To find it unfair that my colleagues get to have 3/4 weeks off and I don’t?

[Mrsdoubt]

Last year my colleague was granted 4 weeks off as he got married and went on his honeymoon. Another of my colleagues has just been granted 3 weeks off next year for her wedding and honeymoon. Yet, when I have asked for 2 and a half weeks off I have been declined. They are saying it’s because it’s special circumstances, but I am older than my colleagues and won’t really have any special circumstances other than holidays with my family. AIBU to think it’s unfair that other people in my team get to enjoy 3 or 4 weeks off while I can’t ever have more than 2 weeks?!

Ask for the policy that states this and then put in grievance for indirect discrimination. Personally I would go sick just to be petty.....

It’s common in public sector places in my experience. My employer was happy to sign off on wedding/holiday/extended paternity ( before the changes in regulation). I used to make a case for everyone in my team to have longer off when it went on to SLT for approval. It seemed unfair to me otherwise.

Maybe next time say your grand child is celebrating something special

It would be discrimination against people who married before starting to work there , or people who don’t want to get married or cannot find anyone to marry. You cannot offer extended leave only for a wedding or honeymoon and for no other reason

I'm guessing they can do what they want though, as the law only states the minimum annual leave that must be given employees. Op says she has 30 days annual leave a year (which is pretty decent). It's just the rule they can only take up to 2 weeks at a time.

😆 family holiday is not a life event.

I’d be asking for a list of what is deemed a special circumstance. I would also be asking how they come to the conclusion that something is special or not.

My previous workplace gave us an extra week of paid leave as a wedding present so was able to do 4 weeks away for our wedding and honeymoon which was amazing .. it was such a nice thing to do for a once in a life time event.. definitely don't ruin it for others

I can remember a colleague discussing this point with a senior manager as they were planning to go to Australia. They asked for a time of the year when it was quieter at work and holidays and pointed out that they would be around more during busier times, and it was going to be a one off. It was agreed. It might be worth talking to your manager in the same way before asking for particular dates.

Your colleagues presumably only get married and go on honeymoon once . So of you want a once in a lifetime extended holiday just contrive to be "ill" while you are away and come back late because you were ti ill to travel. But not a stunt you can pull off more than once.,

To each person, their own circumstance/occasion/reason is extremely important to them. To me, my holiday or requirement for 3 weeks leave in one block for whatever reason is just as important to me as someone getting married is to them. Thats my point. For someone else to decide what is more important than something else is unfair and wrong.

When requesting leave, the only criteria used when deciding it can be authorised should be how many other people are off at that time. That’s it. Nothing else. A reason shouldn’t even be asked about. If the leave is available as no one else has booked that time or there is enough cover, it should be given. Thats it.

Nothing else. No decision as to what’s important enough to be saying yes to.

If I want to use my leave sitting on the settee watching TV for 3 weeks, as long as there’s sufficient people in work, where I work that would be granted. I’d not be asked why I was booking it.

Bit late when she has already asked, and been refused the leave.

It does seem unfair. They are deciding that one employee’s time or choices is more important than another’s.
I find it hard to believe that you having the extra few days would have some sort of disastrous effect on your organisation.

I would be working to rule and doing absolutely nothing for them other than what is strictly contractually required.

Sounds like a fairly toxic workplace - I'd be looking for somewhere else to work.

Well, a wedding is a special event, so they're not wrong. Other than a birth, death or moving house (and 3 out of 4 of those things can happen at any age), those are probably the few main 'life events' that would warrant an extended leave period and exceptional handling.

TBH, nearly all employment contracts will state holiday approvals are at a line manager's discretion, so if they can't cover a 3+ week period as standard, then this doesn't sound unreasonable.

I can't recall an instance where either me or one of my direct report's has had a holiday period of greater than 2 weeks requested. One exception was a member of my team that took 2 weeks holiday + and additional 1 week remote working because she was travelling across the world to visit family members.

People really need to become more familiar with the employment contracts they're signed with, and learn how to negotiate on terms. I saw this on another post this week about a OP's DS who failed his probation for being regularly 5 mins late to work. Unless these special conditions or allowances are ratified in an employment contract, you cannot expect anything above and beyond what you signed up for (even if it does feel unfair at times)

God, employees like you are a nightmare. I wouldn't be surprised if that flounce activity will get you on a PIP eventually and managed out.

