Considering a holiday with a group half my age, where most are strangers.

[Whathappend]

I'm 50. I'm good friends with a 25 year old. I occasionally go out drinking and dancing with her and her friends.

Last night we were out. They were talking about their loose plans to go to ibiza next summer. I was enthusiastic and told them i was excited for them. This turned into an invite for me to join them.

I have wanted to go to ibiza my entire life. I love dance music and dancing until the early hours. But none of my friends in my life have ever wanted to join me on an ibiza holiday. And i don't want to go alone.

So I'm seriously considering taking them up on their offer.

However, they're half my age, so i won't be able to keep up. I've only met her friends a couple of times. They're nice enough, but not sure i want to go on holiday with near strangers. They've got less money than me, so I'll need to eat/sleep on their budgets. No nice meals out on holiday. And everything we do will be on their agenda and i won't feel i can interfere with that too much.

But i really want to go to Ibiza!

I'm a friendly person who gets on well with most. I can rough it for 4 days, and tell them I'm staying in if i need to rest. But still...

AIBU considering going with a bunch of 25 year olds where i only know 1 of them?

A 55 yr old colleague went last year with her partner.

An 53 yr old ex went a few years ago with a group of friends. One of the couples took their toddler.

Ex and colleague said exactly the same. They were out at all the big name clubs until the early hours and said the majority of people in them were over 35.

You are friends with her but not with “her friends”.

i wonder how they felt about the friend widening the invite to you without asking them first

So why not go with a friend then?

I wouldn't do it OP. I went to uni as a 42 year old so I was on average 20 years older than most students. While we got on perfectly fine in tutorials and academic assignments I found that the problems I met were were socialising. Twenty-somethings do not want to socialise with people their mum's age. Nor did I want to drink and party like them. That suited me fine because I tended to drink and socialise with the academics because i was a similar age and social position. I was also confident and independent enough to manage on my own in the uni environment. Going to a party clubby environment is going to be very different. You have already said you are going to be in a very different financial position. Chances are you wont want to rough it and they may resent your extra spending ability.

It was one of her friends who said i should come, not my friend. The whole group then started to encourage me to go with them.

Maybe because i buy more rounds than they do. 🤣

None of my friends want to go @Surprisinglynice

you have already asked them all?

op - you were the only one present not going, I imagine it felt a little awkward

It shouldn't have felt awkward. I'm not part of their friendship group!

I have 2 friends who like going out to clubs with me. Both have said no. None of my other friends like the music.

Right there you have answered why you shouldn’t go

A relative in her early 40s did a solo trip to Ibiza and has a blast- she met like minded women who were travelling solo via this Facebook group specifically for Ibiza trips - might be worth considering as an alternative if you want the independence but can pick and choose when/who to socialise with: www.facebook.com/groups/549386347313465/?hpir=1

How?!

I get on with most people. I get on with them when i go out. I could get on with them for 4 days. It's whether i should or not if my friend follows up.

Oooh. Now this looks interesting. Thank you.

I'm not part of their friendship group!

for that reason alone you shouldn’t go
let alone you’re double their age

Exactly! You’re not part of their friendship group, nor should you be. You’re their parents demographic. They were just being nice due to your reaction.

let it be, they sound like a lovely group, but no part of you should think it’s ok to go.

Please don't op. This is weird mid life crisis behaviour. They probably felt they had to invite you because you was there, most likely hoping you forgot when you sobered up.

Not part of their friendship group yet inviting yourself on hoilday with them? Can't you see how odd that is.

To be fair she didn’t invite herself, she expressed excitement, when they told her they were going, I’m going to assume that took the form of her sayinf she’d love that or always wanted to go and no one wanted to go with her, so they were all “come with us. “ as otherwise what do you do. Sit there and say oh that’s a shame. It’s awkward.

it’s the last thing she should do. And she should take it for what it was politeness.

Setting completely aside the age issue

You openly admit to NOT being part of this friendship group. So for that reason alone you shouldn’t go

Go for it. You dont have to be with them 24/7.

If you do go, have plans of what to do if you really fail to get on. So don't share a room, for example.

You were all out drinking and dancing and they may have been keen to invite you at the time, but the fact is you don't know most of them well and holidays can put a strain on relationships. I wouldn't risk it. But find another way of going to Ibiza with a group, where most of the group are strangers to each other and part of the point is to meet now people.

I’m your age and have always wanted to travel there, but I wouldn’t go with an established gang of 25yo. They probably felt they had to invite you when you expressed enthusiasm, especially if you’d generously been buying extra rounds of drinks for them.

Go to Pikes (over 27) or Pikes Presents at 528 (over 21), you’ll be surprised how many 50+ there are, we got talking to loads.

Why are you good friends with a 25 year old. What’s led to this?

Ooooh God no, I am close to this age, and the thought of going to Ibiza with a bunch of Gen Zs fills me with horror! 😱

Do you not wonder why your friends (who I assume are around your age) don't want to go?