of strikes. 😟

I work in a university and this is not acceptable, foreign or not. I would report this to the warden and/or Student Services asap. International students are monitored very closely and not attending lectures could result in their student visa being withdrawn…I hope the girl is OK. Her mum should go back home and let her enjoy her UK university experience in peace. Good luck!

Has the girl explained the thought process behind her mum’s plan here, @Boxingshibes? Is she embarrassed?!

How long was the mum planning to say?
Did she realise that shouting at students for bringing friends back is not ok?
Did the daughter know she was planning to stay-did she pack clothes?
What suddenly persuaded her to leave when she hadn’t left in two weeks?
Did the daughter want her to stay?
Will she be back?!