AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

[Weightloss1234]

I have name changed for this to not link to other posts. But keep a long story short I have lost over 1 1/2 stone since June. I feel absolutely great and I know I look good, lots of people in work have mentioned it to me.
Here’s where my AIBU comes in. I was at a family gathering the other day…with people I have not seen in a while and some I have seen on and off! Not one person said anything. Now I know I don’t need validation for others. And I do understand that a lot of people are hesitant to comment on peoples appearance but when someone looks good and I know they’ve worked hard in themselves I always say it to them. I just feel a bit deflated I suppose. I know IABU! But it still hurts a little…

I would never comment. It seems rude. The person might be ill or stressed. Then what do you say if the weight goes back on? It’s a minefield.

but in this case they know I’m not I’ll or stressed! I’m very happy

But do you want them to comment if the weight goes back on? Did you want them to comment a couple of months ago before you lost the weight?

I understand that it’s a big difference for you. I’ve spent most of my adult life around 8st and I’m currently nearly 9st. I’ve slowly gained this stone over the last 18 months. I hate it and feel ‘too big’ for me. I’m working hard to gradually lose it (it will take me much longer than you!). I would really hate for someone to comment on this stone I’ve gained. Equally, I will not want someone commenting when I get back to 8st, as it feels like it’s acknowledging this gain. Not sure if that makes sense?

I think that if you want to discuss your weight loss with someone, you need to start the conversation. It’s really unfair for us to expect other people to read our minds to know if we are wanting comments or not.

As I said before, well done! I’m amazed you’ve lost so much so quickly. I’m the same height as you, and based on my current rate, I’m expecting it to take me at least 6 months (maybe a year) to lose this stone that I’ve gradually gained over the last 18 months.

Yes but it still seems rude. I wouldn’t comment on someone if they were overweight, underweight or normal BMI. It feels judgy to do so and none of my business. I’m glad society has moved on from these sort of comments being ok to make. Certainly there was a whole generation above mine (I’m in my 50s) obsessed with their weight and it was bad enough for my gen.

And if the weight goed back on? Awkward as then youd think they didnt like how you looked before.

Maybe the think you looked better bigger? Maybe they dont care. Honestly you need to not care about this.

THIS !
Also , I think it implies that someone didn’t look great before !

Someone at work lost 3 stone - A colleague mentioned it
I didn’t notice because she is still so big !

Commenting on peoples weight is taboo these days. They may well have noticed but didn't want to say anything. You've done great and should be proud of yourself. I wouldn't worry too much if people didn't comment.

I’ve lost 4.5 stone after a heart attack.

Family party ‘we were warned about your appearance’
Last family party I’ll go to, rude cunts

So what proportion of your bodyweight is this 10kg? Is it particularly noticeable? Did you change your clothing since the majority last saw you, ie were you wearing summer v winter or vice versa? Are you known to be conscious about your weight, talk about it a lot, spending a lot of effort to diet and people know it? It's all cagey stuff, have you been known to be receptive to compliments/comments? Has this happened before and you then gain the weight back? How would you feel if someone said you've got a bit curvier?

Less than two stone really mightn’t be that noticeable!?

You sound very fixated, OP. They either didn’t notice or didn’t feel it was appropriate to comment. If you really don’t need validation then just forget it and move on.

I wouldn't have commented because I'd have assumed you'd crash dieted or been ill to lose that much weight in eight weeks.

Healthy weight loss should only be 1-2 lbs a week so I'd plan on losing no more than 10lbs in that amount of time. I guess mathematically June to now is actually getting on for 10 weeks and if you lost 20lbs then it's actually just about what it should be. However, I know that every lb I try to lose under 11st is much more likely to be in the 1lb every fortnight category...

So people are probably going to assume you'll put it all back on and haven't said anything!

Honestly, you sound needy and high maintenance. Why do you need them to comment?

1 1/2 stone? People who you don't have regular contact with? Get over yourself. How on Earth do you expect them to notice? Do you think the only thing in their lives is monitoring the ounces that you gain or lose between the months that they see you? LOL.