Page 6 | To find it unfair that my colleagues get to have 3/4 weeks off and I don’t?

DancingLions · 05/08/2026 16:21

God, what a depressing thread. So many people not able to take more than 2 weeks leave. That's crap if you're going long haul.

Everywhere I've worked, yes you had to ask permission but it was rarely refused. Most employers should be organised enough and have enough staff to allow a week or so extra. Possibly different in a small business but larger employers really should.

I've been taking all my big trips prior to retirement as my health probably won't make travel easy when I am retired. I couldn't work somewhere that never allowed more than 2 weeks.

RosieHosie · 05/08/2026 16:22

At the first company I worked at, you got an extra week's leave if you got married. I nearly got two weeks as got married twice in a relatively short space of time. I left the company just before the second wedding though.

I wouldn't want to take most of my a/l in one go, as I'd really struggle the rest of the year.

Curleywoo · 05/08/2026 16:22

LastMinuteAgain · 05/08/2026 15:28

This happens at my work too - single parent got the whole of August, therefore no holiday for me in August (we cover for each other)I complained as I also have a school aged child - my youngest doesn't need childcare, but is in an exam year next year (and she also had June half term - she works four days but still gets 30 days holiday) and I am not okay with not being able to visit family abroad with him due to not being allowed to take time off in school holidays. I wouldn't mind as much if she didn't openly over share the fact that her ex, her parents and her ex's parents all have her child during the holidays and she "needs" the downtime without her child during the school holiday...

I did get a week and a half of August when I complained - I didn't ask for longer and my boss pointed out they'll be in a really tricky position with neither of us there, but I don't care any more, they shouldn't have assumed I'd lump zero time off with my kid to give her five weeks with (and partially without) hers!

More than two weeks is against our policy too, so I didn't expect her to have put in for the whole of August and was initially willing to work around whatever her ex and parents and holiday clubs left her needing, but all bets are off as she asked for the lot and flagged it as for caring responsibilities, knowing I also have a school age kid and family abroad!

Something similar happened to me and I was furious as I had been very obliging for 3 Christmases.

The Department Head was playing favourites in my opinion and two other colleagues were going on mat leave shortly and I would be expected to cover some of their work.
I was pissed and was done being obliging.

I started looking about for a move as it was the push I needed, and when a good enough move fell into my lap I resigned.

I copied several other people besides my HoD and HR, and informed them I would be taking my considerable accumulated leave effect 4 days from my resignation, which was the beginning of December.

When my HoD's boss quickly asked for a word and asked what was going on, I explained to him that I wasn't accepting the unfair holiday allocation.

I dropped him completely in it over his behaviour, and because of it I would be taking all my leave.

The timing couldn't be worse for them but I didn't care, I was taking an extended holiday over the entire Christmas/NY period before I started my new job, which had been denied to me for the past 3 years.

It was a complete mess and the two women going on mat leave were relieved to be leaving it behind.
HoD was gone when they returned.

OllysArmyRidesAgain · 05/08/2026 16:23

in my last company they had the 2-week rule. I think it was actually 11 days just to sound generous. It didn’t matter to many employees because the pay wasn’t great and they mostly seemed the type who didn’t go away for more than a week. But for some like
me it was an issue, we then started to get asked to justify why and to be told if it was allowed it would be a one off never to be repeated. It wasn’t possible to book through the online system so you had to make an appointment to discuss your plans with the boss. It was discriminatory as they decided if your reason was good enough. Like the OP if it was for a wedding it would be granted but because you had always wanted to go to Florida was unlikely to get the go ahead. And they wondered why they had trouble keeping staff. It’s one of the key factors for me leaving after 10 years I’d had enough of the restrictions and wanted the freedom to travel long haul.
To be fair getting shorter holiday approved was easy as you just added it to the system, line managers were supposed to sign off but as they were mostly quite inept and didn’t look to see who else was off it was always a mess. There was one summer when there was a 3 week period where there were so few staff working that the company couldn’t function.

Pinkissmart · 05/08/2026 16:25

Surely it’s unpaid, and on a case by case basis?
Wouldn’t the bigger problem be that you are so restricted with how much of your holiday you can take at once?

Original poster

Mrsdoubt · 05/08/2026 16:28

SleepingStandingUp · 05/08/2026 16:20

You haven't answered any of e questions I asked.

