To find it unfair that my colleagues get to have 3/4 weeks off and I don’t?

[Mrsdoubt]

Last year my colleague was granted 4 weeks off as he got married and went on his honeymoon. Another of my colleagues has just been granted 3 weeks off next year for her wedding and honeymoon. Yet, when I have asked for 2 and a half weeks off I have been declined. They are saying it’s because it’s special circumstances, but I am older than my colleagues and won’t really have any special circumstances other than holidays with my family. AIBU to think it’s unfair that other people in my team get to enjoy 3 or 4 weeks off while I can’t ever have more than 2 weeks?!

Well no, the time off is for their honeymoon, not the marriage ceremony itself. As the pp said, that doesnt take 4 weeks. So the time off is quite literally because they are married not to get married, as the whole point of a honeymoon is you have to get married first to qualify. Otherwise you're just on holiday.

🙄

I think in most places that length of leave would be frowned upon and heavily discouraged. In special circumstances I can see why, but realistically 2.5 weeks for just a holiday is very disruptive!

We have similar in our contract, it says something like for only 2 weeks, only with prior agreement at Director Level, x amount advance notice and with a special reason - e.g can't just be a standard holiday. And an exclusion on our year ended period. People have been given 3-4 weeks to go to a family occasion in India, New Zealand etc from the UK, travel for a significant birthday, wedding, big holiday cruise for 60th etc, funerals, volunteer at commonwealth games, support a disability organisation at. youth camp, do a big special holiday e.g whole family occasion, golden wedding etc planned 1.5 to 2 years in advance.

In practice, they are quite flexible when business needs permit but we have a lot of small technical teams and holidays do need to be covered. So they won't approve anyone having 3-4 weeks off at end of year ever (obviously doesn't apply to death in family, significant illness etc but no large chunks of pre planned leave will ever be approved then).

Someone got 3+ weeks to camper van round America a couple of years ago, making a lot of fuss about it being a big deal for them, equivalent to a wedding etc. Then the same person asked for another two separate big blocks for very similar reasons the following year and was using you agreed before as a reason for them not to turn it down. So now the company is much less keen than before to approve unless it really is something outstanding.8 i8

But a honeymoon is part of the wedding time off, as it follows the wedding. A honeymoon isn’t a standard holiday. It’s a (normally!) one-off.

Depends on how far advance you are asking for it? Sounds like these requests by your colleagues were also made very far in advance...

I've refused periods of long leave before. Rule for us is typically: one month of notice for every week of leave you want. If you want three weeks off, we'd need at least three months notice.

Time of year can also factor into it. I'd be more minded to allow something long in August/July as it's quieter than in say October/November when we're under immense pressure.

Sounds like your company has very specific criteria, which you don't meet.

I don’t know- at my work everyone can take up to 15 days without any special permission.

doesnt cause any issues.

I feel for you! I had a colleague whose son was studying architecture and he seemed to have 'graduations' and presentations regularly for which his mother expected to be allowed paid time off, usually 2 or 3 days. When our daughter graduated, 250 miles away and at 10am I asked for a couple of days and our Head was a bit sniffy about it, this when I had not seen either of our daughters receive their GCSE or A level certificates.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

YABU. It's quite standard.

Our policy is the same - 2 weeks max other than extenuating circumstances by request which would generally be something like a honeymoon. Can you appeal the rejection or ask for a time when there is plenty of cover? If its contracted not much you can do

My job at a university (before I retired) allowed extra holidays for ‘life events’. We went from UK to Australia for 8 weeks to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. I took leave across 2 x annual allowances and minimised disruption by making the majority of the holiday over uni Easter vacation, so at least I did think about it. But I guess that’s public sector for you. And I only did it the once in 25 years. Maybe you need your own ‘life event’.

In Spain you get three weeks paid leave in addition to annual leave if you get married. Most women come back pregnant🤔

Invent a favoured niece having a baby and you’re going to stay with her for 3 weeks. They are being unfair and do not deserve your honesty.

I think they allow it for weddings/honeymoons because it’s a one off, and the person is not going to come back and ask for the same the next year

If you can promise yours is a one off request and you won’t be asking for more than 2 weeks in future, it may be looked on more favourably

You’re right OP. It’s discriminatory. It’s all still a holiday at the end of the day.

How long have you been there?

15 years

You don’t get it because you’re not getting married.

what do you need 2.5 weeks off for? Just to prove a point?

So obviously you should lie about getting married or something similar to be granted the two weeks+.

My OH has the same rule, we lied about getting married so we could have 16 days off for a trip to Australia to see family

Announce you're getting married-take your two weeks.
When your two weeks is up, tell them he jilted you and you need two months in order for your mental health to recover.

It might sound ridiculous, but where I used to work we had to stop offering long service leave because someone complained they had less of a chance to earn it because of their age. I thought it was insane, but the policy still got scrapped.

Id probably be consulting my union over this.

Seems reasonable to make an exception for a wedding tbh.

Otherwise everyone would want to do it all the time.

You need to get a full and honest reason for it being declined, I expect it is possibly because you may have asked for the time off at the same time as someone else which would leave them short staffed?

Extended leave needs to be booked up to 12 months in advance normally, so asking in May for an August break would likely result in a no as someone else may have already had theirs authorised.