To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

[ComeOnNowww]

I want help! People's tips. I don't understand how people manage. I live in a fairly large old house.

This is my weekday routine

7am wake
7.30 - 8.30 getting kids ready for school (primary)
8.30 - 9.30 rush to office or back home to wfh.
9.30 - 5 work my arse off. Back to back meetings
5.30 pick up kids from after school
6 - 7 dinner
7 - 8 bath, bed
8 - 9 constantly put kids back to bed. Feel like tearing my hair out
9 - 9.30 basic tidy, dishwasher, check uniforms
9.30 - 10.30 try to do bits but in all honesty drink a wine and watch telly

My house is disgusting. I mean real mess. - my bathrooms are gross, dust everywhere. Im sprinting to stay still. Just about keep the show on the road but dusting, hoovering, proper cleans so hard to do

At the weekend, i do what i can. But all boys - primary school - and theyre so hyper. If I dont take them out they're out of control

What are other women doing? I dont know how womens homes look normal when they have young kids and work FT. My house is bad enough so id be embarrassed to let somone pop round. No parents. Husband MIA.

Practical tips? I feel like im missing something.

Great thread OP! Does nobody sleep here?

I have a cleaner who comes for several hours a week and also does tidying, laundry etc.

I agree 7am seems like a very late start - luxury..!

As a side note, if you’re a single mum I’d have to say that 7am is a late start. I mean, I’ve got a fully functioning spouse and we get up at 6 to make the day work

I bet you do. It takes a lot of energy to be that superior! [JOKE] This did remind me of one of my DH work colleagues in NY who declared that 'this bagel is not working for me' -

A lady I know whose house is always clean despite her and her husband having full on jobs just cleans one room per day. So they're always on constant rotation. She doesn't spend hours doing it either.......just 20 minutes / half an hour. The kitchens done daily obviously and the bathroom she cleans as she goes.

I was in awe.....not enough to take on the same routine myself but I was impressed !

Tidy up dinner as you cook - don’t leave kitchen till dishwasher loaded and doing its thing
Look to streamline bedtime routine - encourage more independence. Could you be willing bathroom/ toilet while they bath - will depend on children ages.
do 1 load of laundry overnight each day. Hang up early in morning and try to fold and put in sorted boxes (1 per person) for them to put away Saturday morning.
do 1 room focus per day - 30 mins blitz.
get up earlier before kids and use that time while you are refreshed and will be more productive.
finally - don’t have unrealistic expectations or anticipations of judgement from anyone. If the kitchen and bathroom are clean enough not to kill your you’ve done enough!

Be kind to yourself. You are doing your best with no time and no help.
Practical tip: Put some shower cleaning products (cif) in the shower and a scrub daddy sponge and clean it every other day whilst you have your shower .If its lime scaled ,cover it in a remover 1st whilst you brush your teeth .It takes 5 mins and as you are in the shower anyway it's super quick and easy. Start doing the same before you brush your teeth, make a cup of tea with the kitchen and bathroom sinks. At least then you have a clean shower and sinks.

You've got enough going on already, don't sacrifice your sleep or small window of downtime.

Most likely because OP is doing bloody everything herself and is doing the very very sensible thing of protecting just a bit of her peace, and sleep.

OP you are doing amazing. Id say the same as everyone, cleaner. If you can save a bit of money and get someone in every day for a week to clean, blitz the place. Then its in a good enough state for you to feel less overwhelmed and manage it yourself for quite a while.

From my experience I would say - get a robot vac, ours helps downstairs and can mop too. It was second hand off eBay, this one is called Narwal. We have been through a few ! 😆 this one is the best so far.

Only have what you need, I watched The Minimalists and got rid of loads of stuff (only have one small wardrobe for myself, no huge bookshelves of stuff etc). One load of washing on at bedtime, chuck it in the dryer in the morning.

It is very hard though and never the bit people mention when thinking of having a baby.

Concentrate on throwing stuff away. Keep on top of clothes washing and bathrooms. No one dies from dust. (And I'm allergic to it)

Every time you find yourself reaching for your phone to do on mumsnet, face book, instagram etc… put it down @ComeOnNowww and do a house work job.

And think how nice it will be for your kids to grow up in a house that they’re happy to have their friends over because it’s not “disgusting”

Get him out as soon as you can. He either then has to take the kids giving you time for yourself, or pay maintenance which might free up funds for a cleaner.

Have you got any friends or family who could take the kids for a day while you deep clean the house. It’s easier to stay on top of things than catch up.

also have you got a wireless headset for work? Can you leave your desk for any meetings? Can you ever take a work call while doing something like putting the washing away?

and start teaching the kids to help now. Give them simple chores like pairing the socks or putting toys away. Make sure they are learning to wipe up after themselves and things like that.

Forget bagging up and taking to charity
you won’t take the bags to charity, they’ll sit there

leave outside your house the good stuff with a “free to collector” and the rest…. Bin. It’s brutal but it’ll hopefully be the last time you ever never to do this

You are doing a great job OP. Hats off to you. Being a single parent is unbelievably hard. I second the calls for a cleaner and it a robot vacuum. Honestly the second best thing I ever bought (after the house).

The only additional bit of advice that is to repeat the mantra “don’t put it down, put it away” in your head to try to enough tidying as you go. Also if you see a job that’ll take under 5 mins, just do it there and then.