Why did they sat no?

Who said no?

Is it the same manager as the others?

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Oh sorry! Yes it’s the manager who we need to ask, and the manager who said yes to them and no to me. The reason he gave was that he can only grant it for certain circumstances/special occasions rather than just a holiday. I just accepted it but now that my other colleague has been granted 3 weeks I’m feeling like I was treated unfairly

OP posts:

Manxexile · 05/08/2026 16:33

Would this be unlawful discrimination based on marriage status?

igelkott2026 · 05/08/2026 16:34

Natsku · 05/08/2026 15:05

I think its ridiculous that its usually capped at two weeks, where I am annual leave has to be taken with at least a two week consecutive period by law, so that employees can get a proper break from work. Most people where I work take all 4 weeks at once (4 weeks leave in the summer, 1 in the winter), some will tack on an extra week using banked hours as well.

I'd hate that. The last time I went away for more than a week at a time (well, a week plus a Friday and a Monday tacked on) was 2009! I much prefer short breaks. I know it's required in certain financial services companies in the UK too.

4 weeks in one go is insane when it's every year. What happens if you need leave because someone is ill or indeed for a wedding or just to get something done in the house if you've used most of it all up in one go.

Original poster

Mrsdoubt · 05/08/2026 16:34

Pinkissmart · 05/08/2026 16:25

Surely it’s unpaid, and on a case by case basis?
Wouldn’t the bigger problem be that you are so restricted with how much of your holiday you can take at once?

It’s not unpaid

OP posts:

Malasana · 05/08/2026 16:35

Trainup · 05/08/2026 16:20

It seems fair to me. They’ve got to draw the line somewhere. Weddings and honeymoons are special occasions. You fancying a longer break.. well then everyone else could jump on that too and then you’d have lots of 3 week breaks which presumably doesn’t work well for the company.

But everyone’s reasons is special and important to them. Why is a wedding more special than someone wanting to spend extended time with family who live away for example?

GenXandtired · 05/08/2026 16:44

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 13:34

I think having ‘special circumstances’ is a very slippery slope. No, it’s not directly discriminatory as people can and do get married at all ages; but surely people overall are more likely to get married when they’re younger?
It does seem to be privileging one particular life event/choice to the detriment of others.

I guess you could go on holiday any time, but you don't get married every year so it's self limiting.

I'd get engaged pronto. It's not like they can ask for proof. I might make it an annual event. If places are going to have stupid rules that they enforce to the letter, they deserve the consequences of people complying with the rules. That's FAIR (I am very grumpy about repeatedly getting the dirty end of the stick lately and may be feeling a tad bolshy. This is only semi tongue in cheek!)

Differentforgirls · 05/08/2026 16:53

Mrsdoubt · 05/08/2026 13:21

No it doesn’t say it in the contract. We get 30 days plus 8 bank holidays, but if we want more than 2 weeks we have to get permission. But I went on a long haul last year and asked if I could have 17 days and I was declined

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3 weeks and 2 days then?

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 16:54

GenXandtired · 05/08/2026 16:44

I guess you could go on holiday any time, but you don't get married every year so it's self limiting.

I'd get engaged pronto. It's not like they can ask for proof. I might make it an annual event. If places are going to have stupid rules that they enforce to the letter, they deserve the consequences of people complying with the rules. That's FAIR (I am very grumpy about repeatedly getting the dirty end of the stick lately and may be feeling a tad bolshy. This is only semi tongue in cheek!)

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I guess you could go on holiday any time
This issue isn't about when you go away, though, it's the duration.

Chilly80 · 05/08/2026 17:12

Same in my work 2 weeks unless special circumstances or its January or November as those are low holiday periods

user1471538283 · 05/08/2026 17:17

This is unfair. Regardless of what you use leave for if someone can have 4 weeks you all can.

It's always the same with Christmas as well with colleagues with younger DC taking priority. I never did when mine were younger because it isn't fair.

This just builds up resentment and takes away any goodwill.

I'd go to the union.

