To find it unfair that my colleagues get to have 3/4 weeks off and I don’t?

[Mrsdoubt]

Last year my colleague was granted 4 weeks off as he got married and went on his honeymoon. Another of my colleagues has just been granted 3 weeks off next year for her wedding and honeymoon. Yet, when I have asked for 2 and a half weeks off I have been declined. They are saying it’s because it’s special circumstances, but I am older than my colleagues and won’t really have any special circumstances other than holidays with my family. AIBU to think it’s unfair that other people in my team get to enjoy 3 or 4 weeks off while I can’t ever have more than 2 weeks?!

It depends if that holiday entitlement is built into your contracts

I would be furious. Tell them you're getting married. And then shame it's called off at the last minute.

Make up a special circumstance, a birthday/ family birthday, wedding?

My workplace is the same, only >2wks for special circumstances but I understand if you’ve no plans to ever get married etc that’s unfair.

Sounds a bit like age discrimination to me, have you mentioned that it looks like that?

refer to your contract/business policy on holidays. Do the stipulate only 2 weeks at a time? If no theyve no leg to stand on. Your holiday us yours to take

Is this paid or unpaid leave?

I've been on the receiving end of this, and agree it is discriminatory. It's none of your employers' business if you get married or not, it's not the 1950s where married people get extra status.

Anybody can get married at any age
so doubt very much age discrimination

I mean, you could have special circumstances. What’s stopping you? It’s quite normal to make exceptions around huge life events (marriage, birth, death).

Its the same where I work. 2 weeks max unless there are special circumstances. Doesn't have to be getting married but you need a very good reason for more than 2 weeks at once.

FFS don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure a colleague in their 50s getting married would be allowed the same time off!

OP, YABU. It’s a special event.

Depends on your contract, I suspect. If it limits holiday to maximum of 2 weeks, other than in special circumstances/by agreement (or similar wording) then I’m afraid I don’t think there is much you can do.

if there is no mention of maximum number of days taken in one single period of leave, you may have a case. Unless there is a clause about leave being subject to agreement or done other clause.

go back to your contract and employers policy documentation regarding annual leave.

My old employer used to give people a day off for their wedding. At the time, gay marriage wasn’t legal in the U.K. so I asked how this was fair to people who weren’t getting married or who couldn’t legally get married. I suggested they give people a day off for birthdays (or 5/10 ‘big’ birthdays) instead.

I never even got a reply and it’s always bothered me that I didn’t push it.

it is in no way discriminatory. The colleagues are allowed time off TO GET MARRIED. Not BECAUSE they are married 🙄

No it doesn’t say it in the contract. We get 30 days plus 8 bank holidays, but if we want more than 2 weeks we have to get permission. But I went on a long haul last year and asked if I could have 17 days and I was declined

It’s paid

So you mean taking more than 10 days of your normal allowance needs special permission?

Not that they are getting extra leave?

Yes that’s right, we all get the same amount of days, but if we want more than 2 weeks continuous we need permission. My permission was declined whereas my colleagues have been granted 3 and 4 weeks

Sounds like you need a special occasion to justify it. We're the same - you want everyone to be able to take long hols but can't do it every year. Maybe a one off mini sabbatical to go travelling?

It takes 20 minutes to get married. Not 4 weeks 🙄

I think having ‘special circumstances’ is a very slippery slope. No, it’s not directly discriminatory as people can and do get married at all ages; but surely people overall are more likely to get married when they’re younger?
It does seem to be privileging one particular life event/choice to the detriment of others.

We have workers from overseas so they have to request similar if they want longer time visiting family back home. I would definitely fight it if mine was then disallowed for a special holiday.

Every where I have worked gives only 2 weeks max, but gives more for wedding/honeymoon.
Get married again if you want the time that badly.

Right so it's 10 days unless you have special permission.

For your company special permission is granted for things like weddings. Not just for a general long haul holiday. Now, having been married twice myself, I can confidently say people may get married more than once, but it's unlikely to be a yearly occurence.

Your 'I fancy a long haul holiday for over 2 weeks...' could be something you fancy yearly. They approve it for one year and they've set a precedent that that's a special occasion and therefore you can have the same every year.

I’ve worked somewhere where they would override 2 week max rule for special or once in a lifetime opportunities.
So eg if you wanted to celebrate 25th wedding anniversary or volunteer trip.
Can you think of a reason to argue case.
It’s harder to argue if it’s just a I’d like 3 weeks in Florida.