Teen daughter has come out gay

[nowhatx]

My teen daughter has told me she’s gay. I’ve told her I love her whatever she is and we’ve had a cuddle. I’ve had a cry on my own. I don’t know why????? She’s 15

is there anything I need to do or nothing I’m just a bit taken back and nobody to talk to x

Ah, all is well. It'll take a while because you perhaps had a different version of your daughter as an adult in your head....but that's all she was, your version of a person that hasn't happened yet.

The real, lovely, brilliant daughter in front of you, has let you know who she is. A whole new path is lying ahead for you, but for her, it's always been her path. And now you're privileged enough to share that and walk it with her.

All the best, both of you.

@nowhatx
it must have taken your daughter a lot to tell you and that’s a great sign that she’s close to you and knows you’ll love her no matter what.

I think just be onhand to chat to her about her feelings, keep the lines of communication open and let her know you are always there for her.

was this a massive shock or did you have your suspicions about a particularly “close friend”
I just think the biggest thing atm is that she felt comfortable telling you and that to me says it all ❤️

Nothing you need to do

Shes done the hard part - now you just carry on being her Mum 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I cried because I worry for her. Because I care. Because I’m human with emotion. Why did you comment that?? Are you alright in the head. Get a life you horrible person

is there anything I need to do

Be prepared for her to experience homophobia and fetishisation as she navigates her life.

You need to encourage her that homophobic people are deeply insecure and hateful, and she should always stay true to herself.

Be happy and proud that you’ve raised a daughter that feels comfortable opening up and confiding in you.

What are you worried about?

Don't be so dismissive. Most people don't care if other people are gay or not but being gay makes life harder for people. There is still a lot of homophobia around and it makes having children a lot more difficult and none of us want that stress for our children. If my daughter told me she was gay I wouldn't be upset that she was gay but I would be upset about the extra difficulties she will face in life. I have gay friends and they have to deal with things I don't.

In general. Cause I’m her mother. Worried about her feelings, her fears, etc. I don’t know why it’s a shock to worry about your 15 year old coming out as gay. Just general mum worry. Good GODDDDDD

Be glad she felt able to confide in you. There's nothing that you need to do. If she's always gay so be it. She may be bi. She may change her feelings. Sexuality is fluid. Embrace her preferences.
Ultimately your dd is still the same person.

Nothing you need to do...be there for whenever she needs you. So brill she felt comfortable telling you ❤️

Oh and IGNORE the negative comment...we all are 🥰

Worry for her why? What is wrong that being gay requires worry?

Oh come on. Sadly there is still a lot of homophobia around. It is perfectly normal to worry that your child may have to face that.

Well said 👍

Ah, so if she has sat you down and said, “mum, I’m straight,” then you’d have had a cry and been worried?

She will be a hell of a lot safer with a woman in her future than a man, statistically speaking.

I think people are pretty sick of homophobia dressed up as concern. Your kid being gay is not a reason to cry.

It's really positive she can come out to you. My wife's Mum had a similar reaction many years ago. She thought life would be hard for her and that she wouldn't be able to have children. She now realises there was nothing to worry about. My wife was so much happier when she wasn't hiding things. The best thing you can be is be supportive and try and be positive.

Your feelings are totally valid. Does not make you homophonic. It can be challenging to be gay. Ignore all the haters.

My son came out as bisexual at 13, then gay at around 18.

wtf is there to cry about? It’s 2026, nobody cares anymore about sexual orientation, there’s nothing horrible about saying that.

get a grip!

DD is gay or bisexual she's not sure she's had a girlfriend for about 8 months now. At first or was strange and even though I had suspicions still a shock.

Like you I don't really care who she dates as long as they are nice to her.

I do worry about her being targeted and hurt for being gay and have warned her about PDA in certain situations but then I used to worry about her dating boys and all the misogyny that some of them seem to have got into.

DD girlfriend is lovely and we get on well she often comes with me to watch DD play sport.

Just keep talking to her interestingly a lot of the teen lesbians hate the rainbow and think pride is a bit shit.

God, why do people have to be so obtuse? 🙄

It is natural to cry and worry. You are grieving the life you thought she would have. It is a shock to begin with. You sound like an amazing mother.

My friend’s daughter told my friend she was gay. My friend was concerned she would be bullied (everyone was very supportive and she didn’t receive any negativity), she was concerned she would never have children (she is currently pregnant with baby number 2). My friend has a lovely relationship with her daughter’s partner.

What do her feelings/ worries about her child have to do with you? You are clearly projecting here!! What are you unhappy about?

Oh come on, it's still a shock and there is still prejudice everywhere, just not so openly. At least she didn't say she was trans.

I get it OP - I have a gay teen DC too. It’s emotional partly because any discussion of sexuality etc (gay, straight, whatever) represents your child growing up and entering that world. That’s a big thing! There is also worry about homophobia - I think that’s natural. However since coming out, my glorious DC has always maintained a quiet confidence in the face of the occasional nasty comment from immature peers - and even organised Pride at their school. They love their identity and I love that for them.

Why are you unpleasant to the woman? She's not bothered that her daughter is gay, but when you bring your kids up you envisage a particular future for them. I'm not saying that is right or wrong but it is what you do. When that child comes out as gay, the future you envisaged gets swept away and replaced with a different perspective, not better, not worse, just different. You cry because you mourn the passing of the future you envisaged before pulling yourself together and looking towards a new and different future. It's OK to cry.