TeethAreImportant · 05/08/2026 17:17

Mrsdoubt · 05/08/2026 13:00

Last year my colleague was granted 4 weeks off as he got married and went on his honeymoon. Another of my colleagues has just been granted 3 weeks off next year for her wedding and honeymoon. Yet, when I have asked for 2 and a half weeks off I have been declined. They are saying it’s because it’s special circumstances, but I am older than my colleagues and won’t really have any special circumstances other than holidays with my family. AIBU to think it’s unfair that other people in my team get to enjoy 3 or 4 weeks off while I can’t ever have more than 2 weeks?!

No 40th, 50th or 60th birthday celebrations coming up for you or spouse? Special wedding anniversaries? These are on par with a wedding and honeymoon I think.

GenXandtired · 05/08/2026 17:18

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 16:54

I guess you could go on holiday any time
This issue isn't about when you go away, though, it's the duration.

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Sorry, I meant all the time. So you could ask to go long haul every year. But you likely wouldn't get married every year. Although there is no actual reason you couldn't....

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 17:18

GenXandtired · 05/08/2026 17:18

Sorry, I meant all the time. So you could ask to go long haul every year. But you likely wouldn't get married every year. Although there is no actual reason you couldn't....

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Ah, OK!

Waterbaby41 · 05/08/2026 17:31

Mrsdoubt · 05/08/2026 16:28

Oh sorry! Yes it’s the manager who we need to ask, and the manager who said yes to them and no to me. The reason he gave was that he can only grant it for certain circumstances/special occasions rather than just a holiday. I just accepted it but now that my other colleague has been granted 3 weeks I’m feeling like I was treated unfairly

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Both the circumstances you describe are special occasions rather than extended holidays.

MistyMountainTop · 05/08/2026 17:32

godmum56 · 05/08/2026 15:08

by law? In the UK?

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The FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) enforces a minimum 2 week holiday at least once a year for workers in the financial sector, and more than 2 weeks is encouraged. Barings Bank is the historical reason for this, I believe!

Wherever I worked (not finance!), I never had any problem taking more than 2 weeks holiday to match DH. It was just as easy to get 3 weeks cover as 2 weeks, especially if it happened to fall in a quiet period between projects, or towards the end of a project.

There has been research done that shows workers need at least a 10 day break for a holiday to be beneficial

godmum56 · 05/08/2026 17:37

GenXandtired · 05/08/2026 17:18

Sorry, I meant all the time. So you could ask to go long haul every year. But you likely wouldn't get married every year. Although there is no actual reason you couldn't....

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But if you asked (at least when i was in the NHS) for specially long leave to go on a special holiday one year, then you wouldn't have got agreement to do it again the next year. For us it wasn't so much about the reason as making sure that everyone got a fair shot at leave.

OutOfTheOtherSide · 05/08/2026 17:42

murasaki · 05/08/2026 13:06

Sounds a bit like age discrimination to me, have you mentioned that it looks like that?

Age discrimination - how? Are they not giving the same flexibility to older staff who get married?

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 17:45

OutOfTheOtherSide · 05/08/2026 17:42

Age discrimination - how? Are they not giving the same flexibility to older staff who get married?

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I'd think people overall are more likely to get married when they’re younger. Happy to be corrected though.

godmum56 · 05/08/2026 17:48

MistyMountainTop · 05/08/2026 17:32

The FCA (Financial Conduct Authority) enforces a minimum 2 week holiday at least once a year for workers in the financial sector, and more than 2 weeks is encouraged. Barings Bank is the historical reason for this, I believe!

Wherever I worked (not finance!), I never had any problem taking more than 2 weeks holiday to match DH. It was just as easy to get 3 weeks cover as 2 weeks, especially if it happened to fall in a quiet period between projects, or towards the end of a project.

There has been research done that shows workers need at least a 10 day break for a holiday to be beneficial

Edited

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yes that (Barings) immediately sprung to mind when I read your post! We couldn't have (or find) cover so when someone took leave either the waiting list for patients to be seen got longer or people did extra hours and got toil. We didn't operate at weekends so 5 days of leave got people a 9 day break.

ChocolateApples · 05/08/2026 17:54

AlwaysExtraHot · 05/08/2026 13:34

I think having ‘special circumstances’ is a very slippery slope. No, it’s not directly discriminatory as people can and do get married at all ages; but surely people overall are more likely to get married when they’re younger?
It does seem to be privileging one particular life event/choice to the detriment of others.

This is why people refuse to make exceptions. Because then everyone wants one. But I'd honestly rather work in an office where people get three weeks for their wedding.