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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband blames Mumsnet

214 replies

Howtorespond · 05/08/2026 23:30

if I challenge my husband’s bullying, or disagree, I’m told “here we go, it’s Mumsnet again”, or “f*ing Mumsnet”, or “what does Mumsnet say”. I’m really worn down.

OP posts:
mumumental · Yesterday 19:52

He has a very weak position.

pinkyredrose · Yesterday 20:06

Howtorespond · Yesterday 17:19

I’m sorry you’ve been through similar, your post has inspired me. I just have this fear of the kids abandoning me which is nuts, I expect xx

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I expect they'll be happy for you.

Original poster
Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:03

ohsosomething · Yesterday 18:27

So how old are you OP?

No loving H would say ‘you sounded retarded etc’. He’s really horrible. You have every right to leave him and be happy, and do so before you potentially end-up having to wipe his arse for him in old age.

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I am 54 x

OP posts:
Original poster
Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:04

AcrossthePond55 · Yesterday 19:18

@Howtorespond

but he’s MUCH worse now he’s getting older.

Google 'grey divorce'. You are not alone. There are many older couples separating or divorcing. AI said the 60% were initiated by the woman, but I have a sneaky suspicion that the actual number might be higher. Plus I think it more likely that an older woman might just leave but not divorce (I have a legal separation for financial reasons). Older men have usually divorced due to finding a younger or just a different woman, that number probably hasn't changed much, but I bet there is a HUGE increase in the number of women who have just said "Oh HELL, no! I'm not putting up with his shit anymore".

I know a couple where she put up with him being 'the Great I Am' and everything having to revolve around him and what he wanted was the way it would be. She was able to do this because he worked long hours and was pretty much home just on the weekends and then he went fishing most of those. But when he announced to her that he was retiring in 3 months, she realized that him being home 24/7 would be the death of her. About 2 weeks after he submitted his formal retirement papers he came home after a day's fishing to find her gone along with half the money in joint accounts, and a letter waiting for him. She's happy as a clam and he still can't figure out why she left, taking half of 'his' money. She was a housewife, he the breadwinner so naturally all the money was 'his'.

Google AI for 'grey divorce UK':
The Over-65 Surge: ONS trends show divorce rates for people aged 65 and over have climbed steeply, even as general divorce numbers fell.
Ages 60–69: Divorce rates for couples in their 60s in England and Wales have more than doubled compared to figures from the 1990s.
Who Initiates: Women over 55 drive roughly 60% of later-life divorces in this cohort.
Proportions: Over 20% of all UK divorces now involve individuals aged 55 and older

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Thank you, that’s so interesting xx

OP posts:
Multiplepillows · Yesterday 21:05

Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:03

I am 54 x

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How old are arr you children?

Original poster
Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:06

Multiplepillows · Yesterday 19:42

He will be snooping and trying to find threads or even access or account. If not already hence all his refs to you being influenced by mumsnet

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Possibly, yes x

OP posts:
Original poster
Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:07

Multiplepillows · Yesterday 21:05

How old are arr you children?

Edited
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Mid 20’s

OP posts:
Original poster
Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:07

Thank you all for your advice e and care. I do appreciate it. I know r y I have to call time on this. Thank you- I’ll update as things progress x

OP posts:
Multiplepillows · Yesterday 21:09

Howtorespond · Yesterday 21:07

Mid 20’s

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They will be cutely aware of how unhappy both their parents are and I think will be relieved more than anything by you ending it

AcrossthePond55 · Yesterday 23:26

@Howtorespond

Best of luck. See that solicitor and remember the words of Christopher Robin: "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think".

Bonnielassi · Today 02:49

Yes, very best of luck OP x

justasking111 · Today 08:41

We knew a couple husband retired was very boorish everyone avoiding his monologues. His wife inherited her parents house and money. She was gone in a flash. I gave her a quiet cheer.

Another wife mid forties left her husband when he inherited a pile of money after yet another affair.

Another mid forties married to an awful man fled with another man for her sanity, she was on so much medication was like a robot. Left the children as well.

Sometimes we break. Sometimes freedom comes through widowhood and I know a fair few merry widows.

Multiplepillows · Today 08:43

justasking111 · Today 08:41

We knew a couple husband retired was very boorish everyone avoiding his monologues. His wife inherited her parents house and money. She was gone in a flash. I gave her a quiet cheer.

Another wife mid forties left her husband when he inherited a pile of money after yet another affair.

Another mid forties married to an awful man fled with another man for her sanity, she was on so much medication was like a robot. Left the children as well.

Sometimes we break. Sometimes freedom comes through widowhood and I know a fair few merry widows.

I take it these are all very very close friends who confide in you!

watchingthishtread · Today 09:20

He copies your voice? That alone is a deal breaker. That's just not on.

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