To ask ds to ask his gf to dress appropriately?

[Daisypod]

We are going to a national trust place soon and ds has asked if his relatively new gf can come. I’m fine with that but she does tend to wear very revealing clothing (skirts only covering half her bum!)
Would I be unreasonable to ask for her to dress a little more conservatively for the day? If so how would you say it?
I really try to not judge others clothing choices but honestly I think showing this much is a bit much for a family day out.

Whatever you say will only go down badly. Don’t bother.

I think this is something she needs to work out for herself. If that’s here style you need to accept that.

No you can't ask her to dress the way you want her to. You are not the clothing police.

Its a national trust place not a temple, theres no dress code. Just accept it, I'm sure she'll grow out of it soon.

Worrying more about others opinions than how she will feel.
No one really cares how others dress.

Agree it will go badly OP.

There’s no way of saying this that doesn’t end badly - she will figure this out herself with time. Please don’t say anything - she and your son will most likely both be offended and that’s the kind of thing that she may hold against you

Go and have a great time enjoying both of their company and conversation - people at the national trust place will cope!

Skirts only covering half her bum????

I wouldn’t say a thing - it will end badly! Let her work it out herself over time.

No, you have no right to do this. She can wear what she wants.

You will damage your relationship with your son if you do this.

Exactly this. She can dress however she wants. You don’t get to decide what is or isn’t appropriate. There is no objectively “correct” way to dress. If this were the Victorian era you’d be appalled if she showed a glimpse of ankle!

Ask him to make sure her arse is covered and leave the wording up to him.

Awkward situation. I feel you, but be warned, you will get nothing on here except people screaming about women's clothing being policed etc etc.

In reality you can either ask your DS to have a gentle word with her about appropriateness and hope it doesn't sour your relationship, or you can decline to invite her.

Kit her out with a Laura Ashley dress I'm sure it will be fine and have a jolly outing.

"There is no objectively “correct” way to dress."

Of course there is. Would you wear a polka dot bikini to a funeral? Maybe you would, but more fool you.

A gentle word? Lol.

A mini skirt at a National Trust place? <faints>

Yes, yes. Do that. Then come back and let us know how it goes!

Ffs…imagine having a daughter and the boyfriend tries to tell her what to wear…you’d be calling him controlling and telling him to LTB.

At the end of the day if she was really dressed inappropriately she wouldn’t be allowed in. Instead you just don’t like how she is dressed

Don't say a word. It's not as if you are going to the Buckingham Palace Garden Party and absolutely nothing good will come from that conversation.

Do you have any DD??

Ah tough one!

I hear you but no, you can’t say anything. Just look away and wait for the day out to end.

Slut shaming her will really endear her to you!

It’s not just about policing what women wear (and actually I think the responses would be the same if it was a man’s clothes OP had an issue with).

This is her son’s girlfriend. There’s no way to make this request that doesn’t cause issues. However it’s worded, whoever says it, no matter how well intentioned, there’s no way she doesn’t take it as “my boyfriend’s mum thinks I dress like a slut”.

Depending on the location, you could make practical suggestions. Eg the national trust we often go to a lot has a really long hilly stony walk that we do, as well as a nice house. If it’s somewhere like that and you’re doing a walk, suggesting sturdy shoes might result in her not wearing a skirt and instead going for a walking boots and shorts outfit. Or saying you’ll be having a picnic on the grass so not to wear anything she doesn’t want grass stains on.

There are so many threads on here lately about 'inappropriate' clothes from what the neighbour hangs on the line to what a cleaner wears to suitable ensembles for cream tea in a National Trust tearoom.