To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

[Datingwoee]

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

Doubtful. It’s not a case of not being able to bear it, but choosing not to. I don’t need to subject myself to men I find repulsive, so I don’t.

If you wish to accept people speaking to you in such a classless way then that’s up to you. I will not.

Ugh disgusting. I couldn't be near him after that.

It's irrelevant really. Just because you'd put up with it, it doesn't mean that OP and pp have to.

Especially in the context of a relationship.

It's the kind of humour I'd associate with a sniggering little boy and I'd find it extremely off putting. Could it be that his mask is slipping?

I'd block him and leave him to work it out for himself.

I said YABU because he’s probably just made a clumsy comment trying to be funny

I can't believe the amount of people who've said they laughed at reading that comment.

It's not even remotely funny.

Nope.

I wouldn't waste your time arguing with this poster. He's always got some sort of oppositional view whenever he pops up, I don't think I've ever seen him make a comment that isn't aimed at stirring the pot, defending men, or making women out to be "just as bad", whatever the given context is. He's known for it.

It's not trolling, but there's always an agenda. Best left ignored.

If that comment is unnacceptable, then why are the countless men who say and do the most horrific things considered appropriate for relationships?

I would say it reveals his misogyny. For me that’s a very important aspect of character that I would not overlook. I would say it speaks to how he treats other people. I would guess that someone this coarse is unlikely to delicately resolve anything.

If you think misogynistic ‘jokes’ are just bants then you won’t see my point of view. But I’m not writing for you, and you can carry on with your own life where you can find these kind of ‘jokes’ uproariously funny, but I’m writing for the OP and for anyone who wants to avoid misogynistic men.

You can judge people’s characters using any metric you like. There’s no law about it.

And so can I. I don’t need you to tell me what I should be doing. The OP actually asked and I’ve given my opinion.

because some people have lower standards or because they let one ''joke'' go and it gradually builds up to something much worse and by that time, they are in too deep and struggle more to get out. It is easier to stop things before deep feelings get involved and lives aren't joint.

I imagine that most people who consider this comment unacceptable would obviously consider worse things unacceptable too.

Cringey and not deserving of your company, poor manners dressed-up as a "joke"? Maybe not, maybe his true-self rearing its head, personally I would not hang around to witness again... your call though 😌

Because they’re in relationships with women that are willing to accept it. The women that aren’t willing to are not in relationships with those men.

I’m not sure why this is difficult for you to grasp.

Indeed, some women sadly cannot accept that these hideous comments are in no way representative of a man whom has respect first and foremost in his mind? Ladies, please give such crass behaviour a wide swerve? You'll maybe one day think you had a narrow escape... ❤️

God, the "six of the best made a man of me" argument.

Oh, wait.

In general I think people shouldn't be judged by a single bad comment or even action, but by how they do or don't grow afterwards.

Personally I'd keep the date but mention that you found the joke off-putting, then go by his reaction. If he listens and apologises, that actually shows good character, but if he argues, you know he's incapable of self reflection and growth.

It's gross but I can kind of see why his mind went there. I hate the phrase "freshen up" and have only ever heard it in American dramas.

Immature prick. And ro call it a growler. Instant ick.

Did you go?

If you've slept with him, he is going to assume a level of intimacy that allows this kind of comment. If he's put his penis in you, it seems ok for him to talk about your vagina.

In the most simplistic of terms.

What were you expecting?

Is he Jay from the inbetweeners?

I would cancel, I'd be more annoyed that I wasted the time on five dates with this looser before knowing he was one.

Are you genuinely suggesting that when after a woman sleeps with a man he has the right to talk to her however he wants? Christ.

They probably do worse stuff than this because they got away with early low level bad behaviour and the women were boiling 🐸 🐸 🐸 🐸 🐸