AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

[MounjaMum]

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

In your shoes I would have brought the handbag myself the next month when I had the spare funds because it’s just a handbag and I don’t believe in immediate gratification as in ‘I want something now so therefore I must have it’
However how you run your finances, life, relationships are no one’s business but your own. If you had been telling me I wouldn’t have said you were behaving like a spoilt brat, I may have thought it in my head but I wouldn’t have voiced it.
You say she is a really good friend which is probably why she felt comfortable in telling you she thought you were out of order.

I think in the context of a friendship where you do talk about your spending habits, then you are opening yourself up to opinions. Sometimes close friendships come with reality checks and I personally appreciate that in a close friend, but if you don’t want comments then you don’t have that topic up for discussion.

I used to know people who would complain that they were "broke" and other people would then cover their share at drinks or dinner. Later it became clear that they just "didn't want to dip into their savings".

I don't know those people any more.

Not everyone talks like this though and not everyone will say i spent £500 eating out this week, or if my husband bought me.a nice bracelet and someone admired it, i wouldn't say aww thanks it cost £800 .

Confused. You had to ask your husband for a handbag contribution, yet you ate out/ had takeaways, for a whole week? I mean you could have budgeted for a new handbag ( which you knew you needed) and not gone out as much, to save money for the bag?

Having read all of your comments - I see that may be she did say it as a joke - and I may be should have waited next month to get my bag.
I do think some of you are being unfair though - there is no bragging. Like I said she enjoys a very comfortable life. We often go out together and often meet for coffee etc - we text most days.

No it’s is not normal to speak about how much things cost.
Are you not in the UK OP? If you aren’t then that could explain it.
In the UK it is considered rude to speak about how much things cost to this extent. This may be why you’re getting the replies you are.

I think you can't really share information like that and then say mind your own business. If you didn't want it to be her business, then don't mention it to her.

@Lomonald we are not just 'someone' we are very close.
@Enigma54 I did not 'need' a handbag. I liked it and I said to my husband I liked it and 'shame I cannot afford it now' and he said I can have it if I really wanted it. I did not put a gun to his head!
Is that not what married people do? support each other?

@Malasana - I am in the UK

Why is she telling us?

Yes, I class eating takeaway for a whole week because you can’t be bothered to cook for your kids, as a frivolous thing. The trade off for being lazy was not having the funds to purchase a handbag (another frivolous thing) yet you managed to wrangle that off your husband too by ‘hinting’ (gross). That’s why the vast majority of posters think you were bragging to your friend and she called you out for being spoilt and you don’t like it.

I really don't think that's what having a "supportive" partner means to most people. Your husband is simply being generous.

A jealous friend who wants to project her insecurities onto you.

I dropped these friends years ago.

Its none of her business what you spend your money on, but also, you sound terrible at budgeting.

Well I am very happy that some people have lots of money to spend after all eating places are suffering from the Col.You spend all you want on fashion,spas etc I’m sure the businesses are grateful it makes up for those who have very little and even a coffee out is too much.Have fun.

Just to clarify it was not a handbag that costs thousands of £ss - I think posters are thinking that it was a very expensive bag.

I still wouldn't say i spent £500+ eating out this week to a friend, i understand you and your friend like to talk about how much things cost/ was spent on you both, but as I said not everyone talks or lives like this,

Yes, frivolous things like new handbags and afternoon teas with the girls. How many handbags do you have/need? How many spa days and afternoon teas and meals out with girl friends do you have regularly? Perhaps you are in the fortunate position to not have noticed how most of us are drowning in a cost of living crisis where we're often balancing paying mortgage fees, childcare fees and feeding and clothing our children with nothing left. So, yes, to those women handbags and afternoon teas are definitely not in the necessity basket, but considered frivolous additions.

I actually think you are right - am not great at budgeting. I am getting better though.

How much was the bag ?

For a whole week. Shit food for your kids.

I did not 'need' a handbag. I liked it and I said to my husband I liked it and 'shame I cannot afford it now' and he said I can have it if I really wanted it. I did not put a gun to his head!

Bleurgh. Sorry, it's obviously the way you have to do things to get what you want, but it makes my skin crawl.

£420 and it was on sale.

Are you having a laugh !