To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

[ComeOnNowww]

I want help! People's tips. I don't understand how people manage. I live in a fairly large old house.

This is my weekday routine

7am wake
7.30 - 8.30 getting kids ready for school (primary)
8.30 - 9.30 rush to office or back home to wfh.
9.30 - 5 work my arse off. Back to back meetings
5.30 pick up kids from after school
6 - 7 dinner
7 - 8 bath, bed
8 - 9 constantly put kids back to bed. Feel like tearing my hair out
9 - 9.30 basic tidy, dishwasher, check uniforms
9.30 - 10.30 try to do bits but in all honesty drink a wine and watch telly

My house is disgusting. I mean real mess. - my bathrooms are gross, dust everywhere. Im sprinting to stay still. Just about keep the show on the road but dusting, hoovering, proper cleans so hard to do

At the weekend, i do what i can. But all boys - primary school - and theyre so hyper. If I dont take them out they're out of control

What are other women doing? I dont know how womens homes look normal when they have young kids and work FT. My house is bad enough so id be embarrassed to let somone pop round. No parents. Husband MIA.

Practical tips? I feel like im missing something.

I didn't say that. There's a vast space between tidy and a tip into which average falls.

Sure thing yes

I’m another one who gets up at 6 and tidies up a bit while having a quiet cup of tea. Actually quite enjoyable!

I love it too. I unload the dishwasher, feed the dog and if my teens have left crumbs post last snacks - I’ll wipe down all the surfaces again.

but I love “closing up” the kitchen with everything clean and tidy and dishwasher on. Makes getting up in the morning a lot more enticing!

snap! Then I throw in getting up at 5am 3 x week and 2 x late evenings a week + basically all sunday evening for kid A's hobby (Kid B takes up sunday AM), then their other hobby on a Friday, plus being the main driver as well as working the 40 hrs a week, doing the school runs, and the majority of the gardening.

I also have to find another hobby for Kid B..

My kids are old enough to contribute though, and this summer is going to be a shocker to them as I am fed up to the max, so they are going to participate in the care of the house or else.

I work full time and keep on top of house work. However, that's just due to the hours I work. I do 2 long days, and work school hours the other 3 days which makes things easier.

I'm a single parent to two, one with additional needs and I firmly believe that there is no magic routiene where 1 adult can do the work of 2. Just like if you were short staffed at work, some things suffer, single parenting you have to drop something too.

The things which work here are:

• I work a bit less than full time hours so I have some time at home most Fridays. I try to use this for time for myself, but also do a couple of jobs.
• One weekend in two my kids are at their dad's and I do things like wash the bedding etc.
• I work from home so I try and clear the surfaces in the kitchen if I'm waiting for the kettle to boil etc.
• I have a cleaner for 2 hours a week, so I don't clean bathrooms or inside fridge, oven etc and I only hoover or mop if people are coming over
• I try and put the dishwasher and washing machine on in the morning and empty in the evening.
• Both my kids know how to cook and take a turn sometimes (this would work even better with cleaning up, but that is a work in progress!)

Even with all of that my house is a long way from being a showroom!

You need to take a week off to tidy and de clutter in summer holidays so kids can help then absolutely hire a cleaner to come in at least once fortnightly.
Your doing everything you should be and more your earning all the money and parenting your kids alone. Stop comparing yourself to others I always found that people who seem to have it all together are receiving massive amounts of support from parents, partner or kids stay at grandparents once month ect so don’t feel bad mines a mess too I can’t afford a cleaner though.

Get a cleaner and teach your boys to tidy as they grow up, (not assuming you don’t do this already) but can you get them to expend some of their energy putting toys away, helping you sort and put away laundry, hang their clothes up , take any rubbish they make to the bin etc . Have a place for everything and teach them to put it there. This will help you if you do become a single parent. You could pay for a one off deep clean and declutter then go forward with a regular cleaner after that. Have you heard of the fly lady cleaning system, this is quite good (on you tube) where you target certain zones of the house on a particular day each week and get into 15/20 minute routines of a particular task / room so it doesn’t overwhelm you.

I’ve three small boys. Husband always at work.
im on extended mat leave with my third and I have a cleaner who comes for 5 hours a fortnight to scrub all the bathrooms and floors etc etc
you’re working FT PLUS doing all the parenting it sounds like. Cut yourself some slack.

So I do 0 housework in the morning.

8am get up
8-8.30 get me and kids ready
8.30-9 school run
9am make a brew - empty dishwashers whilst making brew.
9-5 work
5-pick up kids
5.30- I make dinner, kids tidy up (anything that is theirs, from anywhere in the house).

Whilst making dinner I also put on a washloads or switch the laundry round etc)
6 dinner
6.30 - fill dishwasher and tidy kitchen (I also tidy as I go when I cook)
7pm if it's bath night then I clean the bathroom whilst doing that. I also put away laundry and clean the kids rooms at the same time. My kids are 6&9 and don't need constant bathroom supervision.
7.30 any other tidying/cleaning.
8-9 bedtime
9pm final tidy round/ laundry etc.
9.30-10.30, relax

Just get a cleaner

Mine are grown now but a few things I found helpful:

1. Get up, showered and dressed before the other adult leaves the house.
2. Have a couple of no effort meals in the week so you don't have to cook every night ( make spag bol at the same time as roasting chicken, macoroni cheese/ lasange for the freezer or even just jacket potatos) eat with the children.
3. Have one drawer in the boys bedroom(s) with school clothes in including pants and socks) then they can dress tgemselves.
4. Got this one on here: breakfast after getting dressed school sweat shirt on after that.
5. Agree with PP boys are like puppies outside time everyday bonus is while they are oitside they are not messing your house up.

