To find it unfair that my colleagues get to have 3/4 weeks off and I don’t?

[Mrsdoubt]

Last year my colleague was granted 4 weeks off as he got married and went on his honeymoon. Another of my colleagues has just been granted 3 weeks off next year for her wedding and honeymoon. Yet, when I have asked for 2 and a half weeks off I have been declined. They are saying it’s because it’s special circumstances, but I am older than my colleagues and won’t really have any special circumstances other than holidays with my family. AIBU to think it’s unfair that other people in my team get to enjoy 3 or 4 weeks off while I can’t ever have more than 2 weeks?!

This is called splitting hairs. Pointless.

You also need to believe your employers are idiots.

Cool. I think it’s stupid to be so upset because their colleagues are being given extra time for a wedding.

I would take it to HR, regardless of the “special” circumstances , it needs to be fair and in proportion irrespective of individual circumstances, you could be having a special anniversary/family birthday and equally that could be seen as a special celebration.

Just 'get married again' like you were saying, 'just pop and get a new hoover from the shop' or something.

Yes that’s exactly how I was saying it 🙄

I would be going to HR over this. If they can make arrangements for 3 and 4 weeks off for others, they can give do the same for you, especially after 15 years of working there.

She said for a long haul holiday ffs. 🤦‍♀️ no not just to “prove a point” my god the negativity on here sometimes.

Also you don't need to have more than 2 weeks for a honey moon, and for the vast majority of people they live together first so is in essence just a holiday that's called a honeymoon. Its not the first time they've been away together ir anything...so seems unfair. Many people have a 'mini moon' then longer trip at another time, so difficult to argue its holiday tagged onto a wedding.

Would seem fairer to allow longer than 2 weeks to be agreed in advance no more than once every 3/5 years or whatever...

I would query with HR as a family 'once in a lifetime' holiday before kids get too old to Aus, US, Europe road trip, whatevs is special circumstances. Who decides - what about people who dont get married- its not the 1920s.

what reason were you given for it being refused and who refused yours / approved theirs?

it does seem unfair, got nothing to do with your age tho, I don't see how it's ageist

I think its ridiculous that its usually capped at two weeks, where I am annual leave has to be taken with at least a two week consecutive period by law, so that employees can get a proper break from work. Most people where I work take all 4 weeks at once (4 weeks leave in the summer, 1 in the winter), some will tack on an extra week using banked hours as well.

Ask HR for a definition of special circumstances and apply one, however random, to your next break.

it was the same when i worked in the NHS. We did our best to say yes but not always possible.

by law? In the UK?

You should speak to your HR Dept. (I'm in the US but I'd be surprised if similar doesn't apply in UK). Leave should be granted the same for everyone and not based on the reason for the leave. If that amount of time has been allowed for some it should be allowed for all. Not allowing the same amount of leave to all employees could be breaking some major labor laws and open the company up to a lawsuit.

Wrong.

so if I wanted a few days off for kids sports days, school plays etc I'd be forced to take two whole weekso ff in school time because I'm not texted sufficiently as an adult?

Not in the UK, that's why I said "where I am"
We also get paid a bonus for taking our leave, so holiday pay is 1.5x normal pay, though that's not legally required but its very common.

Two weeks have to be taken in one go, the rest you can take as agreed with your employer so in small chunks or in one go

We don't know why was refused, how many other people were off at that time, whether there were differences in when the leave was requested.

I got 3 weeks off in the April for my wedding. It would have caused a lot more angst I ntbe middle of the school holidays as it would have meant less people could be off for childcare. It also ran Mon-Fri for 3 weeks so impacted 3 weeks.

Ops 17 days could be Fri, Mom-Fri, Mom-Fri, Mon-Fri, Mon meaning 5 weeks where someone else can't take a full week for cover reasons

So it’s discriminatory based on relationship status. People who never marry but otherwise could do with the extra leave never get it.

Well basically, my granddaughter wanted to go to Thailand, we usually do a family holiday to Spain or Greece but she wanted to do something a bit different and go on a bigger holiday for a bit longer. I think it just wasn’t seen as a special occasion, just a holiday. But the reality is, I’m not going to have any “special occasions” a big family holiday to me IS a special occasion. They’re talking about Australia for next year but I’m just thinking there’s no way they will let me if they wouldn’t even let me have a few extra days previously. It just feels unfair that my colleagues will be able to go off on a 3 week holiday after they’re married but I never will until I retire

Surely this is just something you would book a couple of days annual leave for? It's nobody's business what reason people are using their annual leave for.

This happened with me except i was declined 2 weeks 2 days for my wedding and honeymoon while my colleague got 3 weeks so she could do a driving holiday due to her husband’s fear of flying

Without wishing you to be too "outing", are you in an industry where there is "continuous production". ie the organisation works 24/7 and all leave has to be covered ?

My auntie married a chap whose parents owned a building firm. The only time they closed the site was Christmas and New Year weeks. So when the happy couple decided to get married, they were told to pick a day in those two weeks.
Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day were ruled out so they didn't have a lot of options !
I believe they got married midweek.