Hubbys job at risk because of family

[Pickybitsheatwave]

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

'And still all he can say to his DB is "you might have to stop using it"!
How has he not already demanded it back?!'

That will not look good at any disciplinary hearing. They are bound to question the DH about what he did once he found out his card has been abused; if they find out he didn't immediately demand it back (and especially, if his DB still has possession of it) it is just going to make DH look worse as it will show he has no idea how serious this is.

Really, although I am very sorry for the OP and hope for her sake it doesn't come to that, I think her DH deserves to lose his job as he is not fit to hold a position of responsibility & trust.

H op at the end of the day he shouldn’t have passed it on to anyone but now you just hope he gets kept on and tell them to cancel card and get a new one keep it close to him also report her for the robbing anonymously so they can catch her out. Op now you can also ignore the thief if she says anything to you just tell her you don’t like her she’s a thief and it’s not she’s on the bones of her arse. Op its probably a thrill for her getting stuff for free and causing shops to increase prices because of her and the other thieves. Which is a bloody lot btw.

I've worked for 3 different retailers with discount schemes over the past 30 years, although not Tesco. At each one it was made very clear that the card and partner card were for my use and others in my household, and that was it. When I moved out of my parents house and changed my address, I even had to sign a form to say I understood that my mum could no longer use her card.

At my current job I'm not even supposed to buy something for someone else and get the money back for it as it's considered gross misconduct. I do it occasionally but make damn sure that I don't mention it and it's something that I would buy anyway.

Presumably he admitted to giving the card to his brother but not to her. (i sincerely hope they prosecute her, we're all paying for these AH shoplifters!) has he said why he gave his brother the card ie was it fir his use or to do something for your DH?

I hope he doesn't get the sack, but it is a form of theft if its not permitted to give the card to his brother.

Big hugs to you, it must be horrible for you.

Sorry if this has been repeated many times but on the Tesco careers website the job adverts say under
What's in it for me:

• Get 10% off and 15% at pay day weekends - save up to £2,000 a year with your Colleague Clubcard with an additional card to share with family outside your home

I know he should have ordered the additional card. But it seems the family one is for family outside your home. I don't know if the employee card offers a greater discount amount than the family one though.

Their job adverts (on the Tesco careers website) say this

• Get 10% off and 15% at pay day weekends - save up to £2,000 a year with your Colleague Clubcard with an additional card to share with family outside your home

I don't think their allowed to let other people use their staff discount. That counts as theft. I know someone that was sacked for picking up a 50p money off coupon off the floor and pocketing it. Even though it would have gone in the bin. It was put down as theft.

How would they prove that she didn’t steal it?

It will vary between employers. Make sure you are very clear you can do this before doing it. Don't assume it's OK or that it won't be an issue if uou do it. The discount is not worth the consequences of getting it wrong, as we are seeing from this thread.

This whole thing has been exposed because she was caught shoplifting whilst using DH's discount card.

I assume that means they may be taking the shoplifting further with the police. If DH says she stole the discount card as well, presumably that could be added to the police report.

So not only is DH lying to his employer, he could end up lying to the police.

I'm no detective but:
a) If he was at work when it was used he wasn't on a yellow line, they know if he was at work.
b) It's highly unlikely this was the first time it was lent out. They will check every time it has been used and who used it. They do this by payment information and cctv.
c) They know how much has been bought with discount and when. If he used it for a big shop Friday and it was used for another half shop Saturday (obviously with half being stolen and not logged). They even know what was bought everyone it was used. This is what club cards do.

Trying to cover dishonesty with dishonesty rarely works and doing in a situation where all the dishonest actions are actually logged and filmed is reducing your chances to almost nil.
Then you have to face the consequences of you trying to cover up your dishonesty by being dishonest.....
That could be a bigger issue than your initial 'foolish' actions when you were stressed and under family pressure.

Also the ridiculousness of that post suggesting he says he was on a double yellow 🤣 she filled an entire trolley with shopping? What kind of speedy shopper is she? Also to say ‘I know I did wrong by letting her use my discount for me but I was actually parked illegally and I didn’t know she was going to go in to commit a crime’ is just hilarious.

They will look at when it has been used and the data from all of the purchases. I would bet the BIL's family have used it multiple times in the past and DH has used it inbetween so that would show the card hasn't been stolen.

