AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

In fact if I were you OP, I'd report it myself. This woman must know that a bunch of 17/18 year olds don't want someones mum ruining the experience. I'd be reporting it if my daughter were being affected like this. The entitlement of this woman!

What part of the world are they from? I'm just wondering if it's a cultural thing, being protective of a student starting abroad. Not that it would excuse it though.

She is turning off the oven when the students are cooking and shouting at them when they bring friends home-this is entirely unacceptable! Poor students (daughter included!)

If none of the students are going to complain (why?!), then yes, I would tell student services myself.

There don’t tend to be many 17 yr olds in uni accommodation.
If it’s uni of Glasgow the accommodation manager was very helpful. If there’s security or reception staff on site I’d suggest she tells them and also emails accommodation.
Student accommodation has to be all students to get council tax exemption.

@Gwenna in the OP it says she’s been there 2 weeks

Absolutely tell your daughter to report.
Two weeks?
Nope.
Completely unacceptable.

OMG my DD is having same issues. Student halls in London. 5 flats and one has a boy and his grown ass FATHER staying so far over a week. The boy has not engaged with the 4 flatmates. They have knocked/left him messages. The boy and his father are constantly arguing loudly. Leaving a mess in the kitchen. And this adult male has appeared in the kitchen in his pajamas!! Neither the boy or his father have spoken to any of them. There are 3 teenage girls in this flat. Serious safeguarding issue IMO. I am furious but trying to leave DD deal with it. They have reported it to reception but hes still there.

That doesn’t make any difference to fire safety

@Pharos they’re clearly not doing that here, otherwise they would’ve found the mum. Besides why wouldn’t an 18 year old student be allowed another 18 year old student to stay because there at 17 yos in the block? What can they even do to monitor it?

I went to uni in Glasgow and the halls of residence had strict policies at that time. (Yes, there were some people who had a friend over for the night, but there was never a case of someone moving in for the duration.)

@Boxingshibes
Based on your updates, yes, they should report it.
Thats absolutely crazy, they are supposed to be living and experiencing Uni life not living with someone's mum.
The mum is completely out of order

I’d report them to the accommodation manager and not feel one bit of guilt about it.

Yanbu that’s completely out of order

A non-student in what is supposed to be student accommodation could mean they are liable to pay council tax. The NUS on campus will be able to help. It won't be the first or the last time is my guess!

Perhaps the ‘mother’ has misunderstood the accommodation,
perhaps she has skin like a rhino.
The daughter is being evasive, as of course she knows what is going on.
Mother is treating the students like unwanted guests which is a little ironic.
I’m guessing this isn’t the first time this situation has occurred, so
Student Services need to be notified quickly
Perhaps you can all go to speak to them, at the same time.
My girls were outspoken and would have had mother out, bags packed,
gone, but under 18 as has been mentioned, I would have spoken up
for her/them of course.
Switching the oven off is odd behaviour for sure.

OP is there a communal bathroom? did you mention this already.
Good luck with everything, hope this doesn’t turn into a Saga

That's a good point. At Glasgow, it was quite common for kids to matriculate straight after Highers. That was why the student bars always demanded ID, even back in the '70s.

There were plenty of 17 year olds in halls back in my day. Has that changed?

The girls should report it to the accommodation manager in writing each day and say they are feeling very unsafe with this older non student man in their flat. They should also write to the Principal of the University and their own Heads of Department.

Someone asked on the parent FB page for DS's uni if they could stay over for the first couple of nights. They were emphatically told no, it was not acceptable.

Your DS needs to report it.

Don't be ridiculous! My former little town is 100% reliant on non-English speaking Chinese students with wads of cash at a local university! I think our little corner shops will sooner learn Chinese than these students learn English. We love them and live in permanent fear that they will abandon our fourth-rate university, what shall our relatives do then? 4 new coffee shops sprung up only due to these lovelies!

If i were you i would report it - this is wrong and affecting your daughters uni experience

You could report this yourself it is wrong on all counts...what if she isn't even the girls mother? Also a safeguarding issue for students.

This is absolutely crazy. I would be so cross if this was my daughter in there. Have they been reported?

I didnt realise halls were mixed sex! (Clearly dont have children that age yet and didnt stay in halls myself).

My daughter was in the biggest halls at Uni of Glasgow and didn’t come across any 17 yr olds. I think gap years more common now. The underage students will be Scottish and lots of Scottish students commute not stay in halls. Think stats are over half of Scottish students commute.

OP, where is this student and the mother from? This is absolutely unhinged behaviour (but cant say im not impressed too - lol).

Your daughter and the other flat mates need to go to the accommodation office/safeguarding ASAP and report this. Its not just the adult staying after you've mentioned the other things shes done. I wouldnt feel comfortable for my child being there whilst that adult is present

Of course it’s odd and they need to report it and stop being so timid. She shouldn’t be there.