AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

[MounjaMum]

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

@BlueFahrenheit IKR - he was more than happy, I literally said it once - not like I kept saying it for weeks that he HAD to buy it to shut me up.
@Statsquestion1 - he gave me his card to get the bag not to top up what I was short.
@SandyHappy I can assure you there was no manipulation. 'lower myself and perform' - you sound very angry

It doesn't really seem like you want her to mind her own business, as you freely gave her all the information. It seems like you are just mad she had a different opinion that you, which is unreasonable.

It's also very unreasonable to complain about being "broke" (except you're too rich to ever actually be broke lol) and then brag about an expensive handbag your husband bought you. Even if she's in a similar financial position she clearly has more empathy for those who are actually broke.

Hard agree. Shallow and vacuous.

Didn't your parents give you 3 million pounds already to avoid inheritance tax? Use that money.

OP made it her business. She didn't have to share that with her if she didn't want her opinion.

If I had a friend who shared with me that she spend all her money that month on daily manicures, I wouldn't just go silent or say well that's none of my business and then change the topic.

I work too!!! I do the laundry, shopping, ferrying kids around.

It's none of my business but..
You all sound pretty annoying

Don't overshare. I only share my financial affairs with friends in a similar position to myself, as I do not want to offend.

Other people? MY husband - the one I married for better and for worse.

I think you both sound ridiculous and like you're maybe 15. What a silly conversation. Maybe don't talk such specifics since neither of you are handling that well.

She is similar - she is spending as much as me when we go out together,
Am glad you get my point, I was shocked by her reaction because she is exactly like me - i fact she is more priviledged than me - she does not work.

Does she complain about being broke in the same conversation?

Absolutely all of this.

Stop talking about money it's crass. My SIL asked me the other day where I got a dress from because she loved it, I told her the name of the shop and said I'd send her a link if she likes. Not once have I asked anyone how much something costs, I don't think it's normal to do so.

The more you post OP the more you do sound spoilt. Fair enough, that's between you and your husband but maybe people around you have had enough of hearing about it.

So the issue is me saying 'broke' - My question was that I thought she was being unreasonable saying I was a spoilt bitch when she is exactly like me

I can assure you there was no manipulation. 'lower myself and perform' - you sound very angry

yet also:

I did not 'need' a handbag. I liked it and I said to my husband I liked it and 'shame I cannot afford it now' and he said I can have it if I really wanted it.

If you wanted it and you'd ran out of money for the month why not just say that, your 'shame I can't afford it now' is 100% performance, as is 'hinting'. I assume if you ask outright you may not get the result you want so you have learned if you perform this little act he will give you what you want.

It is obviously normal in your marriage and something you have to do, which is why you do it. But not all women will see that as something to be proud of.

So maybe accept that you're both spoilt bitches?

Posters are so harsh. If I had said I got the handbag as a present, no one would have been so mean in your comments I bet.

You made it her business by telling her about it. I think if a good friend told me that she didn’t have enough money to pay for a handbag having spent so much money going out, then getting her DH to pay for it, I would have responded the same as your friend.

Maybe that just means you're both spoilt bitches

You told her your business and she commented because that’s what you wanted. She didn’t give the correct reply so now you’re on MN bragging in the hope you get the right reply from someone, anyone.

You asked if it would be different if it was your mum you were 'hinting' to, my answer was no, you should not be manipulating other people into giving you money for things you don't need when you have wasted your monthly allowance on unnecessary things (like eating out for a week because you won't cook for your own kids).

my husband and he gave me the money "towards it"

You really are ambiguous with your language OP.

You meant he gave you the money "for" it. Giving money towards something means not giving the whole amount.

Add that to saying you and your DC "treating ourselves" instead of "I treated them", and "I'm broke" and "it wasn't expensive" when it was quite expensive and I don't actually trust a word you say.

Is she exactly like you?
She doesn't complain about being broke when obviously not.
Does she never cook?
Does she spend over her budget, then hint at her husband she wants more?

Is she exactly like you though? You say her husband is generous with her but maybe she is not able to manipulate him to give more when she has ran out like you can? (which is why she has called you spoilt)

I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it

Are you running shot/short of handbags or savings, if the latter....

Maybe it was just an observation by your DF and they were just making conversation about it.

In one breath you're telling your friend you'd quite happliy spent £450 going out for food and drinks and in the next you're telling her you got money from your DH for a handbag you wanted as your saving are running low.

Therefore was she commenting more on the fact you were quite happy to spend such an amount in one month going out with friends yet instead of waiting until you had sufficient funds and buying the handbag you hinted and took money from your DH to buy it instead.