Considering a holiday with a group half my age, where most are strangers.

[Whathappend]

I'm 50. I'm good friends with a 25 year old. I occasionally go out drinking and dancing with her and her friends.

Last night we were out. They were talking about their loose plans to go to ibiza next summer. I was enthusiastic and told them i was excited for them. This turned into an invite for me to join them.

I have wanted to go to ibiza my entire life. I love dance music and dancing until the early hours. But none of my friends in my life have ever wanted to join me on an ibiza holiday. And i don't want to go alone.

So I'm seriously considering taking them up on their offer.

However, they're half my age, so i won't be able to keep up. I've only met her friends a couple of times. They're nice enough, but not sure i want to go on holiday with near strangers. They've got less money than me, so I'll need to eat/sleep on their budgets. No nice meals out on holiday. And everything we do will be on their agenda and i won't feel i can interfere with that too much.

But i really want to go to Ibiza!

I'm a friendly person who gets on well with most. I can rough it for 4 days, and tell them I'm staying in if i need to rest. But still...

AIBU considering going with a bunch of 25 year olds where i only know 1 of them?

If you were a 50 year old bloke hanging out with a group of 25 year old ladies that would be so cringe.
You’re a 50 year old woman hanging out with a group of 25 year old ladies it’s still cringe but in a different way.
No don’t do it. Find some new pals your own age and go to Ibiza with them.

If you were a 50 year old bloke hanging out with a group of 25 year old ladies that would be so cringe.
You’re a 50 year old woman hanging out with a group of 25 year old ladies it’s still cringe but in a different way.
No don’t do it. Find some new pals your own age and go to Ibiza with them.

I am not sure how you will manage if they aren’t in the same income and comfort bracket. I had difficulty on holiday with 30 year olds when I was 35. It was a 30th bday/hen do. The organiser had booked two triple rooms to cut costs. What a mistake when we kept different hours!

They would go to bed at 3am and wake up at 12, hoping for a McDonalds breakfast at 2pm and they wouldn’t eat Spanish food on the trip. They would lounge by the hotel pool and not want to go to the beach. They also slept 5-6pm and went to dinner (pub/McDonalds again) before going to bars and clubs when I wanted to go to bed! I barely saw any art/history/sights on the trip and ended up booking a few return trips to get through them.

You're only 50. Ibiza is all ages groups. What type of person are you? You say you like to dance into the early hours so I'm guessing that you're not going to be heading to bed at 10pm.

I have a lot of early 20s in my life, my own kids, their friends and relations, if I'm honest the older people last longest, I find the younger ones head back earlier than I expected.

The beauty of going in a group is that there will be someone going back early or staying out, you can then choose what to do yourself.

It's not a 2 week holiday, it's a few days. It'll fly in. Regarding accommodation well you can choose what suits you, if you decide to go in with them or get your own room or somewhere nearby and be honest about it, your friend will understand.

You may not be having nice meals etc you might, they may have one night, but in all honesty you can do nice meals anytime, in my own experience I find the quickest food is very appealing as it wasn't cutting into my drinking and dancing time.

If they ask again I would accept. You will get to see Ibiza and do fun things and they sound like lovely people and not people making fun of you.

If you want to go, and they are happy for you to join them then why not go ?
If you find you aren’t enjoying it come home early or do something else. It’s a short holiday, you aren’t moving into a commune with them.
Life is short and we censor ourselves to a ridiculous degree. Who cares what anyone thinks, this is your life and your idea of fun. My friend married a man with this big an age gap, they are very happy. You aren’t doing anything that will hurt anyone else, get your glad rags into a suitcase and go out dancing the night away.

Agree with all of this !

I think you should go - but agree with the posters who say you should get your own accommodation and dip in and out of their activities.

I’m surprised at all the posters saying it’s weird to have an age gap in a friendship. Their lives must be very narrow!

One of my closest friends is 20 years older than me, we met 20ish years ago when I was 25. I would have missed an amazing friendship if I’d decided she was too old to be a mate!

Its not weird to have an age gap in a friendship but what is weird is going on holiday with friend & friends of friend who you don't really know who are young enough to be your kids.

If you were 25 going on holiday with your pals, would you really want someone's Auntie or Mum tagging along?
Because that's what it will feel like.

Depends if you want a week shagging 25 yo men

I’ve travelled a lot - sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Sometimes there’s a big age difference in either direction and it’s been absolutely fine. You’ve always wanted to go and here’s an opportunity. Maybe do a mix, so go do your own thing and go out with them a couple of nights. In parallel look at the fb group. Hope you get to go one way or another, with whomever you end up going with.

Clearly these young women aren’t as ageist as you are because they invited OP along.

Sometimes friendship can transcend age, and not all of us pigeonhole other people by age. In that respect I think OP's friend is actually more mature than some posters on this thread.

OP, if you decide not to go, I will. (Kidding 😂)

Do it. Absolutely do it. I have friends across generations and we enrich each other’s lives so much. Do it and have a great time.

How boring to only associate with people your own age.

So what? OP can participate at whatever level she wishes.

See, this a sane and reasonable response.

Me too.

Sod them. Go and have a good time,

This. Absolutely, totally this. If not everyone in the group is your dear friend now, they may be after this trip together. Ignore ageist, ignorant people who limit their friendships to people who are only like themselves. They limit themselves, don’t let them limit you.

I’m a bit older than you and go to Ibiza hut I wouldn’t go with 25-year-olds, they don’t really want you there! Join the Facebook page Ibiza Clubbing for Over 40s. There is a group on there of singles your age who meet up for drinks and clubbing. Red Jules hosts it. Or go on your own! Loads of single older people go to Ibiza on their own ans have fun

I still haven't got over the Mumsnetters who say they don't answer the door, even in the daytime.

Do you have any kids @Whathappend ? If so, how old are they?

They have likely invited you out of politeness and are hoping you say no, they are young and young have a different style of fun to those in their 50s. Someone in your age group will feel to them a parent is on holiday with them
Consider going alone, or asking friends in your age group, you may find another that also wants to dance the night away

From what I can see there was no “they” in the invitation. It was a friend of the OP’s friend that extended the invitation