He also hasn't reported the card stolen to the police.

He hasn't reported the card as stolen to his employer either.

In these HR cases we don't have to prove beyond reasonable doubt, it's not a court of law....we look at what is the most likely scenario based on balance of probability. Nobody is going to believe that it was stolen, it'll just comfirm to those in the disciplinary hearing that he's a liar and therefore untrustworthy. Hopefully he's not that silly to attempt it as a "defence".

I don't think some posters understand that Tesco can and do track every transaction using that discount card and in most cases, will have CCTV footage of that transaction (and CCTV footage before and after the point of purchase if needed).

Where the transactions happened, what days, what times, payment cards used, products purchased...

Why do they need to prove anything? They just have to not believe him - which could be because they find the BIL/SIL has used it many times before before (which seems to be the case), it could be because the BIL says the husband gave it to him, or it could just be because they've heard the same bullshit excuse hundreds of times before. If they think he's compounded the original breach of card use rules by lying to cover it up he'll be out on his arse, and then if he wanted to press the point that they hadn't proved the SIL hadn't nicked it he'd have to bring a bogus unfair dismissal claim which is a whole other level of stupid.

It seems to be a minority pursuit judging from many of the comments on here but being honest really is his best bet.

Edit: pretty much a cross-post with GameOfJones above who says much the same.

The first thing they do when investigating these situations is innocently ask 'have you got you discount card on you' you, unaware of the trap or any impending issues, say, as everyone would, 'yes it's here in my wallet'. Them. 'Great, at least we know it hasn't been stolen then'
'Now there might be an issue with use of your card so we have had to start an investigation, we need to schedule a meeting'
You see the 'it was stolen' defence has been used a thousands times so whilst it might have worked once, they make sure it won't work again.
They sometimes even let you use it again after the unauthorised use before starting a formal investigation, to make sure you have possession. They know the consequences of getting an investigation wrong and they know all the potential defences.
Don't cover up a dishonest mistake with more dishonesty. Mitigate your actions by taking ownership and try and change the narrative to mistakes and misunderstanding and not dishonesty. Rectify any financial loss and offer to take sanctions like removal of the privilege. Look to your unblemished history that might make the mistakes less serious when considering proportional actions by your employer.

@Goatsarebest that's interesting.

I was investigated by my former employer once (completely innocent, I was hoodwinked by a customer) and in the meeting with HR I had no idea what was happening until about 20 minutes in. They started by showing me CCTV footage (of myself) and essentially asked me to narrate the footage. It was obviously clear to them from my reaction that I had no idea what had happened, so hadn't "colluded" in the theft. It was a clever way to do it.

We don’t press charges in the UK ffs.

Surely if he works for Tesco then he knows they have cameras above every till and teams of people who watch the cctv to trace people doing dodgy shit, whether that's staff misusing their colleague clubcards or people deliberately not scanning all the items in their trolley/basket etc?

She doesn't 'need' to steal but keeps doing it. She's a kleptomaniac. It's a mental illness. It can be used as a defence for shoplifting, though not always successfully. She'd no more be able to decide not to steal - out of consideration for your family - than, say, a hoarder could just decide to have a big clear-out.

The idiots are your BIL and DH. It seems they both knew how strong her compulsion is, yet still gave her the card. Your DH most of all, I'm afraid, as he clearly violated company policy by handing the card over to someone else.

There's no point blaming BIL or his partner. Your husband knowingly broke the rules, even to the point he couldn't be bothered getting his brother a family card. He knew there was a high chance the girlfriend would use it and steal stuff, meaning he knew there was a very high risk of getting caught out.

DH and his brother like taking risks, don't they? I can see how BIL and his partner were attracted. Question is, what are you going to do now you've had this distressing feature shoved right in your face? Maybe DH's relaxed attitude to rules is something you like about him. Fair enough, but now he's likely to lose his job and seems pretty relaxed about that, too.

Your thread title is wrong
it should be

Hubby's job is at risk because of hubby !

hubby chose to give his card to his brother...

Your husband knew the rules and chose to associate and share his card with a thief. He deserves to be sacked. What a dick

Omg id be absolutely fuming. What a weasel prick

This post won't help.him, Tesco will definitely see it!

😂