A wedding is (presumed) once in a lifetime. The manager's explanation is completely reasonable, and I put big money on the fact that there is in fact a policy stating exactly this (which will essentially be along the lines that holiday approvals are at line manager's discretion).

Overly entitled employees like this that end up pulling a sickie out of protest will only end up in holiday entitlement being cracked down on even more strictly (i.e only one team member at a time taking time off, needing 6 weeks noticed for all booked holiday, and no exceptions for any life events).

Yes, like a small child wanting something a sibling has been given. Although they wouldn't be interested otherwise.

Behave, a holiday of a lifetime to Asia is of the same level to a older person whos probably already been married. Like I said indirect discrimination.

And I wouldnt be put on a PiP because I don't work for employers who are bias or childish.

Blimey, I have never heard of this before. How rubbish. I have done DIY long haul trips for decades, and always just go for the amount of days that makes sense for the destination I want to go to. That rarely adds up to 14 nights. Especially if you are traveling around South America or SE Asia. Doing NZ or Australia wouldn't really work for 14 nights. Gosh, places like this are essentially dictating how you take your holidays. Travel is so important to me, I could never work somewhere like that. I absolutely love my job, but my priority is living a meaningful life doing things I enjoy and value. That includes world travel as I have wanderlust.

Sorry, nothing to help you OP, I do think it's very unfair. You won't be taking more than your annual entitlement so not sure what skin it would be off people's noses.

I work in a sector with a lot of immigrant workers (long haul countries). They are frequently given 3-4 weeks leave at a time to visit their families, which no one objects to at all, but everyone can do the same if they choose. Everyone is treated the same.

Throwing a sickie leaving others to pick up the slack because you didn't get a holiday request approved is the epitome of childish behaviour. They're your employer, not your mother. That is 100% PiP territory, and if your employer would allow that - well, that's a shitshow waiting to happen, so enjoy it while it lasts.

And it's hardly a 'holiday of a lifetime' when it was Thailand last year and Australia next year... clearly OP would like to have this entitlement every year (probably at the expense of other colleagues in their team that would mean it limits their ability to take time off).

OP isn't the only one with family/children or wants to take a nice holiday. OP asking for the precedent with her every year / every other year would mean them opening up that policy for every other employee. During school holiday and summer holiday season no less. Anyone who can't fathom that might create an issue and therefore mgmt needing to set some parameters, clearly has never managed people/teams.

Anyway, having done 2 trips to Asia myself, 2 weeks duration (maybe 15-16 days with a well timed weekend flight/bank holiday) is completely reasonable without feeling short changed. It's Thailand, not Saturn.

I thought this was standard

a big celebration will be usually be allowed but companies can’t have all staff off for such long periods of time it becomes a nightmare to manage rotas

Employer can by law tell you, within reason, when and how to take your holidays. They can reject dates, lengths etc. It does not need to be stipulated in your contract.

Such as they can say you can't have any days off in term time, or October/November/December as they are your businesses peak times, or certain dates as there are Project deadlines, or more than 2 weeks as there is not enough staff coverage. They can also state which days you can have off - such as you must use two weeks over Christmas or a week at Easter if they close.

What they cannot do is have rules that prevent you taking your leave within the year, or mess around taking too long to refuse a request.

Its none of the employer's business why you are going on leave. They shouldn't even ask and given they've approved longer than standard leave for others once each they should approve it for your first request too, provided you give sufficient notice. Given your long service record I would have thought if anyone was going to get a longer break it should be you!

It is unfair. My workplace has a similar rule but it does seem fairly flexible, a colleague just got 3 weeks approved for a trip to Thailland.

I don't think they would want to do it all the time because most people prefer to spread their time off over the year, not take a big chunk of it all at once.

@Mrsdoubt

The reason he gave was that he can only grant it for certain circumstances/special occasions rather than just a holiday.

Then I would ask for a list of exactly what constitutes a 'special occasion'. In writing.

Then I'd try to figure if my trip to Australia next year might be able to have 'special occasion' in it!