To be shocked to read on reddit threads discussing andy carrol the many reports of women sexually assaulting men

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To think It was really sad to read so many posts where men detail unwilling sex or waking up to sex acts etc. All saying no one takes this seriously and the impact its had on them.

Is this widely known?

Do we need to be talking about women gaining consent from men more .

Which is really sad, if thats the case.

I have already stated that its women who start most conversations about consent so I am not sure why you think this isnt happening already?

Have you also questioned men why they arent doing it? (because if they are, something isnt working is it, considering that most sexual violence is perpetrated by men)

Like I said Not Your Problem. Nice bit of victim blaming there. So if men are abused it's their own fault for not talking enough about it?

Thank you. I would hate for any man to go through this . How to talk to my son about only doing ehat he is comfortable with etx.

That isn't remotely what I said.

Nobody is blaming male victims for being sexually assaulted, and saying that men could do more to discuss male sexual victimisation is not the same thing as saying men are responsible for the abuse inflicted upon them.

The person responsible for a sexual assault is the person who commits it. Full stop.

My question is much simpler: if you're saying that women need to "dismantle secrecy", "recognise its impact" and "embed consent", why is that being presented as something women collectively need to do? Women already talk extensively about sexual violence and consent.

If you think male sexual victimisation needs more visibility, then by all means raise awareness of it. But pointing out that men themselves also have a role in challenging the culture around male victimisation is not victim blaming. It is perfectly possible to support male victims while also asking why the responsibility for addressing the issue is being placed specifically on women.

What is going on with men is an entitled rape culture that i am vocal about.
The issue here with male reports about women is extremely concerning and likely to do with toxic assumptions that you cant sexually assault men

Well, they would on Reddit.
It's a hotbed of incels and woman-haters.

When it was recognised that men are sometimes the victims in domestic violence, there was nothing but talk about it and vast amounts of money went into men's services. At a level that was unprecedented compared to what has been spent on protecting women.

As you please.

I wasn't aware of the Andy Carroll thing till this thread, but wider discussion is always welcome.
A good friend of mine (male) was raped by a bunch of men on a beach in Europe many years ago - his life, physical and mental health have never properly recovered.
For my own part, nothing compares with my friend's experience, but I've been "roughly groped" 3 times. Once in a gay bar by a bloke - I had him thrown out.
Twice by inebriated women out on the town - once in Glasgow, once in London.
So it does happen.

Do you think women don’t/can’t sexually assault men?

But are we talking about consent with our daughters in this context? Are we discussing it enough? It soesnt make it womens responsibility to be aware enough to talk about it , surely

So any man who says that he's been assaulted in this way is an incel and a liar?

I dont have daughters. I have sons, and I have absolutely talked to them about consent, yes.

You’ll not get much traction with that on here

theres another thread where a man is being roundly slated for “leading on”
a woman and then not sleeping with her.

so sorry to hear that about both your friend and you, no one should be experiencing that

There was a thread on here recently from a woman whose daughter had been involved with a group of girls who'd sexually assaulted a boy while he was asleep at a party.

Why minimise the reports? If you read the thread it sounds like a pattern of drunk, pushy behaviour by women

I’m a bloke and have also been groped a few times by women on nights out. The usual response has been for people to laugh at it, or say “you lucky thing”

Im really sorry to hear of your friends and your own experiences.

Well I'm a bit confused when they have a thread about a man who was sexually assaulted by a man, that they aren't discussing men sexually assaulting men.

Surely that is the problem? They are literally side-sweeping a man's valid lived experience of sexual assault, as are you OP by labouring on how some are deflecting by talking about women sexually assaulting men.

It's a bit like when people voice concern about the alleged rape culture of 'the boat people' and people talk about how we already have a full stable of rapists living in the UK as it is.
Both things can be true without the need to negate the initial discussed concern.

It's quite interesting that given the 3% conviction rate for reported rapes from men against women how very silent men are.

So forgive some posters who have also been sexually assaulted by men for not wanting to address a side issue that is being raised or take blame for it, when what people should be discussing is what the fuck is wrong with all these men who keep sexually assaulting women AND men.

And I notice with interest that NOT ONE PERSON doesn't believe Andy Carroll and that is 100% right.

Now try being a woman who has been raped. See who believes you.

Are these instances where he has been drunk and she had overpowered him? Or are they talking about groping in clubs etc

Does it make a difference? Both are sexual assault

I think the Andy Carroll issue is worthy of a conversation. So is men being sexually assaulted by women. It’s a shame this thread muddles the two as it makes it easier for posters to just divert

I'm so sorry for your experiences. I know there are shit, predatory people everywhere.

As a woman I have been sexually abused, raped and groped (so many times I can't even count how many gropings throughout my life)

None of it is right. 💐