Thank you so much for all the tips. So much to read and loads of it is so helpful. Scrubbing the shower while I scrub myself....just got to be better multi tasker.

I think getting the kids into better routine will help. Im gonna be realistic as not sure my kids are gonna read quietly in bed...they can barely read (do i need to worry about that now too?? 😅) but they could be more independent. Im dressing them, chasing them to do everything. My oldest is autistic and struggles to retain more than one instruction at a time and can throw off any routine. This morning turned into panic because he said his socks were itchy and I couldn't find another pair for example

I need to hit wine on the head. It's too often.

I find work so much easier than managing the home. I have always struggled but now its dire. But ill try some of these tips for sure. Thank yoi!

My eldest has ASD and my youngest AuDHD and I found morning and after school instruction charts helpful in keeping them knowing what they need to do next. "Check your chart" is a common phrase in our house! I customised them for each child (homework/ reading/ sports etc) I got them off Amazon. They slide a tab when done.

Get a cleaner !

I clean either upstairs or downstairs weekly. And I just blitz it, so yes it does take me all day one weekend but unfortunately that is what it takes. Bleach down the toilet at least weekly, wash towels/sheets weekly, dishwasher nightly and sweep up in kitchen, and wash clothes as needed (usually 4-5 days a week).

I only have 1 child, which helps, and he is 9, which also helps. DD is also not completely useless he can either take DS out or I can tell him to clean the bathroom and he eventually will (he complains but he does do it). But yes, it is never ending and my house is definitely nowhere near as clean as I would like.

Gets the kids to help … given them chores each to earn pocket money. Put the phone down … if you can find time to post on MN you can find time to clean, even if it’s a 10 minute bathroom wipe down. Clean the kitchen up while you’re cooking.
Many people clean the shower while they are in it … wipe the toilet round after use and do the sink while you’re brushing your teeth.

Can you try audio books or soft music while the kids go to sleep. It might help them drift off and free up some time. My library does them so you can borrow them online. Might be good for you too

Sounds like a normal house with FT working parents to me!
Tips - do one small task a day no more than 20mins such as dust one room, clean shower, hoover one area.
You'll never be on top of your chores, they'll always be there and your work will never be done so to speak.
Failing that, accept that most of us live in a functioning pig sty or get a cleaner?

Since my kids left home I’ve become a lot more lax in my household chores! I figure that there’s only me who sees it and tbh I don’t care that much that it’s a bit dusty or the stairs need hoovering!

Anyway it’s too hot to do it at the mo!

It's easier said than done, but cleaning as you go makes the big cleans a lot easier. Clean the toilet and sink whilst kids are in the bath, quick clean of the bath when they get out. Washing up and wiping down sides as you're cooking, clean the table and wash the dinner pots as soon as you finish. If your DC need a lot of attention do quick bursts in between activities at the weekend, few minutes here and there polishing, sweep and mop/hoover one room at a time.
I have weeks were I'm on it and can do it. Other weeks I'm exhausted so sat on here instead of getting the work done!

You can do this! Just make small changes one at a time. You got this

I used to ask my parents to have them a few hours at weekend or my partner to take them out and I would blitz it

I tend to keep on top of the house now as when I let it build up or haven’t got a routine it affects my mental health, feel overwhelmed and frustrated so I am very regimented now. I kinda have to be. I have 7 children, 5 teens and 2 toddlers. It’s hard work. A few things I do is. I clean the bathroom each day when I have a shower, personally I find it easier and it’s now often just a quick wipe around with disinfectant because I do it so often. Toilet I give it a clean once I go for my morning wee 🙈 and then again give it a quick wipe down with disinfectant when I go to bed. Dishwasher goes on every night and I empty it in morning just before doing breakfast so the dishes can go in. I get up at 0600hrs an hr before the kids start rising and that’s when I do most house bits like hoovering downstairs, I do the stairs and upstairs after tea but before bathing and putting toddlers to bed, so it’s a clean slate every morning. I do most cleaning bits in the morning because I like my down time in the evening plus I do like early nights watching tv child free. It was honestly hard at first but once I got into a routine that worked for me, and kept on top of it, now even bigger tasks are only little 5-10min tasks because I do it often it’s not actually ‘dirty’ or ‘unclean’ it’s just refreshing. One thing I advice is completely declutter and try and find a ‘home’ for everything. I often go in each room with one of those rectangle plastic washing baskets and anything out of place or on floor (from the kids) it goes in the basket. Then I sort out the basket. For me it was less overwhelming just working from the basket (if that makes sense) I do that in the kids rooms also when it needs resetting from them ‘tidying’ and ‘keeping their rooms tidy’ because let’s face it those with teens will no doubt understand they are not the tidiest and that’s where most of our missing cups and glasses end up 🤷🏻‍♀️🫣. Xx