AIBU to feel hurt that family did not notice my weight loss?

[Weightloss1234]

I have name changed for this to not link to other posts. But keep a long story short I have lost over 1 1/2 stone since June. I feel absolutely great and I know I look good, lots of people in work have mentioned it to me.
Here’s where my AIBU comes in. I was at a family gathering the other day…with people I have not seen in a while and some I have seen on and off! Not one person said anything. Now I know I don’t need validation for others. And I do understand that a lot of people are hesitant to comment on peoples appearance but when someone looks good and I know they’ve worked hard in themselves I always say it to them. I just feel a bit deflated I suppose. I know IABU! But it still hurts a little…

I’ve lost almost seven stone and my family haven’t commented, except my Dad tentatively asked if I’d lost weight and then said…I’m not saying you needed to! It’s hard for people as they don’t want to offend.

congrats on your weight loss. It’s not easy!

This.

If you wouldn’t comment on it going on, and you shouldn’t, don’t comment on it coming off, unless the person whose body it is clearly signals they would like it.

I would never comment unless they mentioned it first.

My mum lost 4 stone in 6 months. I don't live close so hadn't seen her i in between. I didn't have the option not to comment as it was all she could talk about. If she hadn't said anything I'm not sure how I would have broached it because I thought she looked really unwell and about ten years older.

I wore braces for 4 years only about three people noticed when they came off (none of whom were my husband or children!) and most other people said they didn't think there was anything wrong with my teeth beforehand. Until I showed them the before and after pictures. They were quite shocked. Like others have said it is amazing what other people do not notice. It might be that people hadn't paid much attention to your weight before you lost it either. As long as you feel good that's all that matters.

I lost some weight. My colleague’s husband met me for the first time and described me as being ‘skinny as a rake’. I was absolutely thrilled.

There’s a scene in Motherland when Liz says to Amanda, ‘you look dangerously thin!’ and Amanda says ‘aw, thank you’. That’d be me 😂

I was 5’4, weight 101 kg and am now 70kg

nobody noticed until I’d lost 3st - which is crap cos losing 1.5stone is really hard.

fwiw, my dh adult kids have not so much as said a peep about the fact that I’ve gone from obese to slim. Not said anything about how I look or anything.

it doesn’t fundamentally matter what they think though love, this weight loss is yours, it’s for you, for your health and wellbeing and how you look

external validation is an empty vessel. Be proud of yourself

I agree with you.

They noticed and didnt want to say because they dont want you to think they care how much you weigh and that theyve been staring at and judging your body. I remember when I lost a bit of weight and I was so glad my friends didnt say anything or care. My mil didn’t shut up about it and made comments like “you look so much better” and “I can see it off your stomach.” Made me feel so self conscious and even worse when I put thr weight back on. I would never comment.

I wonder it it’s a generational thing? Id be so offended and hate skinny being seen as a positive.

I think etiquette is to not comment on weight. It’s not always noticeable for a few stone depending on height. I lost 5 stone and it wasn’t until end that people may tentatively say I was looking well and then if I said I’d been on diet would speak about it. So you need to go first if you see what I mean.

I would absolutely never comment on someone’s weight. And I have actually lost a similar amount to you lately (on wegovy, no hard work involved). I would be quite offended if anyone commented on it! My mum makes comments like “oooh I hope you’re eating enough” which is obviously a roundabout way of getting at it, and I find it cringe.

I think it's a sensitive subject and sometimes you won't get it right so a lot of people will tend to not say or take what you say as a guide.

It can be an indicator of being unwell or often I am not too sure and asking if someone hasn't can be awkward. Even the comment of someone looking well can be misconstrued.

Whilst people do sometimes like it to be noted, there are plenty of people who feel as though their worth to others is tied up in how they look and that is a hard thing to reconcile even when you have.lost weighy. Personally I would rather people not mention it.

If you want people to mention it, you might need to mention your new love of a daily walk or health kick

I wouldn't comment. Just as I wouldnt comment on weight gain. Its impolite. Also weight gain/loss can happen for reasons outside someone's control (I have both gained lots of weight and lost lots of weight as side effects of medication)

I absolutely bloody hate it when people make comments such as this: ‘no hard work involved’ because a GLP1 is involved.

It perpetuates the myth that using GLP1 is as easy as jabbing and then you wait for the magic to happen. They aren’t magic and do require hard work if you’re using them correctly.

I’ve been on one for 16months and have absolutely worked my arse off to lose 10.5 stone.

As to OP’s point. I can count on one hand the number of people that have commented on my loss (including family), people just don’t notice stuff and if they do, they don’t feel comfortable asking.

OP I’m sure you look amazing but to most people you were already small so being very slightly smaller probably won’t register with them

It depends how big you are because if you were really big one and a half stone won't look much different at all

Really not something to aspire to

This is what I mean. Id never comment on op gaining weight so why comment she’d lost it? Only if you’d specifically told me.

I went from 10st to just over 8st

Also, it's ok for others to be completely uninterested in your body OP.

There'll be very few people other than yourself who will think it's worthy of mention, and that's even if they do notice.

Just be pleased for yourself.

Yeah, that's not that much of a difference is it?

I lost half my body weight through surgery (3 years ago today, yay!) I recently met up with several people I hadn’t seen since before the surgery and they didn’t say a word! Another person I met up with also said nothing so I mentioned it and said I was really happy to have had the surgery and she said she didn’t want to say anything in case I’d been ill. It’s a minefield. I’d be mortified if I congratulated somebody on their weight loss but they’d been sick, so I tend to keep my mouth shut. I’m very happy to be told I look good/better and have been open about how I did it and that I haven’t been ill.

I lost a lot of weight very quickly when my DF died, it wasn’t intentional the stress literally made it fall off of Me. I hated people mentioning it, every person commented on my weight, how I should eat more, am I taking care of myself etc. etc.
I honestly think no-one should ever comment on anyone’s body or weight, I’ll happily tell a friend that look great or beautiful but i would never comment on their size.

I’m not commenting on your situation, but personally I have lost significant weight without putting any work in. Felt pretty crummy on the medicine at the start if that helps. Would be much better for my health if I did increase exercise etc but I haven’t done this yet due to other commitments.

I never comment on people's weight loss (or gain). Others' bodies are none of my business.

Maybe it doesn’t look at them, but I have gone from a size 12 to a size 8