To be shocked to read on reddit threads discussing andy carrol the many reports of women sexually assaulting men

[Tinkalinkalink]

To think It was really sad to read so many posts where men detail unwilling sex or waking up to sex acts etc. All saying no one takes this seriously and the impact its had on them.

Is this widely known?

Do we need to be talking about women gaining consent from men more .

https://www.reddit.com/r/PremierLeague/comments/1wp1mu2/andy_carroll_former_england_striker_reveals_he/

YABU. It’s awful but the fact remains the vast majority of victims of sexual assault are women and the vast majority of sexual assaulters are male.

Of course. But it also seems to be happening the other way round

Is there a cultural stereotype that men are always up for it so its ok?

He was sexually assaulted by a man

Tbh the lack of response to this thread makes me worry that a lot of women on here are ok with toxic masculinity attitudes and that disappoints me.

This isnt namalt its this is happening to men too

This.

Interesting though that even when a man is assaulted by another man, it's women getting the blame.
Maybe it's a little too close for comfort for some of these men to discuss how the problem is men.

Because then they would have to do something about it.

And if you read the reddit reactions the men are saying they have been assaulted by women

Surely men coming out in what appears to be large numbers saying women have assaulted them is worthy of our consideration?

The majority of sexual assaults against people of either sex, including rape, are perpetrated by men.

Of course consent matters, and male victims absolutely deserve to be taken seriously.

But I’m not quite sure what you’re suggesting women should do with the fact that some men on Reddit have shared experiences of being sexually assaulted by women.

It’s important to acknowledge those experiences, but they don’t change the broader reality that women remain disproportionately affected by sexual violence, and that the majority of perpetrators are men. Bearing this in mind, what exactly do you want women to do?

Most women I know still have to consider their safety on a daily basis whereas the men I know, do not ever think about it

Why is it the responsibility of women? Men don't take responsibility for the rape culture. Our society told us men are always up for it, which is why clothing is brought up in rape cases, the poor darlings can't help themselves. Some of the judges comments in child abuse cases have been horrendous. Men don't want a 'let's keep our hands off other people' policy. The majority of sexual assaults are done by men, against both sexes.

Your OP implies Andy Carrol was assaulted by a woman.

Language matters.

What can we do with it? Not minimise it, recognise its impact, dismantle secrecy around it, embed the idea of consent really mattering both ways?

YANBU, attitudes that women are only victims are the reason for why men don’t come forward when they are abused. I suspect the numbers are higher than we think

Women committing sexual assault is everyone's problem. Women talking to younger women about male right to consent, young men feeling able and valid to assert this right

Exactly how are women responsible for doing any of those things?

Women are constantly talking about sexual assault, consent, coercion and women's experiences of sexual violence. There is no shortage of women discussing these issues.

What I rarely see is men themselves having widespread, open conversations about male sexual victimisation, challenging other men about sexual behaviour, or making this an issue within male spaces.

If you believe male victims need more recognition and the secrecy around male sexual assault needs dismantling, then surely that is a conversation that needs to involve men too. It shouldn't automatically become another responsibility handed to women simply because some tiny proportion of perpetrators happen to be women.

You’ve only posted it 20
mins ago hence the lack of response!

I dont think it makes that implication at all - its specifying the reddit subthread

I dont think it makes that implication at all - its specifying the reddit subthread

Yes i agree. And this is exactly what toxic masculinity is, the flip side of misogyny

Not on here it isn't. Of course the vast majority of sexual assault is perpetrated by men : that's irrefutable. However most women on here will brush aside the cases where women abuse men as Not Our Problem.

Yes it is significant. And yes, it isn't discussed. I think you are not being unreasonable.

Women talking to younger women about male right to consent, young men feeling able and valid to assert this right

Do men do this? because if they do, it doesnt seem to be working, considering sexual violence against women isnt going away

The majority of sexual assaults against people of either sex, including rape, are perpetrated by men.

Only men can rape.

I think even if its tiny, and we dont know that, women should be having the conversation. That doesnt make us collectively responsible, surely