Hubbys job at risk because of family

[Pickybitsheatwave]

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job

No, your DH put his job at risk by giving someone else his employee clubcard to use instead of applying for one for a family member.

You are focussing on the wrong thing ..your DH shouldn’t have given the card to anyone ..whether that person stole is nothing to do with him ..it’s the using a card given for his use

Because she STOLE! Knowing that it would be traced to her brother in law! TWICE!

FFS that's far worse than lending one's discount card.

I would have said the card was stolen but I’m guessing he’s not said it soon enough. Left his wallet at his brothers, wife took it.

Well, Hubby Wubby will likely be up for gross misconduct, as the company are very clear on policies regarding their cards, so will Hubby Wubby will just have to take responsibility for his actions.

Not for an employment law situation ..the criminal acts of the theft ..stand alone ..unless you think they can prove a conspiracy…the issue the employer is investigating is misuse of an employee discount card… the theft is an irrelevance, red herring

No - DH is responsible for what he can control- which is the correct use of his card, he abused this.
SIL’s thieving brought it to light otherwise DH would have carried on breaking the rules allowing his DB to use it.
This is all on DH alone

It's a really common shoplifting technique where they go to a self checkout lane, scan a few items, then pretend to scan the rest. They then pay for the few items and hope the store doesn't notice.

Your DH is irresponsible and your BIL and his wife sound like absolute cretins.

has always been able to trust his brother so this is a shock.

Trusting an adulterer married to a shoplifter is pretty embarrassing for him.

Is he going to tell his employer they're overreacting too?

This issue is your husband giving it to his brother to use in the first place. He’s knowingly committed gross misconduct. Your SIL’s actions may have led to him being caught, but he’s entirely responsible for misusing his card. He’s cost himself his job.

Didn’t the card have a man’s name on it?

Your husband really messed up.

Tesco are very clear abut their employee cards.
Not transferrable and you can order a card for someone in your household.

Your DH didn't follow company policy.

He has no defence.

He can't even say she stole the card as he's supposed to report it if lost or stolen.

Your SIL and BIL sound awful but it's your DH's stupidity thst led to this.

I can't see him keeping his job.
Negotiating resigning with an agreed reference might be a better call.

It was silly your DH giving it to his brother. However his brother gave it to his wife without your DH consent.

Your DH could say it was stolen by them and that he didn't know they had it. And then your DH needs to never lend it out again to anyone. Lesson learnt.

She’s a thief who stole his card. That’s the least I’d expect from both of them. Twits.

Your BIL is also stealing by using a discount card he’s not entitled to. Your husband is the same by giving the card to his brother. The “other woman” adulteress using the card given to her by your BIL was warned by your BIL not to use it when she was stealing is hilarious.

A plague on all of them. Your ire should be firmly on your very stupid husband. He created this mess, likely a dismissal situation.

It was really foolish of him to lend his card to anybody and to lend it to a known thief is beyond belief. Whether or not your DH loses his job I would have nothing to do with those two ever again. His judgement is in question.

🤣🤣🤣🤣. And check the user name

2/10 OP

The terms of use of his discount card will state that he can't hand this off to other people to use, he would realistically lose his job as a result of this regardless, it absolutely would have been discovered in the near future, even without this situation highlighting it.

When he is inevitably dismissed for gross misconduct that is because of his own error of judgement in allowing someone else to use his discount card when that is strictly not allowed. He is the one responsible for maintaining proper use of the discount card and he has shared it outside of policy. The fact he is in a managerial role and has undertaken this action makes it even worse and it will reflect even more poorly on him again if he refuses to take accountability at his disciplinary meeting.

Accept that or not but that is how it is seen in the eyes of the employer. The most sensible thing to do would be to resign before he is dismissed and use the time to find another job.

Club card employee discount can only be used by 1 other member and that had to be from the same household so yes he is going to be looking at an investigation with consequence.

Ahh well I hope he loses it anyway! As apparently I think to deeply into things and I’m making it sound worse than it is. Good luck to him.

The thing is though by enabling his brother to use his card he’s conspiring to commit fraud/steal from the company he works for. How can he not see that? At the very least that has to be a final written warning but I’d imagine it’s gross misconduct and immediate dismissal. How on earth will he get another similar role without a reference?

Does your husband’s family have a tenuous grasp of ethics?

Is she being prosecuted? If she is stealing trolley’s worth and has been caught more than once, then she must have reached the threshold for the police to get involved.

Blaming the thief you mean? Al 3 are at fault but she actively stole