Though even with the cleaner, the robot and me doing my best, my house is far from clean and tidy! One day, I’ll have a clean and tidy house, one day…!

The biggest ease to cleaning imo is to be clutter free . If you don’t have the right storage and everything is strewn everywhere you can’t get to the floor or any surfaces to clean it . Somehow you need to get your kids to tidy away after themselves . If they have lots of energy let them use it by helping you out , put music on to put toys away , strip the beds . They are 5/6 so old enough to help . As for your lard arse partner the sooner he’s gone the better , at least that’s one bit of clutter gone . The other thing I’d say is don’t aim for perfection , just one task a day and the boys doing their bit will help .

I'd say you're waking too late. I wake at 5/6 have a quiet coffee and then always clear the dishwasher. Put the washing out (it runs on the cheap night time electricity) and do any mum admin, maybe do weekly online shop and I might clean one downstairs room so by 7 the housework is done. At the weekend the proper cleaning happens

Single parent here, best thing i did was hire a cleaner who also tidies. She would tell me that this bit/that bit doesn't look good so can she clear it. I was at my laptop all the time so i was oblivious to how things actually could look. She comes weekly and does about 5hrs for a 3 bed, 3 bathroom home. Currently working through the kitchen cupboard mess. Maybe you could do this for a bit then maintain it?

If you’ve got a job where you’re in meetings all day, sounds like you’re senior management?

if so, can you not afford a cleaner?

Other than that, you put the DCs in a Saturday club somewhere for a couple of hours or pack off to relatives and then blitz yourself.

I feel you op. I have a cleaner once every 2 weeks and my house is still a shithole.

Definitely don’t give up your wind down time before bed.

I’m gradually trying to declutter the house as we have stuff everywhere. I figure that will make it easier to manage. Be ruthless and chuck stuff.

OP my house is not visitor ready anytime except when I know there will be visitors!

Take it easy on yourself. Don’t sleep less and don’t lose your downtime.

Also don’t compare to others. People
posting here might not even be real people…

Do what you need to do to get through and I think you’re a great Mum as your focus is your kids and not a show home. Children don’t need a show home to be happy.

My house is disgusting. I have an 7 yr old profoundly autistic child & a 1 year old, both of whom are up throughout the night - so I can't drag myself out of bed before they get up at 6. Eldest is at school, but I just can't get anything meaningful done while 1 year old is crawling round my feet. I work part time, adhoc hours when he naps. I know there must be pockets of time in the day I am missing (doom scrolling) but it feels impossible. My DH's family also
love to call round unexpectedly. Eurgh, you have my solidarity if nothing else.

Im an early riser . I do it so I can have some peace before everyone else gets up . Can you wake up 30 minutes earlier to have a tea/ coffee and recharge, then put a playlist on low and clean/tidy as many areas downstairs while a song is playing and then move to a different room/area when another song comes on. Get at least 1 robot vacuum for downstairs. Its not perfect but should keep thing bearable until you can get on top of it

Ah OP I’m so sorry. This is what I would do:

• sell a load of stuff on Vinted and pay for a deep clean. Here’s its £200 odd for a 10 hour clean- get it pristine to start with
• take 30 mins a day (6-6:30 if needed) to put a wash on, clean down the sides, run a hoover etc
• invest in a robotic hoover with mop for downstairs- coming home to clean and mopped floors daily is amazing and on Amazon prime they’re maybe £100-120?
• On the weekend tell the kids you need 2 hours at some point to do jobs. They can join in or entertain themselves
• i keep a pot of the pink stuff and a scrub daddy in the shower and while I condition my hair I will sometimes give the shower a good scrub down and rinse.
• Get in the habit or returning things to their place CONSTANTLY. Not sure if that’s healthy tbh but every time I leave a room I’m putting stuff back, when clutter builds up I immediately sort it. Kids tidy up their toys/books before watching TV.
• Get a new partner who isn’t a useless waste of space

dont feel bad all the time channel any energy into proactivity

While DC are in the bath, clean the bathroom. Not all in one night. Monday polish taps and mirrors. Tuesday wipe surfaces. Wednesday chuck out empty/crusty old bottles and toothpaste etc. Thursday swap towels and bath mats etc. Give the loo a quick swipe with a brush every day. Give DC those net massage scrubs and get them to scrub the sids of the bath as you let the water out, so there's no scum line on the bath.

First thing in the morning on wfh days, put on a washload on a quick cycle. When you get back from dropping DC, hang it to dry.

Get a robot hoover.

Saturday mornings - 1 hour house clean - everyone helps Make it fun. Loud music. Treat at the end. Get DC to yank pillowcases off their pillows or dust or mop the floor by zooming around with clean old teatowels under their feet, spritzed with al purpose cleaner.

Do things for 5 minutes. It's incredible how muchyou can do in 5 mins. Set a timer. DC put all toys in baskets, books on the shelf, dirty clothes in the wash. You hang up coats, bags, pair shoes, chuck out junk mail, empty packed lunch boxes etc. You will be amazed how much better it looks.

The key is not to think of doing it all. That's overwhelm. Get into the habit of 5 mins in kitchen while they burble about their day; 5 mins in bathroom while supervising bath or teeth, 5 mins before bed when you all tidy up to a favourite song etc.

I know they're only little but they can help you. What are they doing while you are making dinner? Are there some chores they can do for you to help you out? Even if it's just tidying rather than cleaning. I hope you can get rid of the dead weight soon.