AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

[Weightloss1234]

I have name changed for this to not link to other posts. But keep a long story short I have lost over 1 1/2 stone since June. I feel absolutely great and I know I look good, lots of people in work have mentioned it to me.
Here’s where my AIBU comes in. I was at a family gathering the other day…with people I have not seen in a while and some I have seen on and off! Not one person said anything. Now I know I don’t need validation for others. And I do understand that a lot of people are hesitant to comment on peoples appearance but when someone looks good and I know they’ve worked hard in themselves I always say it to them. I just feel a bit deflated I suppose. I know IABU! But it still hurts a little…

This is not the case at all, but thanks for your assumptions…I did it for me! I literally said that.

How did you lose this much in a month?

I don’t comment anymore. I know a few people who have lost weight recently through illness so I’m wary of commenting. So unless I knew you well and knew you’d been working at it I wouldn’t say anything

Then why are you so bothered whether anyone notices or says anything?!?

You are being very unreasonable just be happy that you have lost the weight and feel good. That's all that matters
Honestly people notice other people a lot less than you imagine. I had lost two stone before my husband even noticed!
I had put on a lot of weight last time I saw family I hadn't seen for a while and I know I looked very different from the time before when I saw them I'm pleased they didn't comment they just saw me as me and when I see them again I will be almost three stone lighter but again I don't want them to comment.

I guess is down to you. You can bring it into c9nversation

Cousin: Hi how you doing. Been a while. How did your holiday go? Etc

Op: Great. i lost two stone so I am feeling really fit!

Cousin: Oh I can tell . congrats

I’ve learned from MN that many posters think commenting on weight is not welcome - ever.

Some people perhaps don’t want to offend you. I always say to friends or family something like ‘have you lost weight? You look great!’ But I’ve seen comments on here that it is appropriate.

They’ve probably been reading mumsnet. It’s a crime to comment on anybody’s weight in any way don’t you know……

I have lost near 8 stone in the past 2 years… only 3 people have said anything. I too saw my whole extended family a while ago and no one said a word. I’m sure people have noticed but as PPs have said we are conditioned not to say anything

If you wouldn't expect your family to say anything if you had piled weight on, it's unreasonable to expect them to comment on a weight loss. It's rude to comment on anybody's weight.

I refrain from commenting on weight unless asked.

If you look and feel good, why do you care? You said you didn't need the validation.

Ate healthier, more protein, less carbs. No snacking. Walking 3 times a week.

This. Trust me they noticed🌷

Congratulations on improving your health!

I lost 3.5st and my Mum didn’t notice.

Genuinely didn’t notice. I went from a 16 to a 12.

She only noticed when a family member who doesn’t see me often pointed it out.

People at work didn’t notice until I was about 3st down.

Do your family know you’ve worked hard and were trying for weight loss?
I wouldn’t say anything about anyone’s weight (especially someone that wasn’t that big before). You never know what people are going through and not everyone wants to talk about their weight loss. If you mentioned it and I thought you looked great and could tell, then I would obviously say you look great.

Well done from me!

They may have been avoiding mentioning it as its too rude/personal/a sensitive subject.

Or they may be unobservant and self absorbed and not noticed.

I have to say that unless someone loses absolutely loads of weight sometimes people don't really notice. I'm trying to drop half a stone at the moment and I'll be delighted if I get there and I will be able to tell the difference in the fit of my clothes etc. But I doubt anyone else will notice or care.

The other thing that occurred to me is - are you a yoyo dieter whose weight goes up and down? They may have forgotten since last seeing you what your weight was last time? My mum fluctuated between size 18 and size 10. She'd diet fiercely for a few months and be really slim then gradually put it all back. One day a family friend was visiting after a couple of years and mum was size 10 and thrilled at the thought of surprising her. But she didn't even register. Mum was really disappointed but the friend told me later that she thought mum had been in a slim phase when she last saw her, so seeing her slim again was no surprise.

A lot of people are afraid to mention weight these days.

Ive lost 5.5 stone and find that people know where I live in Scotland will happily exclaim and congratulate to me.

But when I go down south for work -
no one says a word unless they are aged 50 and above.

Nope I have never lost weight in my life before. It just slowly crept up over the years.
thank you ☺️

I personally wouldn't comment on that level of weight loss.

You weren't big to start with, and although I'm sure you look great and you've done really well to get to a point where you're happy, it's not a dramatic transformation to other people. It's the kind of weight loss where someone who hadn't seen you for a while might think 'Oh, she's looking good' without really registering why.

Depends on your size and how you carry your weight I think. They may not have realised you were so much better if you dressed to hide it and didn’t carry weight on your face ?

Yes, exactly. And some people are complete nutters about weight loss. I had to point out to one person who kept telling me I looked great and had lost so much weight that it was because I had cancer, and she still kept saying ‘Well it suits you!’

Unfortunately, when you’re getting down to around 8 stones or less a lot of people will become critical, thinking you ‘looked better before’ or are too thin. Possibly, this is what they were thinking so didn’t want to say anything (I’ve definitely had this.)

Weight loss can be caused by so many things. Could be illness, could be an ED. I would never risk commenting on weight. Congratulations though and it’s great that you feel well.

I lost 7 stone last year with MJ and honestly people really didn't notice yntil 3 or 4 stone in. 1 and a half stone is great but overall people might not notice right away!

I don’t comment on people’s bodies, it’s none of my business. If they want to talk to me about their bodies, I will let them bring it up.

Loads of people complimented me on my weight loss when I was first diagnosed with a life changing neurological condition and suffered massive muscle wastage. I wish they had minded their own business as well.