AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

[Weightloss1234]

I have name changed for this to not link to other posts. But keep a long story short I have lost over 1 1/2 stone since June. I feel absolutely great and I know I look good, lots of people in work have mentioned it to me.
Here’s where my AIBU comes in. I was at a family gathering the other day…with people I have not seen in a while and some I have seen on and off! Not one person said anything. Now I know I don’t need validation for others. And I do understand that a lot of people are hesitant to comment on peoples appearance but when someone looks good and I know they’ve worked hard in themselves I always say it to them. I just feel a bit deflated I suppose. I know IABU! But it still hurts a little…

About 18 stone and wears baggy clothes. I didn’t have a clue but was very complimentary when I was told!

This just reminds me of the Peter Kay routine about “losing 14 stone in a DAY!”

Big losses are common in the first few weeks. I’ve never heard that big, but it is usual to lose lots of weight at first as your body drops water weight and there’s obviously a huge calorie reduction from cutting out take aways and full fat drinks.

It’s after that initial loss it gets much (much) harder to get off and keep off.

I think people are funny around weight loss, and dont want to offend. If it helps, I've lost 2.5 stone since I had my baby, my mil asked me if I was still going to the gym and was it actually working for me🙄😅

I just brush away those comments, the fact is, people have told you look good and you know it too. Keep up the great work

I never mention anyone’s weight. It is rude.

To be honest if you lost significant weight like that in a 7-8 week period I would assume you had been using the jab, so I wouldn't be congratulating you on that. I am also 5"2 trying to loose a stone or 2 and it just isn't as easy as you say. I play netball 3 times a week, have 2 small children, am active and eating well. Kindly I just don't think you have lost weight by eating better and walking. So in short, if I saw you I would assume you had been injecting and to be honest I don't think that deserves a congratulations. Loosing that much weight quickly often doesn't look great immediately, your face will probably look sunken based on what you have said. Well done on the weight loss - perhaps focus on that.

I can’t tell looking at photos of myself or in a mirror when I’ve lost a stone. I regularly put on and lose a stone (not healthy I know) but I don’t think it’s as noticeable as you think.

Jealous x

Weightloss is not a one size fits all approach.
why would I lie? I changed my diet and walked more…there’s not much more I can say. No doctor is going to prescribe a 10st woman a jab for weight loss!

Some people take the view that’s it’s impolite to comment on weight loss or weight gain.
Your weight is your business. You shouldn’t look for affirmation on this issue because it can have negative affects ( eg trigger eating disorders) if there is too much chat about how brilliant someone looks because “they’ve lost weight” .
Better for others just to say “you look great “ and not comment on your weight loss .

I didn’t comment on a friend’s weight loss once because they looked unwell and I was worried about putting my foot in it.

This. 10st is quite slim unless you are short statured.

Why not at least read rhe ops comments, she is five foot 2 and it was over weight.

So many people are in the jabs now, so it does just feel different to comment

Yes, that’s exactly the right thing to say. I have lost a significant amount this year and have heard it all! Most people have said nothing at all - these are mainly colleagues, particularly male colleagues and those higher up. Friends and family have been with me all the way and some colleagues have been either quietly supportive with the odd comment or loudly supportive, wanting all the gossip! But the best comment was a colleague who told me I was looking well - it complemented me without specific reference to my weight but also opened the door to discussion if I wanted to go there. I didn’t - we just smiled knowingly at each other other.

I have to say, it feels more important as I lose more to say less. I am still the same person on the inside. My morals, values, likes and dislikes are the same. I don’t feel somehow ‘better’ with less weight on me, I still feel like….me. I don’t want to be friends with those who avoided me before but who now seem to expect me to tell them my life story. No. Just no.

If it makes you feel better, a few people have recently asked me - as opposed to stated- if I’ve lost weight. I’ve lost 7 1/2 stone!

I never mention weight gain or loss. I was taught that it was rude. Did they say you look well? That’s the euphemism.

Two friends of mine were complimented on weight loss shortly before they died. My millennial relatives have also re-educated the whole family into not commenting on others’ bodies and that’s a good thing. They’ve even convinced elderly aunts that it’s shallow to assess others’ appearances and that weight/appearance can fluctuate due to health.

Congratulations on your weight loss! It's really rude to comment on people's weight. You don't know if they are unwell, going through a trauma etc... don't take it personally!

I would feel deflated too. I imagine it’s pretty obvious that you’ve lost weight going from a size 12 to an 8.

The only thing I can think of is that they think you look too thin? You would still expect people to comment on your weight loss though.

I never comment on people’s weight loss or weight gain

You cannot possibly be naive enough to believe all the people using the jabs are prescribed them by legitimate doctors! Every other dodgy online site is peddling them plus some very questionable social media salespeople! I have a colleague who wanted to go from a size 10 to an 8 post-baby and managed to get hold of them!

I think people are less likely to comment on weight loss when you weren’t fat to begin with.

Yes, a BMI might say overweight, but very few people look fat or obese at 10 stone.

Looking like you have weight to lose is probably reserved for the obese, the real big folk (like me 😂) and I’d assume that if my 9st best friend lost the weight I have, she wouldn’t get a congratulations. Or even a response.

She didn’t have the fat stigma to begin with.

I’d never dream of mentioning someone’s weight loss unless they’d made it clear they were trying to lose weight.

I might notice it, but inwardly I’d be thinking “if I mention it, they’ll think I thought they were fat before”. So I expect they were just being polite.

I have no idea how you get them I never even looked into it…I don’t care how others lose weight. If that’s what they want then that’s what they want. It’s not something I entertained.I just changed my diet and did more walking.

How ridiculous. I agree that loads of people are on the jabs, but if I was tracking/restricting my calories and upping my activity levels (and doing it properly) I could lose that weight in two months (and have done in the past)

People don’t all have the same metabolism, and some people’s idea of eating well isn’t actually that great. I know people that claim to be watching their diet and I still see them snacking on junk/drinking too much alcohol. You have to be honest with yourself and track everything properly/be in calorie deficit (I’m not saying it’s easy btw!)