Hubbys job at risk because of family

[Pickybitsheatwave]

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

Your husband is wrong. It's not you who's overreacting, it's him who's severely underreacting. I'd go nuclear on my brother and his wife in his shoes. This is all just not okay...

I knew you were going to say this.

jesus christ, he will be lucky if he just loses his job & they don’t press charges

This is one of the only times I would advocate the going absolutely fucking mental approach. Tell BIL if hubby loses his job is he going to pay his salary till he gets another?! Which is going to be very very difficult given the situation.

I think you need to start contingency planning, work out what can be cut from your bills, what benefits you might get, hubby needs to start looking for any kind of job, its not easy out there right now and this will not help.

I agree with this.

if DH had played by the rules he wouldn't be at risk of losing his job.

you're not over reacting if he's still in your home. He's be enjoy his brothers hospitality if I was married to the idiot.

Don’t lie and say she stole it, that will only make it worse for your husband. In the course of any investigation they will look at past transactions, which I believe also includes looking at CCTV. They are likely already aware that your husband has repeatedly allowed the card to be misused.

The poster who suggested getting them to agree for him to resign & still get a reference sounds like the absolute best outcome here.

OP all 3 of them have been ridiculously stupid, you definitely are not over reacting

Hubby, hubby, hubby - and 'bare'.

Stop picking on OP for her terms of endearment. You may not like ‘hubby’ and you may be the official spelling police, but there is a time and a place and this is neither. OP’s husband may be out of a job and that’s frightening. Give her a break.

Easy, he throws her under the bus. She's a thief and stole his card. He didn't notice it was missing.

How can you have any credibility as a Manager if you flagrantly break the rules on this. It's a significant financial perk for employees and a defined family member only. If you abuse it you are in effect stealing. The instruction to BIL partner 'not to steal' when using it is bizarre. All of the parties are dishonest and your husband has been dishonest as an employee with his employer and he has responsibility to ensure honesty within the organisation as a Manager. If he doesn't get sacked then thank your lucky stars and move on and be honest in future and don't permit any situation where other people's dishonesty impacts on your lives.

They’ll go back through his previous transactions and see that the brother and SIL have repeatedly used it before and after him.

Exactly. They hold all the data of use of that card and will look at it as part of their investigation. All self service is on cctv. They will know how often it has been used and know when it was not their employee. That is why it is crazy to do this. You can not get away with it for any prolonged time. They also know how much their employees should be spending on average and as soon as the spend on the card goes above a certain level it is flagged and monitored. Tesco bought out one of the largest data analytical companys in UK to integrate customer data into their business model. Clubcard was the result. They can predict an employee (and all of us) spend within scarily accurate parameters. As a manager you would think he had some insight into this.

Well your DH is dishonest because he gave his employee discount card to his brother. His brother is a twit because he passed it to his thieving wife but told her not to steal when she's using it. And the thief has no worries about stealing from supermarkets or landing her BiL in the shit. What a family!

The best suggestion anyone can come up with is for your DH to lie and claim SiL stole his card. I don't think he owes her any loyalty but it's his own fault for being dishonest in the first place.

And you're definitely not overreacting as your DH is likely to be fired and find it difficult to get another management position in retail when he's been sacked for dishonesty.

The best advice is to go against a family tradition and actually be honest for a change. Admit giving it to brother and say misunderstood the family entitlement and didn't realise they had to apply for a separate card. Say no idea brother was giving it to his thieving partner. Say learned a very hard lesson and will ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Hope for the best.
And OP, this isn't on you and your husband down playing it is a separate issue for you. I suggest he is hiding from the reality of the situation.

already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing.

Haha, love it😂

The issue for your husband is that he got caught committing fraud. It may have seemed like a small fraud but he must have known the potential consequences (job loss) so he was very foolish. This has nothing to do with the shoplifting which he did not commit and for which he will not be held responsible. That was just the event that brought his fraud to light.

Your husband's job is at risk because of his actions.

Why would he give his brother his staff discount card? That's a stupid and fundamentally dishonest thing to do. Spectacularly stupid for senior management. What was he thinking?

To be honest, if he is fired, he only has himself to blame. Hopefully he'll learn not to do it, and then get a new job.

I used to work for Tesco.

The issue for him isn't her stealing. That's on her and her alone. They may suspect he knew about it - but I can't see that they can implicate him in it.

The issue is that he allowed his card to be used by someone else. This is expressly not allowed in the terms and conditions - and yes, people can and do get sacked for that.

But don't blame family - that's all down to your husband decision to let others use the card when he does have the option of a second card specifically for a family member.

They may well check CCTV footage of previous transactions using the card - and Tesco checkouts and self service have a lot of CCTV coverage.

He may have to make his employers believe that she and bil (and anyone else that may have used the card, including op) were able to steal it on multiple occasions in between which he used the card himself.

That could be a tricky sell, and being caught lying about it will almost certainly ensure he's out the door.

The shoplifting won’t even come in to it. Your husband will be dismissed because he gave someone his clubcard in breech of the terms of use, regardless of what they then did with it. He should have applied for his second clubcard for his brother if he wanted him to have use of staff discount - you’re allowed one extra for one family member regardless of whether they live with you. But I assume you also use his clubcard - so you should really have the second one, not his brother. Is your husband using his clubcard on the clubcard app and his brother has the physical card? Either way I’d encourage your husband to start job hunting as he will be dismissed.

Yeah, I'm confused as to the actual stealing. Using his card is probably fraud but why put the first items through first. Just don't get it.

It’s classed as gross misconduct to share your clubcard and he should know this as a manager. I’ve seen numerous people lose their jobs over this and in all honesty it would be a miracle if he gets anything less than dismissal. Not what you want to hear I know but there’s no point sugar coating it sorry.

Sorry OP, but he is an absolute idiot.
I would lose all respect for someone so stupid.
His brother is more important than you.
If you don't have children and he loses his job, dump him.

If you do have children, god help you and them.

Oh okay. Thought this might be the case. Wasn't sure. Would think they would be 2 different cases. The employment issue would be the use of the card but the stealing would be on sil. I would think the event as a whole would colour the employers attitude though and probably lose any grace the employer may have given normally.